It is said that no success in any career can compensate for failure in educating children, so in fact, for parents, educating children is a top priority. As parents, we should ask ourselves how many points have we achieved in educating our children? If educating children were a homework assignment, what would your score be?
In the process of raising your child, have you noticed any of the following signs in your child? If so, it means that your parenting is very successful and your child has won right from the start!
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1. Children can take responsibility
One person said: "My daughter went out with the neighbor's boy, playfully teased others and was chased. My daughter ran as fast as she could and hid safely at home, but the other boy was caught and scolded. I heard the story and told my daughter: Now you take your brother out to play, get into trouble and run away, leaving him alone, this is irresponsible behavior. The daughter cried and hesitated for a long time, but finally ran out to apologize to the other person and took her brother home."
The father's timely education has helped children learn to be responsible. This is a character that is not inborn but formed during the educational process. To nurture this quality in children, parents must first of all be resolute in not spoiling them, and let them learn to take care of themselves and take responsibility for their own affairs. For example, let children clean their own rooms, wash their own dirty socks, and complete their own schoolwork. If children do these things regularly and gradually get used to them, they will no longer feel dependent and a sense of responsibility will form naturally.
2. Children follow the rules
A very "smart" mother, in some cases where she had to queue, she often urged her son to cut in line to avoid waiting too long. However, after the child entered kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to line up to get things. The child was clearly not the first to arrive but wanted to be first, of course not allowed so he started crying. When playing with toys, this child also grabbed other children's toys, if not, he would hit them. As time passed, the child was "isolated" by his friends, everyone wanted to stay away from him.
There is a saying that goes like this: Those who disregard the rules will eventually suffer the consequences. Some children always treat the rules as if they don't matter, littering, destroying public property, even making noise in crowded places, etc. Although these are children's behaviors, they also directly demonstrate the failure of their parents in educating them.
Any parent will encounter various problems in the development of their child. It is advisable to set some rules from a young age, so that the teaching will be somewhat easier.
3. Children can express many different emotions in front of you.
Typically, the closer you feel to someone, the easier it is to express your emotions in front of them. Similarly, if children feel psychologically safe and secure with their parents, they will dare to express many different emotions, especially negative emotions such as anger, sadness, etc.
If a child rarely shows emotions in front of his parents, or only shows a certain type of emotion, it shows that there is something wrong in the relationship between parents and children. Therefore, mothers should not blame their children for losing their temper, nor should they think that children who like to act spoiled are spoiled. At this time, you need to teach your children how to control their emotions so that they can have the best communication skills.
4. Come to you when you have a dilemma
In psychology, there is a type of "secure attachment", where people have a trusted and attached object, thinking that that person will support them in any situation. Obviously, in the early stages of a child's life, parents are such an ideal object.
Many parents think that when children encounter any problem and can solve it themselves, it will train their independence. This is true, but not necessarily so. In fact, many problems that children encounter in the process of growing up are beyond their ability to understand and solve.
If your child's first reaction is not to seek help from you when these problems arise or to try to solve them on their own, then sometimes it is not an improvement in independence but because you, the parents, have not been successful enough in communicating with your child. When your child asks for help, you should not be impatient or reproachful, but try your best to help your child solve the problems.
5. Children are not "labeled"
For example, the child is late today: "Why are you so lazy; You are so lethargic that you can't do anything." Another example, the child sings out of tune: "You really have no artistic talent; You are not suited to learn singing." Or when the child walks on a wooden bridge very nervously, the parent says, "You are such a coward."
Parents often do not know that scolding, criticizing, worrying, and disappointing their children not only makes them feel sad when being scolded or judged, but also more. Those things will have a suggestive effect on children, causing them to act or become like that unconsciously. Those things are like seeds planted in the child's soul, they will grow and sometimes become the child's real personality.
Some psychologists believe that countless children develop bad habits over time due to their parents' misjudgments, eventually becoming the kind of person their parents say they are. The labels that parents give their children in childhood will follow them throughout their lives. The trauma of being judged is often much more severe than the physical trauma.
6. Children are encouraged to do what they like
When you signed your child up for piano lessons, did you ask for their opinion? Some parents do not allow their children to develop areas of interest, and the "hobbies" they allow their children to pursue are actually dreams that they themselves have not fulfilled. Many parents unwittingly use their children as a tool to fulfill their own dreams, never asking what their children want to do.
If parents do not let their children discover their talents and force them to study in fields that they are not interested in, the children will be afraid of disappointing their parents and will naturally feel a lot of pressure in the learning process. As a result, the child will have to live in a stressful atmosphere!
Parents' job is to guide their children, not to decide for them. Parents should let their children freely choose what they want to do, and at the same time gradually help them consolidate and identify what they really like and what is necessary for their future. Imagine, do you want your children to be like you, doing a job they don't like, wanting to quit but not daring, instead placing their hopes on the next generation? Isn't this a vicious cycle?
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