'Children are shouldering many of the goals of adults'

Many children are being "forced to ripen" and molded into a model of excellent students as desired by adults, according to Dr. Nguyen Chi Hieu.

At the conference on Standardization Machine or Adult Child organized by the IEG education organization on the afternoon of November 18, Stanford University PhD Nguyen Chi Hieu said that students today face a lot of pressure to study and take exams according to the goals set by their parents.

According to him, many primary and secondary school students always carry with them KET, PET, IELTS exam papers - certificates to assess English proficiency, or thick exercise sheets of various subjects, in a lifeless state. Children have to race against time to study at school, exam preparation centers, and gifted classes to meet their parents' expectations.

"From primary school, children have to practice for this or that certificate to have an advantage when applying to good schools when they reach grade 6. In secondary school, children start competing to get into specialized schools, practice IELTS, and then compete to get into universities and study abroad," said Dr. Hieu.

Dr. Nguyen Chi Hieu, CEO of IEG education organization. Photo: Photo: IEG

Dr. Hieu also shared his own story when he started working in education 15 years ago. At first, he taught and trained students for international certificates, but after a few years, he realized that awards, medals, and achievements did not motivate or make many of his students happy. Because that was the goal of their parents.

He once advised a student to take a gap year to explore life around him even though he had been accepted into a top university in the US. This student had studied and achieved all the achievements his parents had set for him, but he only lived around home, school, and test preparation centers without learning or experiencing reality. He also did not see any motivation or desire to explore and learn in this student.

According to Dr. Hieu, every child has good intellectual capacity if adults know how to inspire, nurture and encourage them properly. Students can achieve their learning goals with the support of teachers, if that is what they desire.

Vinh An (far left) at the workshop on the afternoon of November 18. Photo: Le Nguyen

Sharing about this, Pham Nguyen Vinh An, a first-year student at Fulbright University Vietnam, hopes that parents will believe and support their children's choices.

Vinh An said he was lucky to have his mother support him in studying Psychology, but many of his friends faced obstacles from their families when choosing a major. Many wanted to study Arts, Culture, History, but their families forced them to choose Economics because they thought it would be better for their future.

"Parents don't understand that only when we feel interested in the goals we set for ourselves will we devote all our energy to pursuing them. If we follow our parents' goals, we may still achieve them, but we won't be happy," An said.

According to Dr. Hieu, because parents often unconsciously set goals and impose them on their children, whenever they see signs of "derailment", they hastily throw out a "forest" of experiences without listening to their children. Therefore, students do not have space or time to do what they like. Gradually, parents and children lose connection and cannot talk to each other.

"Children today are burdened with too many adult goals. Parents should support their children's goals instead of forcing them to pursue their own desires," Dr. Hieu advised.

According to him, achievements are just a very small slice, not reflecting the whole of a child. 12 years of general education without achievements or awards is fine, as long as students have the ability to self-study, think independently, and know how to take care of themselves, then that is already a success.

Dr. Nguyen Chi Hieu is from Binh Dinh, was selected as the best student in the UK in 2004, and was in the top 100 best students in the world in 2006 when studying at the London School of Economics and Political Science (UK). He then graduated with a PhD in Economics from Stanford University, was valedictorian of his MBA from Oxford University (UK), and then returned to Hanoi to work since 2016.

Le Nguyen

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