Adjusting tradition to adapt
In the speech of General Secretary Nguyen Phu Trong at the National Cultural Conference on November 24, 2021, the General Secretary said: "The family value system includes 4 core values: prosperity, happiness, progress, and civilization". Could you please tell us whether these core values are of equal value, and are they in order of importance?
Associate Professor, Dr. Bui Hoai Son: I think these values can be divided into two groups. A prosperous and happy family provides a stable, trustworthy and safe environment for its members, helping everyone feel secure, confident and able to focus on their own development as well as support each other. Meanwhile, a progressive and civilized family helps build positive values, rules and ideas in society. This helps maintain traditions and at the same time adjust family traditions to adapt to changes in the times.
The requirement of having both boys and girls, which used to be an important criterion for a model family, is no longer as influential as before.
I think that is also the reason why General Secretary Nguyen Phu Trong emphasized these guiding values at the National Cultural Conference. I believe that these four values have a dialectical relationship with each other and should be considered important and similar to each other. Each value has its own role in shaping and building a happy family.
You just talked about maintaining tradition and adjusting family traditions to adapt. Can you share more about this?
We are witnessing the gradual collapse of many traditional family models. For example, the requirement of having both a boy and a girl, which was once an important criterion for a model family, is no longer as influential as before. The preference for boys and girls that led to the deliberate choice to have sons has now also led to a gender imbalance due to the lack of girls. More and more people see the "family model of both boys and girls" as a toxic model.
Another notion that the husband must earn more money than his wife is also gradually changing.
Should we intervene with policies to make those traditional family models "collapse" faster, sir?
In my opinion, we should start from the realization that if we accept and support the concept of gender equality in society, the ideology of male superiority and female inferiority must also be eliminated from family life.
We are also seeing many young people choosing not to get married and still live a carefree and happy life. Is this contrary to the family values of "prosperity, happiness, progress, and civilization" that the General Secretary has stated, sir?
I see many young people who are not married, some are single and raise children. That is their personal choice and they are responsible for their lifestyle. But it is true that, in terms of society and the nation as a whole, we still need complete families that reflect all the messages of prosperity, happiness, progress, and civilization. That should also be considered a common orientation for everyone.
Associate Professor, Dr. Bui Hoai Son
Respect for diversity of opinion and individual freedom
There are more and more demands for expanding the legal framework for family issues. For example, the right to marry is also a matter that LGBT people are looking forward to. What do you think about this?
Associate Professor, Dr. Bui Hoai Son
These demands are not only related to the law but also to ethics, not only to the present but also to the future, not only to a small group but to the overall story of social governance in general. This pressure is not only in Vietnam but also in many countries around the world, also reflecting the interests and diversity of communities.
Recently, National Assembly delegate Nguyen Anh Tri (Hanoi delegation) proposed the Gender Identity Law related to the transgender rights of citizens, which is also related to the family. The more specific and progressive the law is to create a corridor to protect transgender people, the more comfortable it will be for them, helping them avoid discrimination and reducing the psychological pressure (if any) on their families.
Facing pressure to expand the legal framework for the family is a challenge for legislative bodies, because of the diversity of views and values in society. In the process of discussion, it is important to respect the diversity of views and personal freedoms, while ensuring equality and protection of the rights of all people, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, religion or other origin.
Cultural management has two areas: lifestyle and family. But both of these areas are facing generational conflicts, even fierce conflicts that can easily lead to family breakdown. In your opinion, what can the cultural sector do, how should it be combined to create a culture of humane behavior in the family itself, eliminating generational conflicts?
The cultural sector can coordinate with relevant agencies to create family education and counseling programs such as courses on conflict management, effective communication, and family problem-solving skills. The sector can also support family activities to promote intergenerational bonding and interaction such as sports, arts, and family games for them to participate in and learn about each other.
The industry can also proactively create "family models" for this period through works of art. It is easy to see that the mother-in-law - daughter-in-law relationship on television is also like a "mirror" for harsh mothers-in-law to look at themselves and correct their behavior.
However, I still think that building a lifestyle and family needs to be a common effort of the whole society. For example, in addition to cultural institutions, health care institutions for the elderly and children also help families reduce pressure to be happier. The cultural sector must play a central role in connecting and proposing specific initiatives for a prosperous, happy, progressive, and civilized Vietnamese family.
Thank you!
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