“I wish my father were still alive to apologize to Vietnam”

Mr. Craig McNamara (third from left) with a Vietnamese conical hat - Photo: PV

The appointment time kept shifting, I contacted from 11am, 12pm, until 1pm, my phone rang, the cheerful voice of a reporter in the crew: "The crew just finished filming in the morning, they are taking a lunch break at Song Chieu buffalo meat restaurant, you can come now".

I drove my wife to go with me. When I left, I told her to bring a Vietnamese conical hat with a green lotus leaf and purple lotus flower that she had drawn, along with the words “Peaceful every step” with a Buddhist feel and a wish for peace to give to Mr. Craig McNamara. In the airy, cool, rustic, yet poetic space of the Song Chieu buffalo meat restaurant on the banks of the clear Hieu River, the group was having a happy lunch, seemingly forgetting the fatigue of the long journey. When the group finished lunch, my wife and I gave Mr. Craig McNamara a Vietnamese conical hat and then talked openly with him, because although I had never met him, I had “known” about him through the information highway.

His father, Roberts S. McNamara, after nearly 30 years of silence since leaving the Pentagon, wrote the book “Looking Back: The Tragedy and Lessons of Vietnam” (translated and published by the National Political Publishing House, Hanoi in 1995), admitting: “We were in the Kennedy and Johnson administrations, participating in decisions about Vietnam... But we were wrong, terribly wrong”. His father also said: “Vietnam and my involvement there deeply affected my family, but I do not go into the impact of that on my family and myself”.

Regarding the "profound effects" of the Vietnam War on his family that US Secretary of Defense Roberts S. McNamara did not go into, Mr. Craig McNamara dared to analyze and explain in depth through his book "Because our fathers lied - A memoir of truth and family, from Vietnam to today" published in the US in 2022 and the Vietnamese version is about to be published through Tre Publishing House, Ho Chi Minh City. I asked as if to catch his emotions:

- Please tell us your feelings when coming to Quang Tri, the land that suffered much pain during the war and is the place where the McNamara electronic fence is named after your father?

Being properly channeled, the inner stream of his heart, which had been struggling through many difficult rapids and waterfalls for years, just flowed out:

-This is the second time I have been to Quang Tri and seen the McNamara electronic fence. This second time, I have learned much more than the first time. And I have read the information in advance to better understand the failure of the McNamara electronic fence. My father is a very good at calculating. He can give results as if he had a calculator in his head without using a real computer. He thought that during the Vietnam War, he could use his mind to calculate numbers to win against Vietnam. And the results showed that his approach was wrong. He realized that he was wrong but he never apologized or did anything to correct that mistake. I wish my father were still alive to go to Quang Tri and Da Nang to see the consequences of war and contribute to helping the victims or solving the consequences of mines left behind.

I also wish he was still alive so he could come back here with the American veterans to apologize to Vietnam that I was wrong, I regret what I did. And today I am here, as an individual, I want to send you an apology. I am just an individual, I do not represent my country to apologize, but between people, I still want to send you a sincere apology - Mr. Craig McNamara turned to point at the lotus blooming on the Vietnamese conical hat my wife gave him, his voice filled with emotion - just as she wrote on this hat: "Peaceful every step". I hope that every step we take will lead to peace.

The author (right) talks with Mr. Craig McNamara - Photo: NH

I excitedly thanked him and shook his hand firmly, then continued the conversation:

- Earlier, you said that Mr. McNamara was good at thinking about numbers and technology, then realized that thinking during the Vietnam War, with the McNamara electronic fence was wrong. So why was it wrong? What factors led to the wrong thinking about numbers and technology?

- For example, counting dead bodies in war. Tactically, he relied on counting bodies, meaning the more dead people, the better. That is not applied correctly - Mr. Craig analyzed as a "Vietnamologist" - he did not understand that Ho Chi Minh and the Vietnamese people were willing to sacrifice everything to gain independence and freedom. He thought that counting bodies, if it showed too many casualties, would discourage the Vietnamese side. But he did not know the historical and cultural factor of the Vietnamese people, which is that they are willing to pay the price to gain independence and freedom.

- It is known that you wrote a book about your father published in the US in 2022, the Vietnamese version is about to be published. Could you please tell us if you want to introduce this book in Quang Tri? If not this year, maybe next year and we are ready to coordinate with you to introduce this book in Quang Tri, where there is the McNamara electronic fence. Can we meet and organize an introduction of this book in 2026?

- I thank you for your kindness and if I have the chance, I will come back. We all work together for peace, not only for Vietnam and the US but also in the world.

From a young age, Mr. Craig McNamara had early sympathy for Vietnam, early opposition to the American war in Vietnam. At that time, in his room, he hung an American flag, but he hung it upside down and he hung a flag of the National Liberation Front of South Vietnam. Reminding him of this, I asked:

- How did you understand Vietnam so early? Did you read books and newspapers to help you make an early judgment and understand Vietnam?

- Because when I was a child, many teachers and professors in school had a correct understanding of the war in Vietnam and told me about Vietnam's history, not only the time of fighting against the French and the Americans, but also the thousand years of Chinese domination and the cultural traits of the Vietnamese people. From there I understood. When they said and taught like that, I agreed.

Then, I asked a question that had been deeply aching in his heart for a long time:

- When Mr. Robert S. McNamara was preparing to build the electronic fence, did he and his father often confide and talk to each other?

- You are a father, right? You have your own children. He is also a father and has children. He thinks that, as a father, if he makes decisions that affect the lives of millions of people, he will find it very difficult to talk about it with his children. I tried to ask him about the war, but there seemed to be an invisible wall between us and he never shared anything.

The Vietnamese have a saying: “A son who is better than his father is a blessing to the family”. Mr. Craig McNamara has gone further than his father. He has apologized to Vietnam (even though he was not at fault), but his father has not. In his book, his father quoted the words of the ancient Greek playwright Aeschylus: “The reward for suffering is experience”.

Yes, great Greek playwright, the bloody experience of humanity is to maintain Peace with peaceful steps, like the steps we took to find each other, this afternoon, in a flower village called An Lac, on the banks of the gentle Hieu River!

Nguyen Hoan

Source: https://baoquangtri.vn/toi-uoc-gia-nhu-cha-toi-con-song-de-xin-loi-viet-nam-192422.htm