This is what children need to succeed but many parents forget to teach

GĐXH - This is a very important skill to raise a successful child but many parents often ignore or pay little attention to it.

Dr. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist with nearly 20 years of experience working with families. She is a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Behavioral Health Pediatrics at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital and co-founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center. She has a BA from Dartmouth College and is the author of The 5 Principles of Parenting: An Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans.

She has spent nearly 20 years researching how to care for and raise good people. The overlooked skill that Aliza always recommends to parents is inner confidence.

This means that parents should teach their children to have faith in their own abilities and then try their best to achieve their goals.

Children who believe in themselves will continually challenge themselves and put in more effort. Instead of blaming external circumstances or a lack of natural talent, they will focus on factors within their control.

Children who have a strong sense of inner belief are more likely to challenge themselves and put in the effort. Illustration photo

Aliza's research shows that there are several factors that influence a child's self-esteem:

1. Experience in doing things right

To achieve this, children must be challenged at the right level. Pushing children into educational experiences they are not ready for can be counterproductive.

Whenever a child worries about not being able to do something, parents can promote a growth mindset by telling their child, "You haven't tried yet."

2. Watch others do it

It is important for children to see other people of similar background (age, gender, interests) achieving similar things. They will believe that they can do it too.

Once children have confidence in themselves, as long as they don't give up, they will definitely succeed. The feeling of doing something beyond their imagination is wonderful.

Children will enjoy and want to challenge themselves even more.

3. Remind your child of positive experiences

The stories we tell about the past create a sense of our capacity to move toward the future.

Studies show that people who are optimistic, have a growth mindset, and believe in themselves do not have different past experiences than their pessimistic peers. They just remember successes more vividly than failures.

4. Feeling of peace

If your child feels stressed, anxious, or nervous when faced with a challenge, it is important to deal with these emotions first.

Parents can teach their children some self-soothing techniques like deep breathing, which will help them de-stress and focus on what they need to do.

What should parents do to help children be confident in themselves?

Parents and children are not really looking for perfection but for experience. Therefore, parents should remind their children that "Effort makes progress". Illustration photo

Don't do work for your children

Because they think their children are still young, parents still do some tasks for them. However, this thinking causes negative consequences in the development of children's independence later on.

Doing housework, helping parents with chores, and completing their own work are ways for children to learn how to work and take responsibility.

If deprived of these lessons, children will become passive and unable to discover their hidden potential.

Be encouraging when possible.

When possible, encourage and motivate children because they often measure what they can do by what you think.

But be realistic in your praise. If your child fails at something, praise the effort, not the outcome.

Give children the right to decide

To help children become confident, the most important skill parents need to pay attention to is giving them the right to decide. The older the child, the more choices they have.

For example, when going to the supermarket with a 3-year-old child who asks to buy snacks, a parent can say: "You can't buy everything, but you can choose between a soft drink, candy, or a toy."

Choosing their own clothes is also a good method that parents should encourage their children. Having the right to choose what belongs to them will help children build confidence, and at the same time increase their responsibility.

Help your child set realistic goals

When your child starts playing soccer, the initial dream may be to make the Olympic team. However, when even making the class team is not possible, then you need to guide your child to more realistic goals.

Set realistic goals to help your child avoid feeling like a failure.

Encourage children's achievements, no matter how small.

Being busy and not having time makes many parents forget about their children's progress or achievements. Meanwhile, regardless of their age, children need to be recognized and encouraged when they achieve a certain goal.

No need for big things, just when children complete their homework or know how to brush their teeth properly... that's enough for parents to give praise.

Timely praise will help improve self-esteem, making children feel more confident about themselves.

Be patient and non-critical

When doing something for the first time, it is inevitable that mistakes will be made. This is true for adults, not to mention children.

Therefore, what parents need to do is be patient and always praise their children's efforts instead of criticizing them.

Constant criticism from parents only makes children feel incapable of doing anything. On the other hand, if they hear timely praise, they will be more confident, have higher self-esteem and become more mature.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/nghien-cuu-20-nam-cua-chuyen-gia-ve-cac-cha-me-nuoi-day-con-tot-chi-ra-day-moi-la-thu-tre-can-de-thanh-cong-nhung-nhieu-phu-huynh-quen-day-172241214165738585.htm