More than 40 years of searching for answers to the mysteries
March 8th this year was different for Mrs. Dinh Thi Lai (78 years old, from Nam Dinh, currently living in Dau Tieng, Binh Duong). She felt the joy of being with her children, especially her daughter who had been missing for 42 years and whom her family had spent so much time searching for.
As for Ms. Nguyen Thi Hong (50 years old), she no longer feels sad when she sees others busy preparing gifts or sending their best wishes to their mothers. Because since the fateful day of getting lost on November 27, 1981, March 8 this year, Ms. Hong has had a mother.
Talking about the reason why mother and children have been wandering for many years, Mrs. Lai said that she and her husband were originally from Giao Lac commune, Giao Thuy district, Nam Dinh province. In 1980, she and her husband brought their 5 children to the old Minh Hai province to do business. However, a year later, the farm was dissolved, and she and her husband took each other to make a living in a new land.
Mien Tay bus station, where many years ago Mrs. Lai lost her child (Photo: Quoc Anh).
In December 1981, the family of 7 took a bus to Mien Tay bus station (HCMC). They brought a lot of things like rice, clothes, etc. Mr. Dinh Van Lam - Mrs. Lai's husband - sat watching the children, while Mrs. Lai took her eldest daughter to the nearby market.
The mother did not know that her 7-year-old daughter, Hong, was also running after her, so when she turned around, she was stunned when her husband asked, "Is Hong going with you?"
The couple cried and cried as they searched for their son. They asked passersby and shopkeepers and were even more frightened when they heard that a few days ago a man had also lost his son at this bus station.
After searching for their children for a long time, Mrs. Lai and her husband went to the nearby police station to report but there was no information. Waiting until the next day, worried that if they stayed, their remaining children would also get lost or kidnapped, Mrs. Lai and Mr. Lam had to take a bus to Dau Tieng, Binh Duong.
Arriving in the new land, Mrs. Lai worked hard at all kinds of jobs, from planting trees, increasing production, collecting firewood, and picking bamboo shoots. Whenever she had a break or at night, her heart ached with missing her child. For three or four years, her tears almost dried up.
Having no money to look for her child, the helpless mother could only wait for information on the radio, but she listened and listened and listened, only hearing people looking for her child and no one reporting her child back.
Mrs. Lai reported the bad news to her hometown, and everyone who heard the news felt heartbroken. They felt sorry for the couple who had gone to the South to find a living, but their life had not improved yet they had to face the tragedy of losing their loved ones.
In 1984 and 1988, Mrs. Lai and her husband had two more children. Although they had many children, she never stopped thinking about "little Hong, the fairest child in the family" who unfortunately got lost at the bus station.
Mr. Lam, Mrs. Lai and their children when they were young (Photo: Organizing Committee)
For more than 40 years, questions like where did she go, is she still alive, what did she look like when she grew up, where is she now… have always been a mystery to Mrs. Lai. Her daughter was only 7 years old at that time, if she had been kidnapped and beaten, she would not have had the strength to fight back.
"Especially that day when he got lost, where did he go and in a split second he was gone. For my husband and I, that is a mystery we always want to know," Mrs. Lai told Dan Tri reporter.
According to this woman, when the economy gradually stabilized, her grandparents and children also went to many places to look for Ms. Hong. They even asked a psychic. When the psychic said that Ms. Hong was still alive and was in a social protection center in Ho Chi Minh City, Ms. Lai and her husband went to look for their child but then left in disappointment.
As a Catholic, Mr. Lam asked the priest to spread the news through the church system to find his daughter, and Mrs. Lai, for all those years, every time she went to mass, she prayed for good things for her daughter. In 2014, Mr. Lam passed away, carrying with him the anxiety of his lost daughter.
The days of sitting and crying, missing my parents, longing for a family
As for Hong, after running after her mother but not seeing her, she cried as she walked. After a while, she got lost on the main road. Only later did she realize that she had gone in the opposite direction to her parents, causing the distance between them to grow further and further.
Ms. Hong when she was young (Photo: Organizing Committee).
Seeing cars everywhere but not seeing any familiar figures, she became more and more panicked. While crossing the street, she was unfortunately hit by a car and had to be taken to the emergency room by local people.
At the hospital, when asked by the police, she said her mother's name was Nam. She also could not remember whether the name Hong was her own or was given to her by the police. Thanks to the hospital's documents, Ms. Hong learned that she had been lost on November 27, 1981.
The 7-year-old girl thought that if she just waited, one day her parents would come to pick her up. But she waited and waited for more than half a month and still did not see her parents.
She said that after being discharged from the hospital, a police officer named Nguyen Van Ba took her home to take care of her. Every day, Hong followed Mr. Ba to the police station and returned home in the afternoon. After half a month, no one came to pick her up, so she was sent to the Thi Nghe Social Protection Center (HCMC) with the name Nguyen Thi Hong, and the papers were made for her by Mr. Ba.
Every afternoon when she entered the center, she sat at the gate crying, waiting for her parents. But then, gradually, she had to accept that she had truly lost her family.
A few years later, for the convenience of her studies, Ms. Hong was transferred to Tam Binh Orphanage. When she reached adulthood, she went to learn sewing to become independent and support herself.
Ms. Hong and her husband with their children.
Because she lost her family since she was young, Ms. Hong always longed to call her mother and father. Therefore, her criteria for marriage is that the man must have both a father and a mother. Fate brought her to marry a man from Khanh Hoa, who was loved by his family. They had two children together (a boy and a girl).
Mother and daughter live only 70km apart.
After getting married, Ms. Hong lived in Di An, Binh Duong. For more than 40 years, both mother and daughter only wandered around Ho Chi Minh City and Binh Duong, 70-80km apart, but they did not know.
Many years ago, when the show As If There Had Never Been a Separation aired its first episodes, both mother and daughter submitted their applications to the show together.
Ms. Hong with her mother and loved ones.
Ms. Hong shared: "When I saw many people find their relatives through the program, I also had hope. I waited forever and thought I could not find my relatives because more than 40 years had passed. Around October 2023, I received information from the program."
Ms. Hong shared in the file a little information about the lost location, her name, the year she got lost and her mother's name was Nam. Later, she found out that her mother's name was not Nam but she had made a mistake.
In the past, many people had the habit of calling their wives by their husbands' names, so her mother was also called Lam. Due to the influence of the Nam Dinh dialect, which often confuses N and L, she remembered her mother's name as "Nam".
At the same time last October, Ms. Lai also received positive information from the family search program.
"I was asked to send my hair for a DNA test, but after waiting for more than 2 months without receiving the results, I thought it must be a mistake. In December, I received the confirmed news that my daughter had been found and I was overwhelmed with joy. At that time, I just wished my husband was still alive so I could know that my daughter was safe," Ms. Lai shared, choking with emotion.
Ms. Hong at the reunion party with her family.
Meeting her daughter at her old age was like a miracle for Mrs. Lai. The mother and daughter reminisced about the few memories of the past, telling each other about the ups and downs of the days apart. Mrs. Lai also prepared 30 banquets for Ms. Hong to meet her relatives and neighbors.
The recent Tet holiday was the happiest Tet holiday for Ms. Hong. She was able to celebrate a truly family-reunion Tet. Currently, both mother and daughter live in Binh Duong province, so Ms. Hong has many opportunities to visit and take care of her mother.
"Right now, I just pray that my mother will always be healthy to live a long life with me, my brothers, sisters, children and grandchildren," Ms. Hong expressed her wish after finding her mother.
The secret to longevity of Okinawans
Source
Comment (0)