Open your heart to be friends with students

Teachers should treat students like their own children.

As a matter of course, parents at home still instinctively admonish and comfort their children. No matter how spoiled or depraved the child in front of them is, any parent is willing to forgive, embrace and protect their own children. And is it possible that teachers do not truly see their students as their own children, to be patient and tolerant, persistent and forgiving of their mistakes?

School age is likened to "first devil, second ghost, third student". Not because of lack of food but still find ways to steal guava, mango then happily show off to each other, share. Not because of hunger but still secretly chew on a piece of cake, suck on a candy under the table and nervously worry about being discovered by teachers. Not the "big brother" or "big sister" in school but suddenly one day when encountering a provocative look or arrogant attitude of a classmate, suddenly "heroic blood" comes out, rushing to wrestle with each other...

Not only imparting knowledge, teachers can consider students as their own children.

The foolishness of school age, the naughtiness of puberty, the impetuosity of youth need to be understood and sympathized with by us adults. Sometimes even the children themselves do not know why in that moment, at that time, their "hot blood" boils up and they rush to hit their friends, argue with their teachers like that. After going through a period of crisis in perception and behavior, children will naturally discover where they went wrong, what behavior caused harm to others... The important thing is that we give children the opportunity to realize their mistakes, the conditions to change and correct their mistakes.

The more modern life becomes, the more open the virtual world becomes. Good things spread slowly while bad things are more easily exposed to children, so children need more than ever quality care from their parents to accompany them to grow up safely. And children need love and sharing from teachers to support, guide and guide them to grow up firmly.

"Human nature is inherently good", no child is truly naughty, stubborn, obstinate, or arrogant without a hidden reason behind it. That personality, that behavior, that defiant attitude all originate from deep instability in the child's mind, from intense crises in the child's soul, and also from the impact of a broken family, from the discriminatory and contemptuous eyes of peers...

In contact with students, listening to the stories behind the stories of parents or teachers in the local workplace, we encountered countless sad pieces about a child's sudden change for the worse, explaining the reckless behavior of the students, making us feel pity, pity and endless concern.

There was a student who was a model class monitor who suddenly skipped school and ran away. When his mother escorted him to the classroom door, he sat slumped on the desk, not caring about studying. At the climax, the male student even yelled at the teacher and calmly picked up his bag and left the classroom. After the reminders and threats had no effect, I caught his sad eyes looking out the window.

Asking around the class, I found out that her parents had just completed the divorce proceedings, she lived with her mother and it seemed that the mother's bitterness and resentment towards her husband turned into nagging and scolding words that were constantly poured out on her growing son. A broken home, a broken family is a deep pain, now she is about to get bogged down by the wrong behavior of adults. Deciding to meet the mother to confide as two friends and then finding an opportunity to talk to the student, asking for more close friends in the class to care and lift her spirit is the only way I can help my student gradually overcome the shock and become a student.

Understanding students' family circumstances

There are much more difficult cases where parents’ bad example influences children’s violent behavior. I was shocked to see that every week a student was involved in hitting this friend, tripping that friend, or pushing that friend down. Receiving a phone call from a parent complaining about their child being bullied, I contacted the child’s parents and learned about the difficult family situation of a student with a strong personality: A father who was often drunk and often beat his children, and a mother who had left home with a man in the neighborhood…

Teachers need to learn about students' family circumstances to understand them better.

ILLUSTRATION: DAO NGOC THACH

Asking more students in the class, I learned that the children often denigrate their friends with harsh phrases: "the drunkard's son", "the village-destroying demon"... I was startled by the way the children used harsh words to throw at their friends. The children are not at fault in the story of adults, but the indifferent and cruel behavior of the surrounding crowd can completely sink an individual into the abyss of continuous mistakes. And I tried to suppress my ego instead of harshly punishing the students like before.

The chats with that student took place more often, the compliments about planting trees, taking care of flower beds or assigning some tasks such as turning off the fan and lights in the classroom, along with my thanks, made his voice soften. Pretending to ask him to go to the Team room to get the class notebook, I told my classmates to sympathize with his situation, absolutely avoid criticizing, sneering and causing animosity. I also asked the parents of some of the "ringleader" students to advise and remind their children...

Teaching and disciplining a child who is trying to act indifferent to life is really hard work. But when teachers give enough love, they will receive a precious gift of teacher-student relationship. Changing their perspective on children's unusual behavior, understanding the cause and finding more positive solutions to discipline them, maybe teachers will be able to reform the student who is giving you headaches every day because of constantly violating school rules... Teachers should open their hearts to be friends with their students.

Thanh Nien Newspaper opens forum "Civilized behavior in schools"

In response to the controversial behavior of students and teachers at class 7C of Van Phu Secondary School (Van Phu Commune, Son Duong District, Tuyen Quang Province), Thanh Nien Online opened a forum: "Civilized behavior in schools" with the hope of receiving shares, experiences, recommendations, and opinions from readers to have a complete and comprehensive view; helping teachers, students, and parents have civilized and appropriate behavior in the current school environment.

Readers can send articles and comments to thanhniengiaoduc@thanhnien.vn. Articles selected for publication will receive royalties according to regulations. Thank you for participating in the forum "Civilized behavior in schools".

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