GĐXH - Parents should not be too obsessed with maintaining a "close" relationship with their children. Boundaries are important.
Between the ages of 18 and 35, children will gradually distance themselves from their parents as they go to school, work, and get married. There are 6 boundaries that parents should not cross.
1. Ask about spending money
As children grow up and become financially independent, having to listen to their parents' opinions on how to manage money can be frustrating.
Even though parents mean well and want their children to be financially stable, as adults you shouldn't feel obligated to follow their advice or justify your spending habits or money decisions.
In this case, it's a good idea to be honest with your parents. You might say, "I understand that you care about my future and want the best for me.
I feel comfortable with how I manage my money and my life plans. I don't want to discuss this further."
As children grow up and become financially independent, having to listen to their parents' opinions on how to manage money can be frustrating. Illustration photo
2. Treating the daughter-in-law like an outsider
Recently, there was a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law couple who were quite famous on Chinese social media. They held hands and went sightseeing at Tianmen Mountain in Zhangjiajie.
When the tour guide asked what word to use to describe the relationship between the two, the daughter-in-law said, "Probably best friends," and the mother-in-law replied, "Mother and daughter."
When a daughter marries, she becomes a member of her husband's family. However, some parents treat their daughter-in-law as an outsider and openly bully her.
If there is a conflict between the son and his wife, they will stand by their son unconditionally.
This is a very wrong way of thinking.
There are many benefits to having a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Whether a son treats his parents well or not depends half on his wife.
A good daughter-in-law is not as good as a good son! A good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law helps children grow up in a comfortable, friendly atmosphere and ensures a positive mentality.
After the parents pass away, the daughter-in-law is the one who stays by her son's side until old age.
Treat your daughter-in-law like your own daughter. If you do this, your old age will be happier.
3. Occupation
Some parents pressure their children to choose certain career paths that they believe are stable, lucrative, or prestigious.
However, this can create great pressure and anxiety for the child.
Having to choose a career based on parents' wishes can make children feel "never good enough" or afraid to pursue the things they think are best suited for them.
4. Generation gap, interference in children's education
A grandmother was disciplining her 5-year-old grandson, telling him this and that. The grandson suddenly said: "You are not my mother, why should I listen to you?"
Grandmothers and grandmothers look after their grandchildren, and family relationships between generations will become increasingly stronger.
However, taking care of your grandchildren three meals a day, bathing them, and ensuring their safety is already busy enough, so leave the responsibility of educating them to their parents.
Grandparents hope their children and grandchildren will become dragons and phoenixes, and want to shoulder the responsibility of education with the viewpoint "for the good of their grandchildren".
When young people teach their children, grandparents must "pretend to be deaf and mute". They should not interfere, let alone cover up their shortcomings.
5. Giving unsolicited advice
According to clinical psychologist Ryan Howe, most parents tend to "like to give advice on every subject."
This stems from anxiety or distrust in your adult child.
This action by parents makes children feel that they are inferior, being criticized...
According to experts, in this case, the child should frankly say that if he needs his parents' advice, he will ask.
According to clinical psychologist Ryan Howe, most parents tend to "like to give advice on every subject". Illustration photo
6. Comment on your child's body
It is not uncommon for parents to comment on their children's body shape and size throughout their lives, even into adulthood.
Most parents will tell their children "should be thinner" or "should be a little fatter"...
This can be upsetting to hear and even harmful, especially for people struggling with body image issues or eating disorders.
According to experts, children can proactively suggest that their parents not mention this issue too much, then change the topic to something more interesting.
You can also tell your parents directly that you are hurt by this topic.
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/6-ranh-gioi-voi-con-cai-ma-cha-me-khong-nen-vuot-qua-172250310154406593.htm
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