Marriage is fundamentally unpredictable.

Scene from the movie "Finding a wife for Grandma"

My parents have been together for over 50 years. Now that they are both old, I can say that they have had a happy marriage, although I have witnessed many seemingly irreconcilable conflicts on their post-marriage journey.

When I started working, many of my friends also got married and most of them broke up halfway. Some couples even had legal problems with each other to resolve the issues of divorce.

Reflecting on the stories of my parents and friends whose marriages broke down, I realized that one thing can be said to be the indicator of a successful or failed marriage story: that is love.

"Who am I marrying for? What do I think when marrying someone?" These are very easy questions to answer for a couple who truly have strong love. But the same question for someone who wants to get married for other reasons such as: economic, being single for too long, wanting to have grandchildren for parents, or even wanting to "experience" married life, then answering the above questions convincingly is not simple at all.

Trust me, when you and your partner are very much in love, marriage is something you both always aim for, regardless of reason.

Life after marriage is always stormy.

Married life is like the cycle of life, with ups and downs, happy and sad times - Photo: QUANG DINH

My wife and I knew each other for 3 years before deciding to get married. 3 years is not a long time, but it is not a short time to understand a person, understand yourself and the feelings you have for each other.

I decided to get married for the happiness of both of us, and if you ask me if I thought about anything further around the decision to get married, I can only answer that I just thought that if one day we broke up, it would mean that one of us no longer loved the other, and if we broke up for that reason, it would be reasonable.

When you live with your parents, there are still conflicts, even tensions. Therefore, if someone is said to be attached to another stranger, under the covenant of marriage and clinging to the reason of "love" as the basis for a long-term bond, this is a decision that must be understood as only relative.

Life after marriage is always full of ups and downs. Even when coming together with true love, the ups and downs of marriage still make the "parties" feel lost, so it is understandable that loveless marriages often break up halfway.

Married life is not always rosy and not completely gray, not "shackles" as many people think. Married life is like the cycle of life, sometimes up, sometimes down, sometimes happy, sometimes sad. Sometimes there is boundless happiness but sometimes there is also extreme suffering.

With marriage, you can't calculate this or that.

Ask couples who have been together for life about this story and you will see that marriage is not always negative as many people think, but it is life.

Deciding to get married is a big step in everyone's life. However, if someone keeps trying to answer the questions about whether to get married or not, then it's time to stop. Marriage is not a game of chance that someone can calculate this or that, because marriage and its aftermath are basically... unpredictable.

However, there are very precious things that married life brings. That is joy, the further maturity of each person regardless of whether that married life is strong or ends unexpectedly.

Don't be too rational in deciding whether to marry someone or not. Ask your heart what it wants. Whatever makes you happy, do it.

Have you ever asked yourself "who am I marrying for, what do I think when marrying someone"? What do you care about most before building your own small family? And what are the reasons that make you decide to leave? Please share your story and thoughts to the email address tto@tuoitre.com.vn. Tuoi Tre Online thanks you.

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/hon-nhan-ve-co-ban-la-khong-doan-duoc-dieu-gi-20240311155005284.htm