If you want your child to be confident and strong, don't let them fall into these 7 common traps.

Many psychologists consider EQ (emotional intelligence) to be a sign of a child’s future career success and happiness in life. However, according to American psychologist Scott Mautz, EQ is only one important factor in an individual’s overall psychological strength.

A person's mental strength lies mainly in the ability to control their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, especially when they are in difficult situations. Mr. Scott Mautz has spent decades studying psychology and directly providing psychological counseling to many business clients, helping them achieve mental strength.

Recently, he released the book The Mentally Strong Leader, a synthesis of what he learned from his research and professional practice.

According to expert Scott Mautz, below are 7 common mistakes in thinking that cause an individual to lose confidence and strength. Parents should pay attention to help their children avoid making these mistakes.

Don't get discouraged when faced with setbacks

Strong, confident people understand that setbacks in school, work, and life are inevitable. How we bounce back from setbacks defines who we are. When faced with mistakes, strong, confident people do not take things too seriously, nor do they exaggerate the consequences of those mistakes or oversights.

Parents should help their children have a positive outlook when they encounter setbacks, helping them see this as an opportunity to learn and grow. The important thing is that children know how to focus on finding solutions, finding the best way to move forward.

Don't let yourself get stagnant.

Signs of procrastination include: trying to ignore existing problems; not taking action to solve problems; always making excuses for yourself, blaming others when forced to face problems; being too slow in dealing with problems.

Solving problems is not easy, but confident and strong people do not delay in solving problems step by step. People with good EQ understand the consequences of letting problems continue to exist and create more consequences, they will quickly think of ways to solve the problem.

Parents are the first people to help their children develop a strong personality, confidence, and courage (Illustration: BI).

Don't let yourself have perverse motives.

Living, studying, and working with goals is a great thing, but truly confident and strong people always understand the value of good motivation. They do not demand that they always be the winner, the leader, the standout, the superior. They also do not have actions that come from perverse motivations or unhealthy competitive attitudes.

To help your child be ambitious but not fall into the trap of wrong motives, parents should teach their children to always consider their own interests and the interests of those around them. When they feel hesitant about their actions, not knowing whether they are right or wrong, whether they should do it or not, they should ask themselves: "Is the purpose of this action legitimate and good?"

Don't demand people to love and respect you.

Parents should teach their children not to focus too much on whether others love and respect them as much as they feel they deserve. This way of thinking can cause children to fall into negative emotions every time they feel that others do not treat them well.

Parents should guide their children so that they do not waste time worrying about how they have been treated unfairly. Instead, they should learn how to make people around them love and respect them with the following 3 questions.

What can I give? If you want people around you to love and respect you, you need to learn to give, even give more than you are receiving. Give compliments, recognition, care, sharing, help...

What should I avoid? You should avoid things that negatively affect your image such as taking credit, gossiping, making up stories, always blaming others, always being negative, angry, complaining...

What values ​​should I demonstrate? The beautiful values ​​that my child should have are responsibility, intelligence, understanding, sincerity, honesty, reliability, clarity, consistency, friendliness, cheerfulness, openness...

Parents should work with their children to outline what they can give, what they should avoid, and what values ​​they should have. Through the process of doing these things well, children will gradually gain the love and respect of the majority.

Strong inner strength can be trained over time, so parents can absolutely help their children with this (Illustration: BI).

Neither exalt nor demean yourself

A person with good EQ will not be too confident, nor will he be too self-deprecating. Both overestimating and underestimating oneself can cause negative problems.

Being too confident will make your child subjective and lack caution; being too self-conscious will make your child shy, missing out on opportunities to improve their abilities and experiences.

People with good EQ always think carefully when evaluating themselves, before they start doing anything. Thanks to that, they have confidence, but also know when to seek help and support.

No contradiction between words and actions

When your decisions and actions constantly fluctuate without any reasonable reason, it makes you create instability and lack of stability in yourself. People around you will find it difficult to trust you.

Instability can lead to a loss of trust, a decline in the quality of relationships, and even cause others to avoid interacting with your child.

People who are confident and strong will not act impulsively and then change their decisions quickly. They know how to control their emotions so that they do not rush into speaking, deciding or acting.

People with good EQ know clearly what their priorities are, what they can expect from others, and especially they have high consistency between words and actions, saying goes with doing.

Don't try to please everyone.

Always trying to please everyone around you can make you not dare to be yourself, not live up to what you believe and the values ​​you pursue. You even bring negative emotions upon yourself, wasting time, mind, and energy on things that are not worth it.

To prevent children from falling into the trap of "wanting to be loved by everyone", parents need to help their children set healthy limits, help them prioritize themselves appropriately, instead of always prioritizing others over themselves, hoping to please everyone.

On the journey to adulthood, you need to learn how to be balanced, confident, and self-reliant to be able to help others, but not forget yourself.

According to CNBC

Source: https://dantri.com.vn/giao-duc/neu-muon-con-tu-tin-manh-me-dung-de-con-mac-vao-7-cai-bay-thuong-gap-20241028110053373.htm