Because you deserve it…

I know many women who never buy anything valuable for themselves in their entire lives, never even dare to eat a bowl of pho. Their whole lives they only worry about how to take care of everything in the family, how to save the most money. They do not live for themselves but always live for their husbands and children. They are in today but always have to worry about tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, worry about everything in the future, fear that bad things will happen.

My mother is one of them. Her whole life was devoted to silent sacrifices for her husband and children. Even when she was old, she still sat and worried about each child, upset because one of them had an unsatisfactory life. The worrying nature was ingrained in her blood and so was her thriftiness. She never bought anything for herself, always regretting the money, even when her children bought for her, they scolded her for buying such expensive things, she never went anywhere. All the children advised her, Mom, how many more years do you have to live, why do you have to be frugal, eat whatever you want, buy whatever you want, just go out and have fun to relax, don't worry anymore, the children are grown up, have wives and husbands, each one takes care of himself. Mom smiled sadly: what can you do, that's human nature.

There was a time when I considered it beautiful, good, considered it a necessary sacrifice of a mother, a wife. Then many times I cried alone because of resentment, did my husband know about that sacrifice, did my children understand? No. No one understood my sacrifice. At the dinner table, all the delicious food was reserved for my husband and children, they considered it obvious. When buying clothes, I always bought for my children, then my husband, for several years I myself did not buy a new shirt because I was sorry for the money, because I felt it was not necessary, I did not go anywhere... Then the resentment kept accumulating, accumulating more and more, when I could not stand it anymore, I argued with my husband, cried again. My husband did not understand, he just got upset and said that someone was unreasonable, someone who was so petty.

I held those pains alone, endured them alone and blamed my fate. Until one day, a close sister passed away, her death made me suddenly realize how foolish it was to sacrifice for others. Her life was clearly before my eyes, a lifetime of sacrifice to take care of her husband and children, to work and save money, to build a career. Even in her last days fighting cancer, bedridden, the first thing she said when she opened her eyes was: Have you eaten yet, Khang? The day she passed away, when preparing clothes for cremation, people discovered a whole wardrobe of clothes with the labels still on. She had bought them and left them there without even having a chance to wear them. She never gave herself time to rest, to go out and wear them.

I saw myself in her life. I realized that working hard and worrying about my husband and children is useless. Human life is short, no one knows when their last day will be. Each person is born only once, lives only once, why torture themselves, why wait for others to love them instead of loving themselves. So I decided to change. I had to live a different life from my mother, different from my friend. I started listening to my body more. Going to bed early. Eating what I like. Buying what I like. Every time I get paid, the first thing I do is reward myself with something I like. I started to care more about my appearance. I started to smile more. I started to delegate tasks to my husband and children. And I started to ignore them when they didn't do what I wanted. The child cleans the dirty floor. Never mind. She has to learn how to do the work herself. The husband irons the clothes carelessly. Never mind, it's his clothes, if you want to wear them neatly, you have to do it yourself. At first, my husband and children reacted strongly because they were used to being served. After a while, they didn't complain anymore. Now my daughter knows how to cook her own food when she sees her mother busy working. Now my husband doesn't complain anymore when he sees his wife standing in the mirror applying lotion before going to bed. It's true that the world will change when we change.

October 20th is coming, I know many women are waiting for gifts from their lovers, husbands, and children. Then there will be the photo shoot to show on Facebook. Of course, being remembered and given gifts on the occasion of the holiday is happiness. But if you don’t have any, don’t be sad, why don’t you buy the gift you like and give it to yourself because you deserve it.

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