As children grow up, parents will gradually discover that their previously obedient and understanding children seem to start to become more "rebellious". In particular, some parents may be surprised to discover that their 6-7 year old children have begun to rebel against their parents.
But in fact, these "rebellious" expressions are actually barriers and failures in communication between parents and children. They are using a special way to send a "distress signal" to parents.
01.
Children's "strange" sayings
Recently, a friend of mine has been having a headache over her child's problem. Her relationship with her son used to be very harmonious, but recently they often can't talk to each other patiently. The child always says: "Mom won't..." which makes her feel very hurt.
During the last summer vacation, she wanted to know more about her son's summer vacation plans. But unexpectedly, her son only coldly replied with one sentence: "My classmates are going ice skating, anyway, Mom won't let me go anywhere, it's best if Mom doesn't ask anymore."
Their conversation ended in such a "brusque" manner.
As a mother, she felt very disappointed with her son's attitude. Thinking so, she went into her son's room to ask why he said that. But her son only replied indifferently: "It's all my fault, it's all my fault again."
This time, my friend felt that the matter seemed more serious. She began to doubt whether she had scolded her child for no reason? Had she accidentally framed her child?
These "rebellious" expressions are actually barriers and failures in communication between parents and children. (Illustration photo)
Some children are always proactive in admitting mistakes, while others push the blame onto others.
There was a controversial video on the internet, a female student and her mother were riding the subway together. While her mother was carrying things, the daughter was leisurely stuffing her hands in her pockets. But when she got off at a nearby station, the girl realized she had gotten off at the wrong station, so she angrily kicked her mother and blamed her: "It's all your fault, Mom!"
This is a typical manifestation of ignorance and lack of independence.
02
How to understand children's "angry speech"?
When hearing their children say "angry words", any parent will feel angry, but before getting angry, try to calm down and think carefully about the real reason behind these words of children.
"Mom won't let me go anyway"
When a child says, "You won't let me go anyway," a parent's first reaction may be disappointment or anger, feeling that their child has absolutely no confidence in himself.
But we need to understand that behind this statement is a hidden helplessness and expectation in the child's heart. The child wants to do something, but because of being rejected so many times in the past, they have lost faith that their parents can open up to their wishes.
This "anyway..." expression is a self-protective device, intended to avoid being rejected again and feeling hurt again.
When children say these words, parents need to stay calm and patiently communicate with their children to understand their true thoughts. You can try to positively explain what your children want, ask them if they really want to go, and tell them that you are willing to consider their opinions. Such a response can gradually rebuild your children's trust in you.
When hearing their children say "angry words", any parent will feel angry (Illustration photo)
"It's all my fault"
Saying “it’s all my fault” may seem like a child is taking the initiative to admit their mistake, but in reality, it could be a sign of defensiveness on the child’s part. After all, they have been yelled at many times in similar situations before.
They think that no matter how they explain, they will still be blamed and will still have to admit their mistake. So children use this way to end the conversation.
In this situation, parents need to pay more attention to their children's psychology, proactively communicate with them and give them the opportunity to explain.
In this way, parents can help children rebuild their awareness of right and wrong, avoiding children falling into negative moods.
"It's all because of mom"
“It's all my fault” is how children express their feelings when they fail. When they feel helpless or frustrated, they often blame others, usually their parents.
For example, when getting off at the wrong bus stop, the child will be upset because of his mistake, but does not want to admit it and blames his parents. This action shows that the child has difficulty taking responsibility.
If your child often says this, parents need to check to see if they have given their child enough autonomy. Let your child solve his or her own problems appropriately, such as waking up on time in the morning to get ready for school, preparing his or her own school supplies, etc.
By increasing children's independence, parents can help them learn to take responsibility for their actions, rather than just blaming others.
03
When children send out "distress signals", how should parents react?
When children frequently use the above three phrases, they are most likely sending their parents a distress signal. At this time, parents need to ignore their children's "rebellious" label to listen to their hearts and understand their children's emotional needs.
First, parents need to stay calm, not immediately get angry when their children say these words, but try to understand the true thoughts behind their children. In the words of children, there may be hidden helplessness, confusion and expectations from parents.
When children send out "distress signals", parents need to react appropriately. (Illustration photo)
Next, parents need to give their children space. Too much control and intervention can cause children to react, so letting go appropriately not only helps children feel trusted by their parents, but also helps foster their independence.
Finally, parents need to pay more attention to their children's mental health. When children express emotions and often use negative words, parents need to promptly intervene, guide and direct their children in the right direction, helping them overcome difficulties in expressing emotions.
Winter
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/neu-thuong-xuyen-noi-3-cau-nay-nghia-la-tre-dang-co-van-de-ve-tam-ly-cha-me-dung-bo-lo-tin-hieu-dau-kho-cua-con-172240919161033531.htm
Comment (0)