When you fall in love early…

Parents need to pay attention to educating their children about right and wrong, listening and sharing so that the family is always a reliable support in the hearts of their children (illustrative photo).

A few weeks ago, the teacher texted Ms. Mai in Ninh Kieu district about her daughter, H, who is in 9th grade, and has low test scores. In class, H is worried, not focused on studying, and not playing with her friends like before. She asked the parents to cooperate in finding out if H is having any difficulties because when she asked, H did not say anything. Through her daughter's friend, Ms. Mai was surprised to learn that H was heartbroken with a boyfriend who studied at the same school. On February 14 (Valentine's Day), H bought a gift but this friend refused; then on March 8, this friend gave a gift to another girlfriend. Sad because her feelings were not reciprocated, and being teased by her friend, H was depressed, and her studies declined...

Because H did not make friends with his parents on social networks, Ms. Mai tried to access his personal page and some groups he often joined to find out his thoughts. In addition, when checking his room, Ms. Mai discovered that his son had kept in the drawer some pieces of paper with drawings of bleeding hearts, words of longing, resentment, and frustration. I wrote that at night after 1am I texted you without getting a reply, on days when you didn't pay attention to me, everything seemed meaningless... Ms. Mai said: "I read it and felt so sorry for my child, blamed myself for being too subjective, not detecting the incident in time, thinking that my child was still young and didn't know anything. I discussed it with H's aunt, who is a very trusted niece, and skillfully created conditions for my child to express all her feelings. I didn't scold her but encouraged her to overcome her trauma; at the same time, I warned her about the dangers of early love, posed situations, and analyzed so that she would know how to behave and appreciate herself. Now she understands the problem, and promises to focus on studying to get good results for the upcoming important exams."

Ms. Thuy in Cai Rang district has a daughter named Phuong, who is in 11th grade. Currently, Phuong is not only a good student but also a performer of the school, enthusiastically participating in movements. Phuong is lucky to have a thoughtful and understanding mother who has accompanied her to help her overcome the emotional shock. In 9th grade, Phuong really liked a friend in the same neighborhood and made an appointment to take the entrance exam to her dream school. Because her family was well-off, Phuong often gave her gifts, bought her school supplies, and gave her pocket money, putting all her trust in the other person. But then, this friend liked someone else and broke up with Phuong. From an active girl, Phuong became quiet, after school hours she often locked herself in her room, did not contact anyone, and asked to transfer schools.

When she understood the situation, Ms. Thuy rearranged her work and spent time with her child to overcome the crisis. She confided and analyzed the pros and cons so that her child could understand friendship and love in school, and guided her child to practical activities outside to balance her health and spirit. Her mother's love and tolerance were like a warm light that lit the way, helping Phuong regain her confidence and develop her existing strengths. Gradually, Phuong forgot the past, made new friends, supported each other in studying, and always considered her mother as a "troubleshooter" whenever she had problems with communication relationships, friends, etc.

Accidentally checking her son's phone, who is in 9th grade, Ms. Ngoc in Binh Thuy district was shocked to see that her son had made friends with many strangers on social networks, accessed some "dirty" websites, and even called a female classmate "husband, wife", confessed his love, and teased each other with inappropriate words. According to the chat log, her son and this friend had once made a private date... Fearing that her son would fall into harmful content, Ms. Ngoc chatted with and taught her son about issues related to sexual health and safe social networking skills, then installed and blocked unhealthy websites. She also educated her son about the law, warned him about the dangers of going too far so that he would know how to control himself and not act impulsively in love affairs...

“What to do when your child falls in love early?” is a concern that many parents are facing. Children in adolescence, especially middle school age, are in the transitional stage from children to adults, so their bodies and temperaments change a lot, they are easily influenced, they do not have enough awareness and understanding, and they really need adults to guide them so they do not go astray. When children fall in love early, parents should respect their children’s feelings, do not insult, scold or control them too much, causing them to react negatively, but explain to them that at this age, the most important thing is still studying, and they need to maintain pure friendships… Good education and care from the family along with the love of relatives will help children become more steadfast, think more maturely about love as well as build their own future.

Article and photos: KIEU CHINH

Source: https://baocantho.com.vn/khi-con-yeu-som--a184895.html