TP - Poor online dating experiences can stem from a variety of reasons, from emotional traps to exploitative app algorithms.
A 2022 Pew Research Center survey found that 53% of Americans under the age of 30 have used an online dating service. However, dating apps have largely left many users dissatisfied and frustrated, as Pew found that 46% of users (and 51% of women) have had a negative experience with online dating.
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Claire, 38 years old |
Some dating companies have been struggling recently, with Bumble's stock falling 30% last month after a poor earnings report and Match Group this year announcing an 8% drop in paid Tinder users and forcing it to cut 6% of its global workforce.
Let's find out why some users decide to stop using dating apps and move on to building relationships in other ways.
“I quit apps on Valentine’s Day” - Claire, 38, London. I’ve been single for about 12 years and have been using apps since they came out. Personally, I find men in London unreliable, indifferent or always busy. Most will connect on the app but never message, and those who do message will jump straight into innuendos and try to steer the conversation in directions I don’t want.
I quit the app on Valentine's Day. I definitely feel better emotionally and have been to a few real-life speed dating events. It's a much more natural way to meet people.
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Ben, 33 years old |
“My heart fluttered, but then…” - Louise, 41, Perth, Australia. Since ending a long-term relationship 10 years ago, I have been constantly deleting and re-downloading dating apps out of boredom, desperation and curiosity. Through Bumble, I met a handsome, hardworking man who seemed loyal and close to his family. We met for lunch near my house, he was very chatty, friendly and complimented my looks. He had a cup of tea at my house and said he would like to see me again. I said yes.
My heart fluttered. But when I texted him the next evening, I got no response. A few days later, I texted again: “Do you not want to see me anymore?” He didn’t reply. A few days later, I saw this man on the app again with a profile in another country and different photos. I panicked and deleted the app.
“I miss the feeling of meeting someone’s eyes” - Ben, 33, Copenhagen, Denmark. I’ve been using dating apps since Tinder first came out. At first, it was a new and exciting way to date, but as I got older, I wanted to meet someone in real life – away from algorithms and technology. I was really tired of constantly scrolling and managing dates. It felt like a second job!
I decided to unplug three months ago. I love the excitement and risk of flirting in real life. As a gay man, I really like communicating through apps, but I realized that I miss the thrill of catching someone's eyes and starting a conversation from there.
“Not showing the real you” - Kaye, 36, Los Angeles (USA). I have been using dating apps for about 16 years. I feel like people are not showing who they really are. Maybe they are showing who they want to be. My most important relationship in the last four years was on an app, but he lied about himself, that he wasn’t divorced and had a child, and a lot of other aspects.
I don't care if he's divorced or has kids but it's weird that he's hiding it from me. Now I realize the app allows him to lie about who he really is.
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| Ellie, 35 years old |
Finally, I decided to put an end to it. Now I hope to build relationships by doing the things I love.
“I definitely won’t be going back” – Ellie, 35, Kent (UK). I discovered Tinder when I lived in London around 2013, then moved on to Bumble and Hinge when I lived in Los Angeles. But even in the two big cities, I didn’t have much success and deleted them earlier this year.
I tend to hook up with people who are “on point” or fit society’s “good looking” standards. I love extreme sports, so any guy with a rock climbing photo is an instant hit. But all this leads to is being ignored, not being compatible, and boring dates.
After moving back to the UK, I was set up with a friend of a friend. Would I connect with him on the app? Honestly, no, but so far it's been great.
Source: https://tienphong.vn/vi-sao-nhieu-nguoi-bo-ung-dung-hen-ho-post1677465.tpo
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