12 things mothers-in-law should not do to their daughters-in-law

1. Don't try to be the "judge" all the time.

It is inevitable that a daughter-in-law will have arguments with her husband in life. Arguments between them can even lead to arguments and tension. However, the mother-in-law should let the daughter-in-law find her own way to resolve conflicts with her "other half".

Because if the mother-in-law always tries to be the "judge" to resolve everything, it is likely to make the conflict between daughter-in-law and son even more tense.

2. Do not interfere with where your son and daughter-in-law live together.

Gone are the days when parents placed their children where they wanted them to be. Children have grown up, got married and have the right to choose their own place of residence for their convenience in life and work. As parents, you should understand that children are meant to be loved, not imposed upon. Just because you no longer live together does not mean that your children will forget you.

Her early life as mother-in-law and her son's wife was not easy. Illustrative photo

3. Do not interfere with your daughter-in-law's child-rearing methods.

The most basic reason is that the daughter-in-law is the mother of the child, while the mother-in-law is not. As a mother-in-law, you may not agree with your daughter-in-law's parenting style, but you need to understand that the young couple is the first and most important person responsible for raising their grandchild.

4. Don't be conservative and force your daughter-in-law to listen to you.

Mother-in-law should not control all activities of the family, give opinions and force the daughter-in-law to obey completely. To make the final decision for problems arising in life, the mother-in-law should also listen to the opinions and wishes of the daughter-in-law.

Mother-in-law should let daughter-in-law follow her decisions voluntarily and comfortably instead of doing it with a coping mindset.

5. Do not interfere with your daughter-in-law's weight gain or loss.

This is probably a very sensitive matter for every woman, even if she is your mother-in-law, you should not be too close to her to give direct comments about your daughter-in-law gaining or losing weight. If possible, just talk gently about maintaining health, otherwise let your daughter-in-law feel comfortable.

6. Don't criticize your daughter-in-law to your son.

In essence, a marriage is a relationship between your son and another girl and the mother-in-law has no role in it. Talking badly about her daughter-in-law to her husband will only damage their marriage. Instead of criticizing her daughter-in-law, your mother-in-law should find the good in her daughter-in-law and nurture that good.

7. Don't pry into your daughter-in-law

Mothers often want to show their concern for their son's life and become nosy towards their daughter-in-law. A mother's concern for her son is right but should be expressed in a positive way.

Mothers-in-law should give advice and counsel to their daughters-in-law about things that are not to their liking instead of constantly scrutinizing every action and attitude, finding faults in their daughters-in-law to criticize and blame.

8. Do not interfere with your child's schooling.

This is similar to raising grandchildren. If your daughter-in-law wants your grandchild to go to a private school, you feel it is a waste, your daughter-in-law wants to educate her child using the Jewish method, but you want to educate her child using the traditional Eastern method...all of these are actually not the mother-in-law's business, so interfering will only cause more conflict in the family.

9. Don't expect your son to "put his mother first"

Now that your son has his own family, that will be his top priority. It may be frustrating for the mother because she is no longer the number one woman in her son’s life. However, you should learn to accept this reality.

A thoughtful mother-in-law helps create a harmonious family. Illustration photo

10. Do not interfere with how your daughter-in-law manages her spending.

This is probably the issue that many mothers-in-law often get stuck on the most, partly because they feel sorry for the money their son earns. But that is something that both husband and wife will negotiate, the money is also earned by them, you interfering will be a bit too much.

11. Don't expect your daughter-in-law to visit often.

A meeting should only take place if both parties wish for it. A mother-in-law should not just expect her daughter-in-law to visit without making an effort to visit her daughter-in-law and her children.

12. Give advance notice if you want to visit your child.

Mothers-in-law should not show up at their son’s doorstep and assume that they will be welcomed. If your mother-in-law intends to visit you and your husband, she should let you know in advance, unless she happens to be passing by. This is especially important if your family is in a situation where it is inconvenient to receive outsiders.

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Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/12-dieu-me-chong-dung-lam-voi-con-dau-hon-nhan-cua-cac-con-se-ben-vung-hon-17224031511295575.htm