Less than a month after their daughter entered first grade, Dinh Thu Trang (29 years old, Hanoi) and her husband argued at least 10 times just because of teaching their child to spell and write.
Every night, she spends 2 hours with her child struggling with writing and spelling. “The more he studies, the more afraid he becomes. I am at a dead end,” the young mother shared about her child’s arduous journey of learning to read.
At first, she thought her child was just in first grade, so she let him get used to the knowledge gradually. However, after only a few days, she was "shocked" when 80% of the students in the class had learned it in the summer, were proficient in spelling, and read fluently. Meanwhile, her child only knew the letters. After 3 weeks, the child had not yet learned all the compound sounds, was slow at spelling, and was often reminded by the teacher.
Many parents are helpless when teaching their children. (Illustration photo)
In addition to studying at school, every day the teacher gives the child 5 worksheets to take home, along with reading sheets. Therefore, every night, she spends two hours tutoring her child.
This parent commented that the Vietnamese language program is too heavy. Each lesson, students learn two words, along with compound words. For example, gh-ghe, g-ga. Then, the child reads the last paragraph of the lesson and answers the question, "absorbing too much knowledge in one lesson makes children more and more confused, and parents are like a bomb waiting to explode."
"Many days, when I saw my son and I yelling loudly because we couldn't spell correctly, my husband intervened and taught our son to study. However, after only 30 minutes, he had to give up because the knowledge and learning methods today are so different from before," she said.
Not giving up, Ms. Trang registered her child for 2 extra classes, 1 advanced Vietnamese Math class, 1 calligraphy class. Every afternoon after school, Ms. Trang takes her child straight to the extra class, 4 sessions a week.
The reason she had to study at such an "uneven" time was because she took advantage of the evening time to let her child do extra homework. Because she often had to take her child to extra classes from 5-7pm, Trang could not handle the cooking. This caused her and her husband to quarrel and argue loudly many times.
Not yet stressed to the point of arguing, but the family of Nguyen Dinh Hoang (35 years old, Hai Duong) is also tired because of carrying invisible pressure on their shoulders.
Due to his family's poor financial situation and the debt he incurred after starting a business that failed during the COVID-19 pandemic, Mr. Hoang had to work 2-3 jobs at the same time to support his family. His wife also had to take on an evening job to earn money for their children's education.
The pressure of making a living makes the couple tired, but because he wants to improve his child's academic performance, every night Mr. Hoang tries to spend time studying with his child.
His second grade son is good at most subjects, but he is weak in Math, even a simple math problem makes him struggle. Seeing his son like that, Mr. Hoang wants to send him to extra classes to improve, but the family does not have enough money, so he has to study with his son every night.
"The way of learning math today is different from the past. Sometimes even I have difficulty solving math problems and logic questions for second graders in textbooks," he admitted. He even went crazy many times, yelling at his child because no matter how much he explained, he still did not understand how to do the exercises.
Teaching his children, the 35-year-old man often falls into a state of helplessness. Pressure and anger make him unable to control himself and take it out on his wife. Teaching children is sometimes very frustrating, but because he loves his children and cannot bear to hit them, sometimes he turns around and blames his wife for trivial matters, and the whole family yells at each other. "I understand that it is wrong to take my anger out on someone else, but there are times when I cannot control my emotions," said Mr. Hoang.
This parent realizes that teaching children is not easy, it is an arduous process that requires understanding and perseverance.
Many parents complain that the curriculum is getting more and more boring.
How can couples avoid disagreements about teaching their children?
As someone who has experienced arguments over her child's education, Ms. Phung Thuy Hang (50 years old, Quang Ninh) shared: "Disagreements in the process of raising children happen to any couple, especially young people who are new to this job."
According to Ms. Hang, being a parent is the most difficult "job" in the world. Raising children is difficult, but raising them to adulthood is even more difficult. For a child to study hard and do well in school depends largely on the support of the parents.
Having read many books on child rearing, combined with her own experience in raising children, Ms. Hang advises parents not to argue in front of their children. "When children know that their parents are at odds with each other because of them, they will be afraid, have low self-esteem, and even hate studying, thinking that studying is the source of conflict. At that time, teaching children to study will be even more difficult," Ms. Hang said.
Dr. Nguyen Thi Hang, Hanoi Pedagogical University, also said that the learning methods of children today are not the same as those of their parents in the past, so the different teaching methods between parents and teachers will confuse children. Suppose parents have grasped the right method, but are not persistent, get angry, even hit their children, which will hurt the children. "Moreover, the psychology of parents is always thinking that their children are inferior to their friends, so they force their children to study at home, do extra homework, causing the children to be overloaded and confused in receiving knowledge," she said.
Therefore, it is not always good for parents to tutor their children at home, sometimes creating a more stressful atmosphere for children, especially those in the first, second, and third grades.
This psychologist advises parents to let their children study and do their homework independently. "We can ask our children to complete 10 exercises within 1 hour. If they complete them, they will be rewarded, otherwise they will be criticized by the teacher. This is to motivate and encourage children to study better every night, instead of parents sitting next to them to help them," said Dr. Hang.
Source: https://vtcnews.vn/day-con-danh-van-tap-viet-nhieu-vo-chong-cai-nhau-om-toi-ar895656.html
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