Having thousands of Facebook friends who are students, Ms. Dao Thi Ninh, 54 years old, spends time every day commenting on posts, guiding students to resolve potential conflicts early.
Ms. Ninh, a teacher at Nguyen Binh Khiem High School - Cau Giay, Hanoi, is considered "cute" by many students because she is approachable, friendly, and uses language appropriate for teenagers.
According to her, regularly interacting as a friend with students on social networks brings many benefits. First, students see that teachers are friendly, so they easily share their own stories. Second, students realize that their teachers use Facebook, so they pay more attention to how they behave on social networks. Therefore, starting in 10th grade, she makes Facebook friends with students and parents.
One time, Ms. Ninh saw a student posting something vulgar and aggressive. Thinking that the post could lead to many consequences, including school bullying, she asked a student in her class who was "not too good or bad" to advise her to delete the post, pretending she had not seen it. Not letting the matter end there, after a few days, Ms. Ninh talked to the student about the impact of social media posts, without mentioning the deleted post. After that, she did not see the student post anything negative again.
"In this case, if I directly ask my child to delete the post, he might be scared and not dare to confide in me anymore. I choose to educate him gradually," said Ms. Ninh.
As social networks increasingly become places where conflicts, arguments, and gossip can arise, creating the risk of school violence, teachers' use of them to quickly detect and resolve risks is proving to be somewhat effective.
From being friends with students in virtual space, Ms. Ninh became close friends with them in real life. She asked students to tell their own stories of frustration and then gave them their own names. "Naming the story will guide students' thinking," she shared her experience.
A female student named the incident "Itchy Eyes" after being yelled at by a senior and forced to change seats in the dining room. After hearing the story, Ms. Ninh called it "The Unforeseen Event" and explained the unforeseen consequences, so that the student could see that her way of handling it was not good.
To get students to trust and tell their stories, the teacher must use many methods. From the first days of receiving the class, she studies each student's profile, then asks parents to inquire about each family's thoughts and wishes as well as the strengths and weaknesses of the children. According to her, when teachers are close, listen and truly want to accompany parents in educating their children, they will also trust, thereby detecting early risks of school bullying or handling the incident well when it has occurred.
Ms. Ninh and students of the 2020-2023 class, Nguyen Binh Khiem High School - Cau Giay. Photo: Provided by the character
Also choosing to befriend students, Mr. Huynh Thanh Phu, former principal of Nguyen Du High School, Ho Chi Minh City, established a school counseling team consisting of the school board and "idol" teachers. These are open teachers who are often close to and interact with students, so they are loved and trusted by students, Mr. Phu explained.
Thinking that talking directly could make students feel shy and reluctant to reveal their faces in sensitive issues, Mr. Phu did not arrange a counseling room. Instead, the counseling team of Nguyen Du School works via phone and social networks. According to him, thanks to the ease of contacting teachers, many times the students reporting the incident are not directly involved, but just classmates or graders.
Mr. Phu said he once received a message via social media from a 10th grade student, reporting that a male student in that class was preparing to fight with a student from another class. He and the supervisor immediately went to the class where the message was sent and discovered that the incident was exactly as the message said.
"Sometimes we receive messages from students in the middle of the night. Thanks to this method, the school has prevented many fights and scuffles, and also prevented students from fighting, filming and posting clips online, only then did the teachers find out," said Mr. Phu.
Another effective way to detect bullying is through teacher observation. Experts say teachers should pay attention to students’ moods, facial expressions, and unusual behavior in class.
The first recognizable sign is a decline in academic performance, according to psychologist Vu Thu Trang of Hanoi Pedagogical University. Ms. Trang believes that students who are bullied are affected by negative emotions, so their academic performance is often affected.
"If you see that your children are declining in their studies, have less motivation to study, are not focused in class, or are more seriously afraid of going to school, teachers need to find out the reason immediately," Ms. Trang said in a discussion at the end of April.
In addition, some other unusual signs that teachers should pay attention to are students changing their route to school, no longer going to places they often go to in school. They change their habits to avoid bullies. Students who are beaten will have signs on their bodies, such as bruises, disheveled clothes, broken buttons or dirt. In boarding schools, students skipping naps and avoiding areas where teachers are scolding are also unusual signs, according to Ms. Trang.
When students lose or reduce their connection with friends in and out of class, this can also be a sign of school bullying, said psychologist Dr. Khuc Nang Toan of Hanoi National University of Education.
"A student who is usually sociable and easy to connect with, suddenly separates himself from the group, is afraid to interact, and becomes isolated from people around him, is very likely being bullied," said Mr. Toan.
Teachers and experts all agree that early detection of school bullying, the responsibility of schools alone, is not enough.
On the family side, teacher Nguyen Tung Lam, Chairman of the Board of Dinh Tien Hoang High School, an educational psychology expert, advised parents to pay attention to observing, learning, and confiding in their children. Whenever parents notice abnormalities in their children's behavior, or discover injuries on their children's bodies, they should contact their children's teachers and friends to find out. Before understanding the problem, parents should not overreact, question, or try to blame. This will only make children afraid, worried, and unwilling to continue sharing.
On the social level, Mr. Lam said that the government and social organizations need to ensure the safety of students. To prevent and promptly detect fights outside of schools, the authorities need to regularly inspect and monitor.
According to principal Huynh Thanh Phu, bullying, including school violence, is part of social violence. Conflicts arising in social life are inevitable, so school violence cannot be eliminated, but can only be reduced by early detection and thorough handling.
"To prevent school bullying, the cooperation of all three parties, family, school and society, is necessary to be effective," said Mr. Phu.
Thanh Hang - Duong Tam
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