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How to raise an only child so that he or she is not stubborn?

Báo Gia đình Việt NamBáo Gia đình Việt Nam01/01/1970


The trend toward fewer children is becoming more widespread in modern society. According to data from the Pew Research Center, the number of young couples today having only one child has doubled over the past generation — from 11% in 1976 to 22% in 2015. The rate is as high as 47% in some European countries.

Dr. Susan Newman, a psychologist in New York (USA), said that for many couples, having one child makes it easier for them to raise and balance their finances in life than having many children. However, raising an only child still has many challenges related to the child's personality and behavior, also known as "only child syndrome".

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Only child stereotype

In fact, many people believe that only children are often spoiled and protected, which can easily lead to a lack of social skills, self-centeredness, isolation, and loneliness.

However, there is currently no scientific evidence that being an only child affects a person’s personality, behavior, or happiness. A comprehensive 2019 personality study published in the Journal of Personality Research found that personality is not determined by the presence or absence of siblings. It’s how parents raise their only child that matters.

The biggest challenge for parents of one child is that in the early years, most of the time at home is just the parent and the child. The child may play with the parent all day long, but that is not the same as the experience of playing with other children. However, playing alone can make a child more creative.

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Parents with one child often have more energy and patience because they aren’t being pulled in multiple directions or constantly having to deal with sibling disputes, Newman says. They often have more time to listen to their child, spend time with both their child and their partner, and pursue their own interests.

In addition, an only child receives undivided attention from his or her parents, creating a special bond between the child and his or her parents, including trust and transparency. The absence of parental favoritism and sibling rivalry does not harm the child’s self-esteem. The only child is also said to have an academic advantage because all of the parents’ resources are devoted to the child.

Only children are often thought to exist in a “lonely bubble,” but in reality, they have a social life outside the home and are part of many concentric circles, including extended family, schoolmates, neighborhood friends, and the community. Only children have a sense of having it all together, not having to share parental love, attention, or toys with anyone else. But that can sometimes be a challenge, as the individual child has nowhere to hide and no one else to blame. And the responsibility of caring for their parents as they age cannot be shared.

How to raise an only child

Social psychologist Susan Newman says families with only children should make sure their children socialize with peers early and often. Playgrounds, preschools, classes, or clubs can help them develop social skills that were once thought to be the preserve of siblings. Strong friendships can even replace siblings and provide a lifelong support system.

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In addition, parents should let their children participate in team sports or group extracurricular activities such as band to help them form a sense of self that they are not always the center of attention.

Even if the child is an only child, parents should act as if the family has many children by dividing the housework among the children, clearly outlining the boundaries and responsibilities of the children in each action, and avoiding complete dependence on the parents.

Whether you have one child or many, parents should not say “yes” to every wish and desire of their children. This only encourages their sense of enjoyment and demands.

Don't overcrowd your child's schedule with classes and extracurricular activities just because you're worried that he'll be bored or have no siblings to play with. Children need space to rest, explore and play on their own.



Source: https://giadinhonline.vn/nuoi-day-con-mot-co-kho-khong-d199621.html

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