Before, every time my son-in-law came home from work, he would greet me a few times, but later on, he just walked past me as if he didn't see me, speaking curtly, only saying "um" and "uh".
At a certain stage, the elderly need the care of their children and grandchildren. Some people do not have sons but only daughters, and if they want their children to take care of them, they of course need the consent of their son-in-law, if the son is married and has his own life. The same is the case with this 73-year-old Mrs. To.
After careful consideration, Mrs. To decided to go to her daughter's house to enjoy her old age, but after less than three months, she sadly returned to her hometown.
Mrs. To said:
I have always been an independent person. My husband passed away more than twenty years ago, and I still live alone in the countryside. But as I get older and my health deteriorates, I feel very lonely and helpless.
Recently my health has been declining, I often have chest pain and difficulty breathing. I think I could die at any moment, afraid that I won't be able to see my daughter one last time.
So I thought: Maybe I should go to my daughter's house to retire, to be closer to my children, then life would be more convenient.
Besides, I still have more than 30 million VND in savings so I can comfortably help my child with some expenses.
I called my daughter and son-in-law to ask for their opinions. My daughter was always worried about me living alone in the countryside, so when she heard me talk about this, she immediately agreed. My son-in-law also welcomed his mother-in-law to live with him because our relationship had always been very good.
I don't want my two children to think that I am a burden, so I take the initiative to go to the market and cook every day. When they come home from work, they have hot rice to eat.
My son-in-law thanked me a lot because thanks to my mother staying with us and cooking, we were no longer rushed and rushed when we got off work. However, not long after, I discovered that my son-in-law was gradually becoming colder towards me than before.
Having lived in the countryside for so many years, I'm really bad at remembering addresses and directions, and I don't normally like to talk.
After moving to the city to live with my children, besides going to the market and cooking, I mostly stay at home listening to music on the radio and watching plays on TV.
When the son-in-law comes home from work, sometimes he lies on the sofa watching TV, sometimes he plays games in the study room.
Out of nowhere, one day my daughter suddenly reminded me not to turn the radio up too loud, because when they came home from work they were unbearably tired, and my son-in-law was visibly upset.
I also tried turning the music down, but the old man with hearing loss couldn't hear it, so he just turned it up. My daughter reminded me several times, then got frustrated and turned off the music station.
After that, I had to promise not to turn on the radio when the children were home, then my daughter returned it to me. But after only one month of living together, my son-in-law's attitude towards me got worse and worse.
Illustration
Before, every time my son-in-law came home from work, he would greet me a few times, but later on, he just walked past me as if he didn't see me, speaking curtly, only saying "um" and "uh".
I asked my daughter in confusion and found out that my son-in-law “didn’t like” me because I was bothered every night after work and on weekends. I just remembered that I often asked my son-in-law to do some housework, and also asked him to help carry things and fix broken things for my friends who lived in the same apartment building. My son-in-law was dissatisfied because he was tired from work and had to be ordered around when he got home.
I was a little disappointed with my son-in-law's behavior. When I was in the countryside, neighbors and families who had difficulties were always helped wholeheartedly, giving back, so when I encountered difficulties, others also reached out to help me. When my son-in-law helped my friends fix the water pipes or carry heavy objects, they all thanked me with a bunch of vegetables and some fruits...
But after all, my son-in-law is not my biological son, so I cannot tell him my thoughts. Later, when they asked for help, I refused, so as not to bother my son-in-law. My friends gradually distanced themselves from me, and I felt very sad but had to accept it.
Although I tried to adapt to my two children's lives and tried to change my own views and lifestyle, my son-in-law still had prejudices against me.
My health is not good, and I have to go to the hospital for check-ups every once in a while. My daughter often goes on business trips, so I often ask my son-in-law to take me to the hospital. I also pay for the medical examination and medicine myself. I also often pay back my son-in-law for gas money. However, many times, when I needed to go to the hospital for a check-up, I knocked on the door but my son-in-law did not respond. I knew my son was in the room, he just did not say anything.
I had to take a taxi to the hospital by myself, traveling far away alone, and having to wait for a number. I felt extremely sad.
When I got home, my daughter saw me going to the hospital alone and got angry and scolded her husband. My son-in-law just said: "Why did you have to go to the hospital with your mother?"
He looked at me and continued: “I don’t want to go. Before, without her, I was free and comfortable every weekend. But now I don’t even have time to lie down and rest. I’m already tired from work and I have to worry about this.”
The daughter was angry and scolded her husband even louder. I sat on the side not knowing what to do. I myself did not want my two children to have conflicts because of me, so I could only advise her to be quiet.
“It’s not a big deal. I can go to the hospital by myself. You shouldn’t blame your husband like that.”
Sitting on the sofa, thinking back over the past three months, I realized that my decision to go to my daughter’s nursing home was a mistake. My presence had more or less hindered my children’s lives. A few days later, I told my children that I wanted to go back to my hometown.
My daughter asked me if I was unfamiliar with living in the city. I kept shaking my head and said I missed my neighbors in the countryside and would come visit my children when I had time.
My son-in-law knew that I was going back to my hometown, so his attitude was much better, and he was willing to take me to the hospital for a check-up. What he said earlier was a bit too much, and he hoped I wouldn't take it to heart. I myself didn't mind my son-in-law's bad attitude towards me, and only blamed myself for being old and bothering my children.
Children are grown up and have their own lives, so even though they love us, we should try not to become a burden to them, except in cases where we are powerless. Now I understand that my own home is still the most comfortable, although a bit lonely but free.
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/me-gia-73-tuoi-den-nha-con-gai-duong-lao-nhung-ngam-ngui-ve-que-chi-sau-3-thang-vi-khuc-mac-voi-con-re-day-la-mot-quyet-dinh-sai-lam-172241126160529273.htm
Comment (0)