Finding a babysitter for a young mother to go back to work is a headache - Illustration: YEN TRINH
Having just brought his mother from the countryside to live at his house in Binh Duong, Mr. Le Vinh (29 years old) said he brought his mother up early to get used to the atmosphere, and next month he will take care of the children while his wife goes back to work.
One person sent her grandmother to take care of her grandchildren, the other sent her children back to the countryside.
Before that, Vinh's wife had been in her husband's hometown for nearly 5 months to take care of their young child. Every weekend, Vinh would return from Binh Duong to visit his hometown. Time passed quickly, and his wife's maternity leave was about to end. The couple thought and discussed, and finally agreed to choose to bring her mother-in-law to take care of the child.
At first, the couple planned to leave the child in the countryside for the grandmother to take care of. But they were afraid that the grandmother would have a hard time taking care of the child alone in the countryside, and that the child would cry and demand his parents. If they hired a maid, it would be both insecure and expensive. And finding the right person was not easy.
Bringing Vinh's mother up to take care of her grandchild was also good for her. His father had passed away a long time ago, and his sister had married far away. In the countryside, only his mother was left, working day and night, and not doing any work. He discussed with his mother about renting a house in the countryside, then moving up to live with him and his wife, close to their children and grandchildren to lessen their loneliness. That way, he and his wife could go to work with peace of mind. When the child started preschool, his grandmother would have free time.
Knowing his plan, some of his colleagues who were pregnant also spoke up that when they returned to work, they would bring their children to his mother for care. Then every month they would send her money, and since they were acquaintances, they felt more secure. Vinh sympathized, but was afraid that his old mother would be even more miserable. After consulting his mother, he only agreed to help one colleague.
For many months now, every evening, people in the neighborhood have become accustomed to seeing Mrs. Nguyen Tham (61 years old, living in Tien Giang) with her grandchild under her left armpit and a bowl of porridge in her right hand walking around the neighborhood. She stops from house to house. "I have to carry her around the neighborhood like that for her to eat," she said.
This is Mrs. Tham's first grandchild. After getting her son married, she and her husband wanted a grandchild but "they hesitated and refused to give birth". Too impatient, she promised "give birth, if you can't raise the baby, send it back to your hometown for your mother to raise".
Her son works in Vung Tau City, her daughter-in-law works in Ho Chi Minh City. The young couple only see each other on weekends when the husband rides his motorbike home. They are usually busy with work and do not live together, so bringing their child to the city right away is something they cannot manage.
"I made a promise so now I have to try to take care of them. Sometimes they don't come home to see their child for two or three months. Now the neighbors tease us, saying that we are both over 60 and why are we still trying to save our youngest child?" Mrs. Tham said with a laugh.
Persuade your husband to take your child to daycare early.
When their second son was 6 months old, Tran Thi Hien (35 years old, living in Hanoi) and her husband thought about it and hired a maid to look after the child, paying 7 million VND per month. "Before that, my grandmother had been living with me since I was born. But because she was old and not used to living in an apartment, and she also had a business in the countryside, she couldn't look after him any longer," she shared.
Moreover, the couple had sent their first child back to the countryside for their grandparents to take care of for more than a year. So the couple did not want their grandparents to have to work harder day and night, even though they loved and pampered their grandchild very much.
Hien finds that having a maid look after her child is expensive and cannot be compared to parents teaching their child or sending the child to daycare. Although the maid is quick and gentle, she is worried about the child's education.
She explained that her child is at an age where he needs careful teaching and care to form habits and personality, but "my husband and I are busy and cannot take care of our child much. It would be better to let him go to class and be taught by a teacher. He also has friends to play with," she confided.
When her child was 1 year old, she started thinking about sending him to daycare. At first, her husband did not agree to let him go to school early, intending to let him go when he was 2 years old. When she told her grandparents, they were also worried. She slowly persuaded him...
So they decided to send their child to daycare when he was 14 months old. At first, the couple was worried. After a short time, the child adapted well. He was well-behaved and excited to go to daycare. In the morning, at 8am, her husband took the child to class and picked him up at around 4:30pm. She said: "The monthly tuition for the child is 3.5 million VND. There are people who sent their child to daycare when he was 1 year old, the situation is fine."
"My child was trained to be independent, easy to eat and sleep from the time he was at home. So when he went to daycare, he adapted well. Many people are afraid that sending their child to daycare when he is too young will make him susceptible to illness. But we think that children often get sick. If we leave our child at home to take care of him, he can still get sick. We shouldn't worry too much," she said.
Will ask for a job transfer and bring the children to live with me.
Recently, Mrs. Nguyen Tham felt like her legs were going to go weak when she heard that her daughter-in-law was pregnant again. Her first grandchild had just turned one, and she was about to raise her daughter-in-law, so she could only "take it as it comes". If she and her husband couldn't handle it, they would send one grandchild back to her parents' house.
Mr. Tuan (26 years old, Mrs. Tham's son) explained: he and his wife considered carefully before having their first child, because both sides of the family had been expecting a grandchild for a long time. He said: "This second child is a failure of our plan."
Because of work, the couple is not close to each other and cannot raise their child, so they feel lacking. In the near future, he will try to ask for a job transfer to an office in Ho Chi Minh City. He will bring his child there to take care of him more conveniently. "If not, I will change jobs," he confided.
Source: https://tuoitre.vn/dau-dau-tim-nguoi-giu-con-de-me-di-lam-lai-20240915093515952.htm
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