Getting married: The burden or happiness is up to us

Love or marriage will be happy or a burden depending on each person's mindset when entering that relationship - Photo: C.TRIEU

With the comments of the readers below, the forum temporarily closes and believes that the journey to find happiness will still be the goal of each of us. Because no matter what, family is still the place to return to after the hardships of life.

Happiness or burden does not lie in starting a family, but more deeply, it is whether you have the patience to love, the endurance to overcome and together reach the peak of marital happiness.

Reader TAN KHOI

After all, whether someone is successful or not in life is not necessarily because they are single or married. What matters is whether we are satisfied and ready to take responsibility for our choices.

Reader HAO THIEN

Love Pledge

When announcing that they are getting married, many people are jokingly told that they are "about to be put in handcuffs". Committing to someone means committing to love and be faithful for life, which means responsibility in the relationship between the two people and many other relationships that follow with family and children.

Becoming a parent means adjusting to many things, changing your habits, and certainly living more responsibly, not being carefree like before. Of course, everyone has their own choices that suit them. In fact, many young people today worship individualism too much, finding it "fun to be alone" so they join that lifestyle.

But when you have not experienced the happiness of love, marriage or do not have the courage to face the storms that will arise in a marital relationship, as parents, please do not rush to promote a single lifestyle. It cannot be denied that to enter married life, to be able to get along with someone, you must be patient. The ring that two people wear for each other can also be seen as the key to preserving love, family, as a reminder to each other to be patient "when the rice boils, reduce the fire".

When I think about getting married, I think of climbing a mountain. It’s not easy to climb each rock, to bend down and climb the high steps. Sometimes to continue, you have to take a break, take a deep breath before continuing. But how happy will you feel when you reach the top, before seeing the view from above.

Entering married life, think of it as climbing a mountain. There will be times when it seems difficult to breathe, but that hundred-year bond is still a goal that if not experienced, it will be a shortcoming for many people, except for exceptions. When choosing to shoulder the burden together, I believe that building a home is to share the happiness of life together. Climbing a mountain with a companion who understands you, you will find that the distance is not too tiring. And the same goes for marriage!

So whether it is heterosexual or homosexual love, sharing rice and cooking with the person you love, even though there are happy and sad times, is still a great lesson that everyone should experience.

TAN KHOI

I want to live single my way

A friend of mine who lives in Korea told me that young people here are following the 3K trend (no socializing, no dating, and no marriage). The pressure of life and countless obligations after marriage make many young people hesitate, choosing to give up getting married to enjoy their own lives. This trend reflects the mindset of many young people today.

As a woman in my 30s, I still have no intention of getting married. My parents are quite impatient and often urge me to go on blind dates to get married soon. But after several short-lived relationships, I understand why I choose to stay single, ignoring the criticism because I want to live freely the way I hope.

Ever since I decided to be single, I have been mentally prepared to overcome the gossip of others. Many people have the habit of judging others and sometimes being single is something shameful. I know there are people who have not found a suitable partner but have rushed into marriage despite the gossip of many people around.

Being single is not a shame, it does not mean you fail in any relationship. Instead of feeling self-conscious and afraid of being pitied, being single brings many mental and physical benefits to each person. My personal experience after ending a long-term relationship, I focused on my personal life, fulfilling my own desires without depending on anyone's opinion.

I focus on work, spend time exercising, and meditate. These things help me balance my mind, and my spiritual life gradually becomes more comfortable. In my free time, I explore nature, go to new lands, and meet new friends. Before, when I was in love, I often fell into a state of anxiety, doubting the other person's feelings for me, and even had negative thoughts.

Many people agree that single women tend to think more positively and optimistically than married women. Being single makes it easier for me to find and change freelance jobs because I am less tied down by family, and work more proactively, diligently and sustainably.

I was always taught a lot about the duties and responsibilities of a woman. It's good to know that, but if that's the case, my life would just be a series of tasks set by others. I have to go to university, get a job, get married, have children... and if I don't do well in any step, I will immediately receive a lot of criticism and advice from others.

I feel fine now, instead of trying to push myself into an adventure in marriage.

Despite many burdens I still feel happy

Perhaps witnessing the increasing number of broken marriages today makes many young people more hesitant about starting a family. There will be obstacles, barriers, and the door to marriage requires each person to reconcile their personal ego to build a solid family. But what if we find the right soul mate in our life.

Since falling in love and getting married, I have seen myself change for the better. Living next to a husband who is nearly ten years older than me, I have gradually suppressed my hot-tempered and impulsive nature.

He worked in the army, so from the time we fell in love until we returned home, my children and I were alone on most holidays and Tet. But loving him made me love his job and the sacred mission he was shouldering even more. Gradually abandoning my sometimes narrow-minded thinking, I opened my heart to understand and share, so our marriage bond became stronger and stronger.

Of course, it is difficult to avoid pressure in married life because of many things, raising children is not easy. Arguing and then making up helps us understand and love each other more. But even though it is a burden and pressure, having a warm home to return to after the hustle and bustle of work in society is still happiness for many people.

There is the innocent laughter of children, the warm hands of a partner. And when sitting together at a simple meal, we can feel the happiness that is being cultivated and built together.

CAM GIANG (Bac Lieu)

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/lap-gia-dinh-ganh-nang-hay-hanh-phuc-la-do-ta-ca-20240308232418735.htm