After months of getting to know each other and with the consent of both families, many Pa Ko boys and girls became husband and wife. Their grandparents, parents, and relatives performed very unique wedding customs and ceremonies. In particular, the dowry (van mun) was fully prepared by the Pa Ko people with the hope that their children and grandchildren would have a happy and fulfilling life in the future.
Heroic Vietnamese mother Ho Thi Nieng (right, Pa Ko ethnic group, A Doi commune, Huong Hoa district) often wears dowry souvenirs on holidays and Tet - Photo: KS
The value of ebony
According to the elderly in Ta Rut commune, Dakrong district, for many generations, when proposing marriage to their children or grandchildren, Pa Ko parents always have to carefully prepare the mun documents as a custom.
Mun literature is divided into two types. The common mun literature of the whole family, this is a type of keepsake passed down for many generations, generations of Pa Ko people keep it very carefully. Usually the head of the family is the person responsible for preserving the mun literature of the whole family. Before wanting to hand over the mun literature to the next generation to keep, it must be combined with the days of major events in the family. The common mun literature is usually talle (gong), koong (chieng), zang (cluster, jar).
The general mun literature must clearly state its origin and history, the process of use and transmission. The meaning of the mun literature of the family is for the descendants to clearly know about the origin and the ups and downs, changes of the family. The person who preserves the mun literature must be familiar with the stories related to the relics and the names of the people who have kept the mun literature since ancient times.
Currently in Ta Rut, the Kal-Lang family still keeps the family's relics. The ebony is carefully kept and not everyone can touch it. Every time they want to take out the relic to clean it or use it for public or private purposes of the family, they have to offer a chicken.
Gia He is one of the few Pa Ko people in A Lieng village, Ta Rut commune who still keeps many dowry souvenirs - Photo: KS
For the marriage jewelry (Van Plo), mainly jewelry types such as: A-neang, ta-not a-bóh, pa-nayq plô, pa-liah pâr-lang, deq u-la mpar... (agate bracelets, cuffs, necklaces made of silver, gold). This is jewelry for the bride to wear on the neck, ears, hands, feet on the wedding day as well as Pa Ko women use on Tet and big festivals.
Jewelry is considered a rare dowry. Wealthy families give their daughters-in-law a long agate necklace, wrapped around their necks; a large silver or gold necklace worn around their necks, gold or silver earrings and anklets. Middle-class families give their daughters less, but still have a full set of necklaces, earrings, and anklets. Poor families try to give their brides at least a small necklace with agate beads, showing their affection and love for their daughters-in-law.
In any Pa Ko wedding in the past, there had to be a dowry. For the man's family, the dowry had to include: a copper pot for the mother-in-law, called Pa-niing daq toh, which means to repay the mother's milk that raised his wife. In addition, there were agate beads and silver necklaces depending on the ability. A gong for the father-in-law, called Tâlle ra-zưh Lom A-ăm, which means "wiping away the tears of a father missing his daughter when she gets married".
The gong for the head of the family, called the talle tar-rang dungq, means that the child or grandchild gets married but the spirit still remains with the bride's family. This is the longest-kept dowry that does not belong to anyone, and is passed on to the next generation. Finally, the dowry for the bride's uncle includes: Tâlle, a bronze pot, 1 silver cuff, 5 agate beads, 1 bronze tray to show gratitude to the mother-in-law's origin.
Keep the good customs
In Pa Ko weddings, the bride's family usually gives only dresses, shirts, and brocade. First are dresses for the daughter to get married, called nnai a-neang a-kay. The amount given depends on the conditions of each family. Nnai a-neang a-kay means that when the daughter gets married, the parents are responsible for nurturing her.
Next is the dress for the mother-in-law, called nnai tam-bongq ai, meaning to connect with the mother-in-law, when away from the mother, the mother-in-law is also the mother, in the true sense of the in-law. The dress for the father-in-law is called kâr-nuôm a-ăm, meaning the father-in-law is the one who manages and protects the peace and happiness of the children and grandchildren. In addition, there is also the dowry of the uncle for the niece to marry, which is the dress according to each person's ability, called ti-loi a-mon, meaning the uncle will be the one who loves and cares for the niece and her husband's family.
Groom Ho Van Thuoc and bride Ho Thi Tranh in Ta Rut commune were radiant on their wedding day - Photo: NVCC
Meritorious Artisan Mai Hoa Sen in Ta Rut Commune said: “Speaking of humanity in marriage, the groom’s family and the bride’s family are the same, but the bride’s family belongs to the yin side, and the clothes and food are given accordingly. The groom’s family belongs to the yang side, and all the objects are hard, solid, and have sound. The Pa Ko wedding usually takes place continuously for 3 days.
The first day is the wedding reception at the bride's house; the second day is held at the groom's house (called the "taking the child down" ceremony) and the third day is the "taking the child up" ceremony at the bride's house. The exchange of dowry from both sides usually takes place during the "taking the child down" and "taking the child up" ceremonies. After the wedding, the dowry from the bride's family to the groom's family can be used normally, except for any items that have been offered for spiritual purposes, which absolutely cannot be used.
Most Pa Ko women still keep the Van Plo as a souvenir after getting married. When they die, if they do not pass on the dowry to their children and grandchildren, they will be buried with them. Nowadays, the ritual steps have not changed, but due to modern material life, the dowry of the ethnic minorities is mostly symbolic. For that reason, village elders, village chiefs, and prestigious people in the ethnic minority areas of Western Quang Tri often encourage people and educate their children to maintain and promote the typical values of ethnic culture, including the beauty of the dowry in weddings and engagements. |
As life develops, along with many other customs and practices, the Pa Ko wedding customs are at risk of being lost. Realizing this, many families and young couples when organizing weddings eliminate elaborate procedures, keeping the traditional wedding customs while still ensuring solemnity and practical meaning in community life.
The family of Mr. Ho Van Ngon in Ta Rut commune is a typical example. When organizing a wedding for his son, his family and in-laws followed the traditional steps (the wedding took place within 3 days), then allowed his children to hold a modern wedding party inviting relatives, neighbors, friends, and colleagues. In particular, he prepared a dowry for his son very carefully.
“Many months before the wedding, my family ordered a new gong, a bronze pot, a string of agate beads, necklaces, earrings, bracelets all made of silver... as souvenirs to give to the daughter-in-law during the wedding ceremony. Through the dowry, we hope that our children will always preserve and build a lasting family happiness, with enough food and savings. Through that, we will educate the younger generation about love for national cultural identity,” Mr. Ngon shared.
Ko Kan Suong
Source: https://baoquangtri.vn/net-dep-van-hoa-cua-hoi-mon-nguoi-pa-ko-191400.htm
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