Mai, 13 years old from Hanoi, was brought to the clinic by her parents after a long time of locking herself in her room and not playing with her neighborhood friends like before. In particular, she often found excuses to go to school early. At first, the family thought Mai came to class early to play with her friends, but after observing her, they discovered that she just sat in class reading books and not communicating with anyone.
Her breasts were more developed than her friends', so the girl used a towel to tie them up for fear of being gossiped about. (Illustration photo)
For the past year, her bust has grown very quickly, much more than her classmates, so Mai is very embarrassed. During the summer extra classes, Mai's friends often noticed and talked about her "abnormally large" bust. The 13-year-old girl felt ashamed of being different from everyone else and kept to herself.
"Every morning I wake up 1 hour earlier, using a piece of cloth to wrap tightly around my chest so that my chest doesn't look too different from my friends '," Mai said, adding that the reason she goes to school early every day is because there are few people in the class at that time, so no one notices or gossips.
As Mai's psychologist, Master, Clinical Psychologist Nguyen Hong Bach (MP Institute of Applied and Developmental Psychology) shared that when her parents brought her to the clinic, Mai initially refused to share. Only when her parents left did the female student dare to confide in her about the worries she was facing.
Cases like Mai's are quite common in adolescents, in medicine it is called a psychological mutation syndrome, always thinking of themselves as different from others so trying to find ways to change. Doctor Bach explained and advised parents on how to support their children in a timely manner, avoiding letting them fall into a state of depression, anxiety, affecting their studies.
Many children, after a summer of growing "abnormally" taller, feel out of place when they meet their friends at school and always want to hide their physical differences. In many cases, parents are proud that their children are taller than other children without understanding their feelings.
Children at this age are very sensitive. Without proper sharing and care, they can isolate themselves from relationships, lock themselves up, be afraid to communicate, become withdrawn, and this can affect their psychology and learning.
The male doctor said that puberty is a period when children have many unstable problems, because in addition to cognitive development, changes in appearance can easily cause psychological trauma in children, affecting their lives and studies. If parents talk to their children with incorrect information, they will not trust them.
Nowadays, children have easy access to information online. Therefore, parents must equip themselves with knowledge to talk to their children. Teachers should also be “friends” accompanying children at this stage, especially paying attention to their words so as not to hurt children, making them more self-conscious about their physical differences and falling deeper into psychological traps.
The psychologist recommends that with problems like Mai's and children who are "traumatized" by changes in their bodies during puberty in general, parents should pay attention to the following four things:
- Parents need to have a correct and specific understanding of gender and their child's development, and at the same time know how to help their children thoroughly understand the problem and accept their own changes and development.
- Don't pry into your child because this behavior violates their privacy and will only make them withdraw.
- Do not try to restrain your child's development. Some parents are afraid that their child will go through puberty early and develop too quickly, so they try every way to restrain their child's development, including hormone injections. This should not be done because it will have long-term effects on the child. Medication must be prescribed by a doctor.
- Avoid imposing or always forbidding children. For children who are influenced by different streams of thought, leading to deviations in thoughts and ideas, parents should initially accept, create trust and comfort for their children, and then gradually orient them. Immediate prohibition will create more serious trauma for the future.
Tuan Kiet
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