The despair of a mother whose 38-year-old daughter is still single

Ms. Zhang (70 years old, living in Chongqing, China) said that her daughter has been unemployed for more than 6 years. Since graduating from university, her only daughter has refused to date, according to the South China Morning Post.

"My husband and I are so worried that we can't eat or sleep well. We hope that she can be like most other people, find a job and a man to marry. Only then will we feel secure when we leave this world."

Ms. Truong and her husband still support their daughter’s living expenses and buy her an apartment, but recently discovered that her daughter had sold the house without notice. She rented an apartment near her parents’ home, adopted six stray cats, and regularly posted videos of them on social media.

Mrs. Truong cried when thinking about her 38-year-old daughter who is still single.

Ms. Truong said that although the two lived close to each other, she felt very distant from her daughter because she did not understand her daughter's choice. "She picked up stray cats to live with. Does she intend to depend on those cats for the rest of her life? " she said.

She often cries when thinking about her daughter, and has repeatedly tried to persuade her to find a job or a boyfriend, but her daughter always refuses to listen. "My husband and I get headaches every time we think about this. We have to endure it and cannot share it with our friends because we feel so ashamed," she said.

Chongqing TV interviewed Ms. Zhang’s 38-year-old daughter over the phone because she refused to appear on camera. She said that she is currently a pet vlogger and has no income at the moment, but she believes she can earn enough to support herself in the future. Besides, she is not worried about being single and is not desperate enough to marry a random man.

"The older generation thinks differently from the younger generation. I tried to talk to my mother, but do you think I can convince her? I won't force myself to accept a relationship I don't like. But if I happen to meet someone who is right for me, then fine. Otherwise, I won't go on any blind dates," said Ms. Truong's daughter.

The 38-year-old girl said that despite many disagreements, she still respects her parents and rents an apartment near home so she can visit them often.

"No matter what I say, they still think my lifestyle is wrong. They think it's wrong for me not to work or date. They also don't understand why I keep pets," she said.

Why should we cherish single life?

Psychotherapist Anna Jackson says that many people unconsciously define themselves and their self-worth through their relationships and "partners." But in reality, it's the growth we gain from our breakups that's most important. Constantly seeking out and rushing into new relationships is like being afraid of being single.

Bonnie Scott, therapist and founder of Mindful Kindness Counseling, says that single people tend to make their own decisions in life. As a result, they tend to have more freedom and responsibility for their decisions.

She also said: "Having the freedom to control your life brings many benefits to each person's mental health. Many single people live more comfortably and simply than those who are not single."

Single people often make their own decisions in life. Therefore, they tend to be more free and responsible for all their decisions. Illustration photo

Being single gives you more space to think.

Jackson said that when she ended a long-term relationship, she began to focus on her own desires without having to depend on her lover's opinion.

“Just feeling free allows me to focus on what I want and become the person I want to be,” Jackson said. Taking time for ourselves is how we learn who we are and what we really need in life.

Single people tend to spend more time on physical activities.

According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, single people tend to spend more time on physical activities than married people. Surprisingly, single people tend to have the most positive thoughts.

In Psychology Today, social psychologist Bella DePaulo discusses how single women tend to be healthier than married women. They get sick less often and see the doctor less often.

Single people tend to have stronger friendships.

Being single means building stronger relationships with friends. Friendship is also one of the most lasting relationships in everyone's life.

A study in the journal Contexts shows that single people often have more time to care for friends and relatives than married people.

Sometimes single people have a financial advantage.

Although it is reported that single people are hit hardest in terms of living costs, they have a financial advantage when they are single.

According to Debt.org, "21% of singles have credit card debt, along with 27% of childless couples and 36% of married couples with children."

A post on Wealthify also points out that single people can take more risks, as well as have more time to do multiple jobs at the same time.

Being single opens up more job opportunities

Scott argues that being single makes us more willing to take on work opportunities.

"Single people can be willing to move to a new city to work, as well as have the ability to commit to a project or a job without being tied down by family or children. Their decisions will not depend on others," she said.

Being alone may not be easy, but being with the wrong person is even harder.

Sometimes, being single also makes us feel a bit sad or pressured, tired when trying to find a relationship. However, living together also has certain difficulties.

People who are living with their lover will have to think about the future of this relationship, whether they love the right person or not. Many people have entered the wrong relationship because of fear and shame of being alone. "There is nothing lonelier than being with the wrong person," Jackson affirmed.

Single people often adapt well to any situation.

Being alone is different from being lonely. Everyone needs to learn to appreciate their alone time. That is the premise for living independently.

We all have to be independent at some point in our lives. If you have never been alone, you will have a harder time than those who are already independent.

According to many studies, single people are less likely to experience negative emotions. Married people tend to have negative emotions about being independent. These negative emotions are almost as bad as the frustration of having to fend for themselves.

Learning to be happy being alone is extremely important.

As mentioned, being alone and being lonely are two different things. Loneliness means the absence of something or someone, while being alone is "a kind of contentment," Scott asserts.

Jackson believes that it is important for each person to learn to be independent. Once they learn to be independent, it means they stop running away from their fears.

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Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/noi-buon-cua-ba-me-co-con-gai-38-tuoi-van-doc-than-17224030609373868.htm