Due to living conditions, many grown children, having their own families, have to live geographically far away from their elderly parents. However, even in families with many generations living together, there are gaps not in geography but in thinking and perception, gradually creating disagreements called generational differences. This smolders and makes the relationship of love gradually fade away.
Family meal cooking competition at the 3rd Festival of Typical Families of the provinces and cities in the Southwest region, held in Bac Lieu.
Missing family meals
What is a family meal? The concept seems simple, just a meal to fill the stomach, but the content of a family meal is not simply in the material aspect with rice, vegetables, fish, meat, fish sauce, salt, pickles... Family meal also encompasses spiritual values, values of the inherent cultural beauty of family affection contained in it.
Family meals are where the industriousness, the skillfulness, and the meticulousness come from the love and care of women for their families. And if the kitchen has the participation of the husband and children, the sharing of hardships will turn that place into a warm space. Family meals are also where lessons about behavior and life experiences are passed on to children and grandchildren while gathering together...
The living conditions of families today are more complete, now there is almost no scene of "shrimp beard cooked with squash intestines", however, to find a full meal with "husband eating, wife eating" and the bustling laughter of children, is almost a challenge for many families - especially in urban areas. Both husband and wife are officials, civil servants or businessmen, laborers who spend 8 hours a day on work, it is truly a challenge to cook delicious meals. Although housewives today have many conveniences with canned foods of all kinds, fish, meat, vegetables all ready-made, just buy them and cook at home, but during short lunch breaks, even late in the evening, meals are still prepared in a hurry, in the... exhaustion of the "housewife" if the kitchen is only for herself. So boxed meals, pre-cooked meals, restaurant meals... are gradually replacing family meals!
Regional family festivals or celebrations of Vietnamese Family Day (June 28) in each locality, from provincial to district, town, city levels, cooking competitions with the theme of family meals are always the number one priority in the celebration activities. The sumptuous family meals with braised fish, sour soup, stir-fried dishes... are very eye-catching, very standard family meals. The explanations are also convincing about the value of that meal. However, the rice on the competition table and the rice in each family kitchen can sometimes be completely different! There are many challenges to maintaining family meals: it is a challenge to fully perceive the value of family meals; a challenge to be more patient and hardworking of "two-talented" women - who are both good at public affairs and have to take care of the house; a challenge of sharing between husband and wife so that the kitchen has less sweat from women...
Conflicts within multi-generational families are often mentioned in propaganda skits about family. Illustration: CT
Disagreement called "generation"
Mr. NN and his wife (Ward 3, Bac Lieu City) decided to move out on their own, even though he is the only son and the last one living with his elderly parents, including 5 children, who had moved out on their own before. The main reason is because of... their grandson! The grandparents raised their grandchildren in a... traditional way, the daughter-in-law raised her grandchildren in a... scientific way, along with other disagreements about activities and schedules... gradually the young couple felt that the family atmosphere became "suffocating" if they had to live together. So they moved out, even though their siblings tried to advise them. Every day, the children would bring their delicious dishes to their parents' house, when they were sick, the children would come to visit, and at night, the old couple would happily spend time together. The worrying thing is that one day, when the parents are even older, who will take care of them day and night, and later, when one of them is "a hundred years old", who will "return" to live with the other in loneliness.
Another family, Mr. V. (Ward 1, Bac Lieu City) is the only son in a family of 4 children, but he also "didn't get along" when living with his parents so he moved out. Now both parents are sick, so the eldest daughter brought her father back to her own house to take care of him, while the mother lives alone in the old shared house. One day this child comes, another day that child comes to take care of her in a house where she is the only one, even though there are more than 10 children and grandchildren.
Many nuclear families are formed as a division of the “three or four generations under one roof” families, which were once a characteristic of Vietnamese families. It is easy to see that the cracks in multi-generational families are mostly due to conflicts in thinking and perception between generations living together. In many multi-generational families, grandmothers become “second mothers” to their grandchildren. However, behind the story of taking care of children and grandchildren in multi-generational families is a long story of disagreements. Living in a multi-generational family, children have the opportunity to communicate and feel the love of their family members. However, disagreements in child-rearing sometimes cause tension, especially between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law!
At that time, it requires effort from each member, exchange, balance of opinions, experience in raising children from grandparents and also the grandparents' acceptance of modern ways of raising children from young parents. The ancients have a saying "an old mother is worth three children", saying that is too demeaning to the mother's position, but the main implication is that the thoughtfulness and integrity of an old mother is always a solid support for her children. Even though the children grow up and mature, the care and support of parents is never redundant. The problem lies in the fact that each generation has different thoughts and perceptions, so reconciliation and efforts to find common ground are very necessary. Above all, if there is enough love, it will be possible. Even though the opinions are different, in the end, both grandparents and parents want the best for their children and grandchildren.
The challenges in modern families need to be clearly identified and overcome together. Nuclear families or multi-generational families need sharing and empathy stemming from love and understanding to help each family truly become a warm home.
CAM THUY
Source link
Comment (0)