Young people advise each other to raise their own children, don't let grandparents take care of their grandchildren.

Nhiều ý kiến cho rằng cha mẹ nên tự chăm sóc con mình theo cách của mình, không nên dựa dẫm vào ông bà — Many opinions say that parents should take care of their children in their own way, not rely on grandparents.

That is one of the readers' opinions on the eternal problem: asking grandparents to help take care of their grandchildren.

Recently, social networks are hotly discussing a text message from a wife complaining to her husband that she "really doesn't understand" the matter of asking her mother-in-law to take care of her grandchild.

The wife wanted her mother-in-law to take care of her grandchild for a year so that the couple could go to work. But she refused, even though she had previously expressed her desire for the grandchild and promised to help with expenses and take care of the grandchild. The husband believed that the child he gave birth to should be taken care of by himself, and that he should not blame his grandparents for refusing to take care of the grandchild.

The article "If you can give birth to a child, you can raise it, why blame your mother-in-law?!" posted on Tuoi Tre Online attracted many comments from readers. The majority of readers said they supported the idea that grandparents cannot be forced to take care of their grandchildren, and that when children are born, parents must be the primary caregivers.

However, many people believe that if grandparents refuse to take care of their grandchildren, they should not interfere or have any opinion about the parents' care and upbringing of the child.

Commenting that there are many different perspectives on giving birth and taking care of a child, reader Ngoc Bich said that if you want everyone to take care of their own business, then don't interfere in each other's business.

This reader wrote: " I think if grandparents don't want to help raise their children, they shouldn't have any opinions about their children's marriage and childbirth. If the couple has enough conditions and financial preparation, they should have children, otherwise, they shouldn't.

Seeing that the couple was not having children, both families urged, criticized, and argued back and forth.

Having a baby and hiring someone to take care of it, or leaving your baby for a few months and then going to work is not cheap. Public schools don't accept children who are too young, and private schools with cameras are expensive. If there are no cameras, you don't know if the child is abused or what is being done.

Women who stay home to take care of their children and don't go to work are not only bored, but also get insulted for being dependent, which is not very nice either.

Reader Xuan shared her story: "I'm from Saigon, generation 8X. I gave birth to 3 children and had to take care of them myself since I came home from the hospital. Needless to say, it was hard, but it worked out!

If you take care of your child yourself, you won't have to argue with your grandmother about different opinions and how you want to raise them. You have to be responsible for your own child, don't expect anything from anyone else."

Expressing sympathy for the wife in the article, reader Smile expressed: "In this situation, I think the wife is in a very difficult situation: If she quits her job to stay home and take care of the children, she will lose her job and have no income. If she goes to work, she will still have work, but the cost of hiring a maid is too much, and her income is not enough to cover all expenses.

Grandma promises to help with childcare, money, etc., so you look forward to this support. When it doesn't come, you feel resentful and blamed.

The husband should understand the family situation and the reason why his wife behaves like that. Of course, having children requires calculation, and should not depend on anyone. You also need to find a way for the two of you to solve family problems in a reasonable, fair and satisfactory way."

Gawei account thinks that the reason the grandmother in the above story refused to take care of her grandchild might be because "taking care of her grandchild after arguing with her daughter is better than arguing with both her daughter-in-law and son".

Reader Nam commented: "Children must live responsibly for themselves and their families. Why do you ask parents to take care of their children? They have worked hard all their lives, and now they are old and cannot rest. If grandparents are healthy and want to take care of their grandchildren, they can, if not, no one can blame or depend on them."

Reader No Name expressed his opinion: "I'm not afraid of grandparents taking care of their grandchildren, I'm just afraid that they won't take care of them the way I want. So, everyone takes care of their own children, don't interfere or give any opinions. Just love them but don't interfere and don't compete to take care of and teach them."

From another perspective, bullma account said: "It's true that each person raises their own child. But if they have the support and care of their grandparents, the relationship between daughter-in-law and parents-in-law will be even better. If each person takes care of their own life, then in the future, each person will also take care of their own life."

What do you think about young couples needing the support of grandparents to raise children? Do you think grandparents should help their children take care of their grandchildren, or enjoy life after retirement? Please share your views at [email protected]. Tuoi Tre Online thanks you.

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