No matter how much money I have to spend, my wife still insists on expensive March 8 gifts.

(Dan Tri) - There was a time when I wondered: If I stopped giving her gifts, would she still love me?

I feel stressed every time the holidays come around because of my wife's demands. I feel that gifts have become more of an obligation than a loving gesture.

When we were in a relationship, I used to be very excited about giving gifts. A surprise bouquet of flowers, a lipstick in her favorite color, or even just a cake on her birthday, would make her happy all day long.

But at that time, we had nothing to worry about. My salary was still comfortable for romantic gifts and I didn't have to split my mind to calculate hundreds of things like now.

After getting married, everything changed. We had children, both sets of parents, and unnamed expenses. I couldn’t just think about giving gifts and forget about paying for my children’s school fees, giving money to my parents, or paying for my monthly living expenses.

But my wife doesn't accept that. For her, every holiday must have a gift, not a single day is missed.

My wife asks for gifts every time, and even asks for increasingly expensive gifts, which makes me extremely tired (Illustration: Knet).

March 8th, October 20th are also gifts, Christmas, Valentine's Day, birthdays... every day. Even wedding anniversaries must have gifts.

I explained many times that when in love it is different, but when married, the important thing is responsibility, sharing, not showing off every time. But my wife did not listen. My wife said, if I loved her, giving a gift was not a big deal.

One time, on March 8th, I forgot to buy a gift because I had to run to my parents' hometown to take care of some work. When I got home, I saw my wife's "sad face" and then I remembered.

I smiled, hugged her and said: "I'm sorry, I'm so busy today, can I make it up to you tomorrow?". But she pushed my hand away and was angry for a whole week. She even told her friends that I was the type of man who was heartless, not even remembering to give his wife a small gift.

I tried to please her. I always tried to buy her gifts, even if sometimes it was just to avoid arguments. But the more I tried to please her, the more she took advantage of me.

Gifts are not just a bouquet of flowers or a symbolic gift, but gradually become valuable things. Once, my wife bluntly said: "Don't buy flowers anymore, it's a waste of money. I like handbags more". And the handbags my wife likes cost millions of dong.

Other times, she suggests jewelry, phones, watches. I work all month, trying to save money to take care of my family, but when the holidays come, I have to worry about what to buy to please my wife.

One time, I tried not giving gifts. It was my wife's birthday, and I ordered a romantic dinner and cooked for her and the kids. I thought that would be meaningful enough. But when she looked around and realized there was no gift box on the table, her face suddenly darkened. "Don't you have anything for me?" she asked, her voice full of disappointment.

I replied: "I think we had a meaningful evening together, isn't that more important than the gift?". But she didn't agree. She felt unappreciated, unloved. And so the whole dinner that night, she didn't laugh once.

I am really tired. I don't know since when, love is measured by gifts like that? I love my wife, try to take care of my family, never regret anything for her if it is within my ability.

I don't want every holiday to be a stressful time, a time when I have to find ways to please my wife, instead of enjoying the joy with my family.

There was a time when I wondered: If I stopped giving her gifts, would she still love me? If one day, I really had a hard time and couldn't buy her the things she wanted, would she still be by my side like the day we fell in love?

I didn't dare to think further. I just knew that if this continued, I wouldn't be able to endure it any longer. I didn't want to turn love into an obligation. I didn't want each gift to be a test to measure the level of love.

I just want my wife to understand that in marriage, care does not only come from gifts, but also from the little things in life. I don't know how to make her understand that. I have talked, explained, tried but she still keeps her thoughts. And I feel more and more stuck.

The "My Story" corner records stories about married life and love. Readers who have stories of their own to share, please send them to the program via email: dantri@dantri.com.vn. Your story may be edited if necessary. Sincerely.

Source: https://dantri.com.vn/tinh-yeu-gioi-tinh/bao-nhieu-thu-phai-chi-tieu-vo-toi-van-nhat-quyet-doi-qua-83-dat-tien-20250308100458915.htm