Over time, the life of the Bru - Van Kieu people has changed a lot, from the way they dress to their daily habits. However, in some villages of the Bru - Van Kieu people living along the Truong Son mountain range, they still maintain the wedding ceremony, which is imbued with traditional culture and full of meaning.
According to the Bru - Van Kieu tradition, silver ingots, bronze pots, and swords are three indispensable gifts in the wedding ceremony. Photo: Thuy Hanh.
The Bru-Van Kieu people’s wedding and engagement ceremonies are both communal and enhance the status and function of clans and families. According to the Bru-Van Kieu people, when men and women reach the age of marriage, if they want to have a happy life, they must follow the customs.
Before the wedding, the groom's family must hold a "donation" ceremony and ask a reputable matchmaker to represent them. These people must be 50 years old or older and have a good understanding of customs and practices. With the agreement of both families, the groom's family will bring "donation" gifts, including: A small, delicately carved bronze box containing areca nuts, betel leaves and tobacco; a small bronze box containing lime; a wooden pipe for smoking; a shirt woven from brocade, traditionally colored, used to wrap silver or money; 2 to 3 bars of silver depending on the bride's family's price. Notably, during the "donation" ceremony, the groom's father, mother or uncle, aunt or sister-in-law will not be present, only the future groom and a close boyfriend will come. They believe that if many people attend, it will not bring luck to the young couple in the future.
On the wedding day, the groom's family brings gifts to the bride's family. The wedding gifts include 1-3 pigs or goats, 2 chickens (1 male, 1 female), 1 large bunch of ripe bananas, and 1 large jar of rice wine made by the groom's family. According to tradition, there are 3 indispensable gifts to give when taking the bride to the groom's house. They are a sword (about 60cm long), a bronze pot, and a piece of silver ingot. They believe that the sword symbolizes the strength, courage, and resilience of the Bru - Van Kieu man. They also believe that the tip and the hilt of the sword are 2 entities in one body, symbolizing the husband and wife, and once married, they will be together for a hundred years in a peaceful future. The sword is also a labor tool of the Bru - Van Kieu people. The bronze pot is also called "three pots" which means making wealth. In the pot, there is also 1 silver ingot and 5 beads, symbolizing prosperity and happiness.
The important dowry placed on the ancestral altar and indispensable in the wedding is Beng cake. They believe that Beng cake brings luck and symbolizes the eternity of love. It is also a gift of gratitude to the ancestors and gods who gave them "food and clothing". The ingredients to make Beng cake are selected from large glutinous rice grains grown on the fields and it takes a long time to make a delicious cake with the right traditional flavor. The large, sticky and fragrant glutinous rice grains are black or red in color, called "coal sticky rice", soaked in cold water for 2 to 3 hours. When the glutinous rice grains are soft, they are wrapped in dong leaves in a circle (shaped like the "don" cake of the lowlands, without filling but only sticky rice), the length of this cake is about 30cm, tightly tied with forest vines, cooked for about 2 hours to complete Beng cake.
The wedding ceremony takes place over two days, one day at the bride's house and one day at the groom's house. The groom's family's gifts of pigs and chickens are brought by the matchmaker and placed in front of the bride's house. If the bride's family agrees and accepts, the groom's family is allowed to bring them into the house and eat and chat happily all night long, waiting for the wedding ceremony the next day. After receiving the gifts, the bride's family will invite the groom's family to their house to perform the ceremony of accepting their son-in-law. According to custom, when the two families sit on the floor performing the ceremony, the hilt of the sword must be placed facing the bride's family, and the blade of the sword must be facing the groom's family.
The most important ritual on the wedding day of the Bru - Van Kieu people is the ceremony of tying a thread around the bride and groom's wrists. Sitting in the most important position, in front of the young couple are the matchmaker and the heads of the two families. The moment the thread connecting the vows and lifelong happiness of the bride and groom is tied, the wedding party officially begins. That day, the villagers also come to join in the joy with the family with items such as chicken, duck, wine, sticky rice... The bride and groom go together to share the joy with the two families by shaking hands with each person. That is also the time when the bride prepares to go to her husband's house, with the sound of drums sending off their daughter to get married from the bride's family.
The interesting and unique thing about the Bru - Van Kieu wedding is that only the bride's family is allowed to beat the drum. Because they believe that the drum sound is like a message, wishing their daughter to get married and have a good luck and soon give birth to her first child. When she arrives at the groom's house, the bride is not allowed to enter the main door, but must go through the side door to the kitchen. There, the mother-in-law welcomes her daughter-in-law, as a form of transferring the kitchen and housework to the new daughter-in-law and performs an important ceremony called the foot-washing ceremony. From that moment on, the mother-in-law will consider the new daughter-in-law as a daughter in the house, without distinction. One month after the wedding, the groom's family returns to the bride's house to redeem the sword and "three pots", depending on the bride's family's price, usually 100,000 VND (currently).
In addition to the official wedding ceremony, they also have a second wedding in their life together, which is a mandatory ceremony. The koil ceremony, called “khoi” by the Kinh people, is the second wedding ceremony that recognizes the bride as a member of the husband’s family. The second wedding is also very expensive, depending on each family’s circumstances, so there is no limit on the time and ceremony of the ceremony. Therefore, many people only perform this ceremony when they are old. However, the Bru - Van Kieu people believe that only by performing this ceremony can the couple’s life be happy and fulfilled.
Nowadays, many traditional weddings of the Bru - Van Kieu people have gradually faded away over time. They perform more simply to easily integrate into the new life. To preserve and pass on this unique cultural feature, besides the efforts of the people, it is necessary to have the attention and support of the relevant agencies.
Thuy Hanh/Border Newspaper
Source: https://baophutho.vn/le-cuoi-hoi-truyen-thong-cua-nguoi-bru-van-kieu-222845.htm
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