Abandoned 31 years ago, director in France wants to find Vietnamese mother after tragedies

In a quiet room in Paris (France), Arthur Chareire - a 31-year-old director - leaned back in his chair and quietly confided to his psychologist: "I have felt lonely since I was very young, even though my adoptive parents were always by my side. Maybe... because I was an abandoned child."

This was the third therapy session for the 1994-born man since his psychological crisis related to being adopted. After 30 minutes of listening to the counselor, Arthur felt relieved as if a burden had been lifted.

"In my heart, I always felt afraid of being abandoned, having few friends, and being lonely. Even though I saw a psychologist, I still longed to find my birth mother in Vietnam, even though I knew the journey would not be easy," Arthur said.

Abandoned by mother 4 days after birth

Arthur plans to return to Vietnam in November to begin his journey to find his roots. However, some information about his birth mother in the papers has yellowed over the years, making the young man wonder whether luck will smile on him or not.

Arthur Chareire's Vietnamese name is Vu Van Dau. He was born on August 19, 1994 at Bach Mai Hospital.

According to the abandoned newborn record made by the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology - Bach Mai Hospital - in August 1994, the mother who gave birth to Dau was Nguyen Thi Hoi, a farmer, with an address in Duong Xa, Gia Lam, Hanoi .

Dau cried out when he was born healthy, weighing 2.7kg. However, 4 days after giving birth, the mother Hoi ran away. At that time, Bach Mai Hospital sent people to Duong Xa to look for her, but there was no information about this woman.

Not long after, Dau was adopted by a French couple. He went to France to start a new life under the name Arthur Chareire.

According to Arthur, before coming to Vietnam, his adoptive mother Monique had 4 years of preparation. She had to undergo an assessment of her living conditions, psychological state, and childcare skills.

Arthur’s adoptive mother had gone through a broken marriage and lost the ability to have children after the birth of her second child. When deciding to remarry, Monique and her husband longed to adopt a child from abroad.

Arthur is now a director in Paris, France (Photo: Character provided).

Since bringing Arthur back to France, Mrs. Monique has poured her love into her little son. Although life was not rich, his adoptive parents gave him a happy childhood. The whole family lived in Cantal - a peaceful countryside with beautiful natural scenery - in the South of France. Arthur was sent by his adoptive parents to study music and sports to develop his artistic talent.

Since Arthur was a child, his adoptive parents never hid the fact that he was adopted. Growing up, the Vietnamese-American boy always questioned his origins. He was determined to one day find his birth mother.

"My adoptive mother supported me in finding my birth mother. She personally handed me all the adoption documents and birth certificates. To me, those are the most precious things in life," Arthur confided.

Tragedy of life despite always receiving love

Behind his gentle smile, Arthur has worries that few people understand. He wants to see his birth mother again, but he is afraid that the woman who abandoned him 31 years ago will refuse to reunite.

Flipping through the pages of the time-worn file, Arthur read and reread the information about himself over and over again. He admitted that he had never blamed his birth mother and was ready to forgive her.

The birth certificate that Arthur still keeps (Photo: Character provided).

Pointing at the birth certificate with the father's name left blank, Arthur emotionally said: "That year, maybe my mother was in a difficult economic situation and could not afford to raise her children, or maybe she did not have a husband and was afraid of the harsh eyes of the world, and did not have enough courage to overcome it."

Meanwhile, he felt proud and grateful when thinking about what his adoptive parents had done for him. However, the relationship between the two sides also had times of cracks, the cause of which stemmed from differences in thinking due to the generation gap.

Monique was very strict about Arthur's studies. His foster mother expected him to achieve high results and excel in class. However, the 31-year-old admitted that "he did not know how to respond to his mother's expectations".

During Arthur's junior high school years, Monique was troubled by her naughty son, who was somewhat lazy and often fell asleep in class. Thinking about the strictness of his family, the Vietnamese-American boy graduated from high school and received a university degree as his adoptive mother wished.

"From the age of 16 to 25, I fell into a state of confusion when thinking about the future, afraid of not being happy like everyone else. My adoptive mother was sad, did not understand my unhappiness, leading to our relationship becoming more and more distant. In the past few years, we have been happier every time we see each other again," Arthur shared.

In the past 31 years, the young director has never seen the image of a woman like he imagined his mother in his dreams. Arthur said sadly: "I often have nightmares."

Thinking about finding his mother and imagining the reunion made Arthur nervous. Living in a bustling city like Paris, he had very few close friends to share his thoughts with.

"I get along with everyone but always feel lonely. As a child who had to leave his mother's arms since birth, I carry within me the fear of being abandoned by everyone again," Arthur confided.

In addition to worrying about the trip to find his mother, starting a company with friends in Paris and being independent in a difficult life put Arthur under pressure. When he could not overcome the anxiety surrounding him, he had to see a psychologist to learn how to relieve pressure at work and in his thoughts.

"People often think that psychotherapy is only for mental patients. In fact, anyone can see a psychologist for inner counseling, regardless of the severity of their condition," the Vietnamese-American man confided.

Cherishing the trip back home

A month ago, Arthur decided to leave the film production company, working as a collaborator to focus on preparing for a journey filled with hope.

According to Arthur, the decision to leave the company he had been with since the early days made him worry for many nights. However, the 30-year-old man said: "Quitting may be a sad decision at this time, but I do it for a future that could be even better."

Before 2024, Arthur never thought of finding his biological mother, because in his eyes, his adoptive parents were an indispensable part of his life. However, on his 30th birthday, he had the idea of ​​returning to Vietnam, and he cherished the hope of finding his biological mother.

"Now is the time for me to be ready to find the person who gave birth to me. I want to fulfill this wish so that when I get old I will have no regrets no matter what the outcome is," Arthur confided.

Image of Arthur when he was first brought back to France (Photo: Character provided).

It is known that Arthur will buy a motorbike in Vietnam, apply for a 3-month visa, which can be extended, to make a trip from North to South and to some neighboring countries.

With the help of some connections in France, the director plans to follow the information on the birth certificate in the hope of meeting his biological mother in his homeland. In addition, he will also connect with YouTubers in Vietnam to post information in the hope of finding his mother soon.

Talking about the moment of reunion if it comes true, Arthur emotionally said: "I don't dare to imagine too much about that moment. Mother and son will probably cry, but I want to say thank you for being reunited after 31 years."

During the trip, Arthur plans to film videos introducing the landscapes, cuisines, and people of different regions of the world on social media. In addition, he also wants to set up a cultural exchange project between a French school and an association that helps disadvantaged children.

Readers with any information about Arthur Chareire's (or Vu Van Dau) family in Vietnam, please contact the Dan Tri online newspaper hotline.

Hanoi Hotline: 0973-567-567

Hotline HCMC: 0974-567-567

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Source: https://dantri.com.vn/doi-song/bi-bo-roi-31-nam-truoc-dao-dien-o-phap-muon-tim-me-viet-sau-nhung-bi-kich-20250414192855150.htm