12 year old daughter 3 years accompanying transgender father

"What I enjoy most about raising children is how they come into this world as dreamers. They remind us adults of the infinite possibilities of life and dare to dream again for ourselves."

That is what a father and mother - Jade Phoenix (USA) shared about her daughter.

Jade Phoenix was born a man and had a normal life like any other man: falling in love, getting married, having children. However, life always has unpredictable surprises.

Even though he had a child, Jade still longed to live as his true self. So he decided to change gender and importantly, he wanted his little daughter to also witness the changes in her father.

“From the very beginning of my fatherhood journey, I felt the unique, joyful, and enlightening relationship between parent and child. So much so that I decided to revisit my daughter’s early years. But what’s more special is that they were also the early years of my life as a different person,” Jade Phoenix shared.

After nearly 3 years of documenting the process of change in all aspects from family, gender, daughter's childhood and parenthood, Jade Phoenix has a short documentary called "How to Make a Rainbow"...

Jade Phoenix has transitioned and is always accompanied by her daughter.

Fatherhood at 30

Jade Phoenix's daughter was born in 2012. However, when her daughter Alaizah was just 1 year old, Jade Phoenix and his girlfriend decided to break up.

The two agreed to raise their daughter together instead of being partners. While taking care of their daughter, and having to live with the great responsibility of being both father and mother, Jade Phoenix began to discover her "strange identity".

“For the first time in my life, I was immersed in the gay community. Not only did I learn a lot about parenting, but I also felt confident about being a transgender woman,” Jade Phoenix shared.

Jade Phoenix with her daughter.

Once in a lifetime opportunity

Jade Phoenix began her transition in 2014. This was a time when transgender stories were not widely told in the media.

Faced with the difficult decision and the criticism from society, Jade Phoenix said: “Even as the story of transgender people becomes more widely known to the public, it often begins with hurt and pain - not joy, happiness and love. As a writer, poet, storyteller and now a mother, I knew I had to take the leap.”

So from 2015 to 2018, Jade Phoenix and her daughter, along with their friend Ryan Maxey — an independent documentary filmmaker and award-winning director — captured some of the defining moments of change.

The purpose of filming the footage is to show the relationship between parents and children in the process of change, and at the same time inspire the story of a father transitioning to a mother.

"How to Get a Rainbow" chronicles her three-year transition journey and premiered at Aspen Shortsfest in April 2019.

Jade Phoenix began her gender transition in 2014.

Unforgettable moments

Jade Phoenix shared that the most difficult thing about her transition was explaining to her daughter and loved ones.

When her father decided to transition, his daughter Alaizah was in kindergarten and just beginning to form her own worldview. It was not easy for a child to understand that her father was gradually transforming into her mother.

Jade Phoenix and her father have had many conversations about whether their daughter will call Jade Phoenix mom or dad and what it means to be transgender.

One of the more difficult conversations Jade Phoenix had about her journey was with her biological family, and how they took the news of Jade’s transition. It was not easy for his parents to accept that their son had suddenly “turned” into a woman after falling in love with a girl and having a child.

“I can’t say for sure that she understood the nuances of all these complex emotional situations at the time. But I knew that by sharing these conversations with her, I was truly becoming a mother and giving her the opportunity to practice empathy with her loved ones,” Jade Phoenix confided in her film.

Jade Phoenix also said the most memorable moment while filming was when the father and daughter went to Alaizah's school and read some children's books about transgender people to the children in her kindergarten class.

Jade Phoenix always takes time to talk to her daughter to help her understand the changes in her father.

Children can accept and understand

What surprised Jade was how quickly her daughter learned and adapted, even at such a young age. Alaizah and her classmates were able to grasp the concepts of gender and were excited about her father's transition. The daughter completely accepted and understood her father's decision, while adults often find it difficult to do the same with transgender people.

“You're never too old to dream, and I'm so grateful that my daughter is always there to remind me of this truth,” added Jade Phoenix.

To this day, throughout the 12 years of raising her daughter, father and then mother Jade Phoenix always feel grateful for her own courage. It helps Jade understand more about the value of family, appreciate the relationships between members and most of all, the hardships that women have to go through when giving birth and raising a child.

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