The difference is not erased

***

She and he have been dating for about three years, she is an office worker, and he is a driver at a construction site. I don't know why, despite such differences in life, they love each other and have such a bond with each other. She even introduced him to her family, just waiting until their finances are stable, then they might get married. She is a serious and quiet person, her personality is mature for her age, and he is a joker but loves her sincerely, always finds ways to make her happy because her work environment is much more complicated than his. But sometimes people in love forget that differences in life will sometimes give rise to conflicts that are difficult to accept; and in the early days of love, I thought that as long as there was love, I could overcome everything.

She had forgiven him many times before because she felt his love and care for her. He had simple thoughts about life and often gave her the best he had - what more could a woman need from a man like that? However, the reason she avoided arguments with him was sometimes because he couldn't think deeply, she was helpless in her efforts to explain so she let it go. She didn't know that small conflicts would sometimes carve out pieces in her heart that no matter how much she patched them up, they would never be complete again.

The pandemic two years ago seemed to have a very heavy impact on the economy of some people, including her and him. Her company was lucky to still be able to survive, although the salaries of most employees had been reduced more or less over the past two years, but it was not to the point of unemployment, while he had a more difficult and strenuous job. He worked as a seasonal driver somewhere for only a few months and after two years he still had no stability, but it was not to the point of having no income, so she and he often thought that as long as they tried to save a little, they would not be in need. He loved her very much, his house was more than thirty minutes away from hers, but whenever he had nothing to do, he would often pick her up to go to work because she was nearsighted and afraid that the sun and rain would affect her ability to travel, and sometimes picking her up and dropping her off was enough to make them both happy. The impact of the pandemic on him was that now he could only go to work with an old Wave motorbike and even pick her up and drop her off. Because her job was unstable, she usually asked him first if she needed him for something because sometimes he was suddenly called to work. That day was the wedding of a high school friend of hers, the day before he told her he "might" go to work so that day she went to the wedding with her best friend but when she got home she found him standing in front of the house with an angry face.

- I just asked your mom and found out you were going to a wedding. Why didn't you tell me? Can't I take you?

- I told you but you said you might be busy so I asked a friend to take me. I also didn't want to affect your work so...

- Or is it because my car is ugly that you are afraid to take me to a fancy place?

That was the first time she felt so helpless. At her workplace, almost everyone drove an AB or SH, and she also drove a Vision, but she never felt embarrassed when he picked her up on his old Wave, and she even said goodbye to everyone because to her, being picked up by her lover was something very precious. She never once told him to park the car to the side because she was afraid she wouldn't be taken on a new car like her friends. She also never once felt embarrassed when there were days when he was still wearing a full set of oil-covered clothes because he had just come home from work and brought her food...

It was true that he loved her, but sometimes their differences in outlook on life were also true. Because of her difficult family situation, she often planned her future life very clearly, while he was often more subjective, because his salary when he had a job was much better than hers, so he often thought he could stabilize his life. But in reality, his job was unstable, sometimes there was one, sometimes there wasn't, if he didn't plan, it would end and that eventually happened. The company that hired him suddenly dissolved, he was unemployed for several months...

However, he disappointed her again when he was too trusting and was tricked into applying for a job at a company with a bribe that was not enough for him to pawn his Wave, and in the end he had to borrow her motorbike to pawn without her knowing, just thinking of letting him run errands. The two had a big argument about it and she decided to give them some time apart...

***

She took a deep breath to look at a relationship that she once firmly believed that as long as there was warmth in the heart, everything would be fine. But sometimes differences are not for two people to compensate for each other, too big a difference can easily lead to distance that no matter how hard they try to compensate for each other, they still cannot be erased.

Le Hua Huyen Tran