On the last afternoon of the year, when the cold winds blow through every alley, my heart is filled with an unceasing longing for my parents. That longing seems to be heavier every time Tet comes and spring comes.
This year, Tet is even sadder, because it has been 58 years since my father left the family to enter the eternal world, and more than a year since my mother also left this world. In the days leading up to Tet, memories of my parents come flooding back like a waterfall, evoking a deep pain and an endless emptiness.
Tet without father: Half of the memory is missing forever
I was born during the fierce war years. My father passed away in 1967, when I was too young to understand the great loss. The image of my father in my memory is a tall and thin figure, a gentle smile, and calloused hands that always protected the family. My father left when the country needed him, leaving my mother to raise her children alone.
During those years, Tet in the small house was always without my father. Every time I heard the sound of firecrackers, my heart ached as I saw my mother sitting quietly by the altar, her eyes filled with tears. There were nights when my mother stayed up all night, as if she was silently talking to my father through the smoke of incense. Each of my mother’s prayers was a longing, a wish sent to the deceased.
That memory, even though decades have passed, is still deeply engraved in my heart. When I grew up, I realized the loss that my family had suffered. My father was not only the pillar of the family but also the pride and spiritual support for my mother and us.
Losing Mother: Spring is No Longer Complete
Last year, my mother also left us to reunite with my father in a faraway place. The pain of losing my mother was like a knife cutting deep into my soul. If my father's departure was a dull pain that lasted throughout my childhood, then my mother's departure was the pain that made me collapse in my old age.
This year, the house is still cleaned, the food tray is still full, but without my mother, Tet suddenly becomes bland and soulless. I miss my mother's figure working hard day and night to prepare banh chung and pickled onions; I miss my mother's hands wrapping each cake with complete love. Mother is the soul of warm Tet, the one who connects all generations in the family.
When my mother was alive, no matter how busy I was with work, I always tried to come home early. Seeing my mother sitting by the fire, telling old stories, I felt strangely peaceful. Now that my mother is gone, the kitchen is cold, and the stories have disappeared with her.
Last Afternoon of the Year: Longing for Parents
This afternoon, as I sat before the altar, looking at my parents’ portraits, a feeling of emptiness suddenly welled up in my heart. Tears fell silently, like a voice that could not be expressed in words. Perhaps, when my parents were still alive, I did not cherish every moment with them enough. Now, no matter what I want to do to make up for it, it is just impossible.
I remember every word my father taught me, every loving look from my mother. I remember the Tet holidays when we were poor but filled with love. Every cake, every cup of tea my mother put on the tray was a world of sacrifice and boundless love.
On the last afternoon of the year, looking at the bustling crowd of people shopping for Tet, I secretly wished I could turn back time, return to the days when my parents were still alive. Even though it was a simple meal, a Tet lacking in food, as long as my parents were by my side, everything became warm and complete.
This Tet without my parents, I understand even more that time is extremely precious, but it passes quickly like water. Parents are the source, the solid spiritual support, the place where the heart returns to when in doubt. Losing my parents, I feel like I have lost a part of my soul, a part of spring that will never return.
Even though I know life is impermanent, I still can’t help but think of my parents every time Tet comes. I just hope that, in that faraway place, my parents have met again and still watch over and protect me like they did when I was a child. And even though my parents are no longer here this Tet, I will still live, love, and cherish the family values that my parents have nurtured.
Tet without parents, spring is not complete. But in my memory, parents will forever be the most beautiful spring, the light that guides me in the remaining days of my life. Tet comes, spring returns, the scenery changes color, but there are memories that will never change. That is the memory of parents - the source of love that time or distance cannot erase.
Source: https://giadinhonline.vn/noi-nho-khong-cua-rieng-ai-d204339.html
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