3 quotes that show you have high emotional intelligence

Báo Tuổi TrẻBáo Tuổi Trẻ26/03/2024


Trí tuệ cảm xúc tốt là chất liệu quan trọng trong các cuộc trò chuyện và mối quan hệ - Ảnh: The Black Swan Group

Good emotional intelligence is an important ingredient in conversations and relationships - Photo: The Black Swan Group

People often use complex words or sentences to express emotional intelligence, such as understanding and empathy. But does this really work?

Wordiness does not help demonstrate emotional intelligence.

Stanford University (USA) lecturer and communication expert Matt Abrahams says that long-winded speech can have a negative impact, making listeners feel tired, self-conscious and judged.

Instead, aim for something that is easy to understand but still shows the other person that you really care about their feelings.

“Express things in a way that people can understand. There are a lot of things we do to try to make ourselves look better, to make ourselves sound better, but in reality it's counterproductive,” says Abrahams.

Next time you're in a conversation and want to demonstrate empathy and emotional intelligence (EQ), try using these three simple phrases suggested by experts.

"Can you elaborate?"

When someone confides in you, especially about something sensitive or important, the first thing you should do is not tell your personal stories to "respond".

Kathy and Ross Petras, authors of You 're Saying It Wrong , emphasize that people with high EQs ask questions that make the speaker feel heard and acknowledged.

“People who lack self-awareness are often only concerned with their own thoughts and opinions. But people with emotional intelligence care about how other people feel and what they say,” the authors write for CNBC Make It.

A phrase like “Can you elaborate?” encourages the other person to share their feelings and experiences. Then, after listening and acknowledging the other person’s feelings, you can “try to put yourself in their shoes in a meaningful way,” the authors note.

"I think..."

When you're correcting someone or giving an opinion, saying "here's the problem" is considered insulting and rude, says John Bowe, a public speaking coach and journalist. People with high emotional intelligence will steer clear of these kinds of high-pitched statements.

“Even when used unintentionally, this phrase can be cathartic,” Bowe adds. Instead, the journalist recommends expressing your personal opinion with the phrase “I think.”

This way of speaking avoids giving the impression that you are expressing your personal opinion in a pompous and unemotional way. Instead, you are expressing your point of view in a thoughtful and humble way.

"Can you give me some advice?"

It may sound weak, but asking for advice can help you demonstrate better emotional intelligence. Journalist and author Joanne Lipman advises asking lots of questions and not being afraid to approach others for suggestions.

“One of the biggest obstacles is anxiety. This prevents us from taking the first step that could lead to an important business connection, a new opportunity, or even a life partner,” she writes.

Once you have started a conversation, ask follow-up questions that build on what the other person has said, showing that you are truly listening and interested. However, your emotional intelligence also needs to be sharp and self-aware enough to know when your questions will not be answered.



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