'I just hope to sell 50 lottery tickets every day'

The once-famous actress Trang Thanh Xuan's gorgeous image now only exists in her memory. Because of heart disease, she had to stop singing, and because of the burden of making a living, she had to travel far and wide selling lottery tickets to earn a living.

She agreed to meet us at the gate of Phap Thuy Monastery (District 8, Ho Chi Minh City), where the ashes of her sister who passed away not long ago are placed. No longer the famous artist Trang Thanh Xuan of the past, she is now 73 years old, wearing a faded blue outfit, a cloth bag on her shoulder, walking with a limp in the small alley with a cane.

Confiding in VTC News reporters, she shared her life story with sadness and resignation. After the meeting, we offered to drive her from the temple to her boarding house many times, but she always refused. With her current health, getting on and off the bus was very difficult for her, even more difficult than walking.

Artist Trang Thanh Xuan is a famous leading actress in Saigon since the 70s.

Avoid cải lương and colleagues because of inferiority complex

- It's been a long time since cai luong fans had a chance to hear the voice of actress Trang Thanh Xuan, even though there were many requests for her to return to the stage?

I have not returned to the cai luong stage for nearly 40 years. And I will not step on stage again, because perhaps my fate with the profession has been cut off long ago. Now I live with the name Dao Thi Thanh Xuan, please keep Trang Thanh Xuan for 38 years ago.

- Why do you distinguish yourself so clearly?

Since I was 20 years old, I became famous with the name Trang Thanh Xuan. As the main actress, I went to perform with Minh Vuong, Le Thuy, Thanh Kim Hue… from Saigon to neighboring provinces. But for many years I only focused on singing, I did not get married, did not have a house, nor any savings… I must have been the poorest main actress at that time.

In 1986, since I had to retire due to heart disease, I no longer considered myself a cai luong artist Trang Thanh Xuan. There is no artist who cannot stand the sound of drums, trumpets, and stage sounds like me. From then on, I knew my fate with the stage had ended.

After I quit singing, to make a living I boiled corn and pushed a cart to sell it. Before, as an artist, I only knew how to follow the singing troupe, my limbs were weak, now I had to do heavy work, even though I couldn't do it, I still tried. However, the hard work of selling was not favorable, after a while I switched to selling records to make it easier. Selling records was also slow, not long after that I quit.

In 1990, I started selling lottery tickets. The job was suitable for my health and I earned enough to eat. I have been able to live from day to day until now.

Choosing to sell lottery tickets for a living, I never “show off” that I am Trang Thanh Xuan. Even if I lack food and clothing, I will not ask the audience for money. For over 38 years, I have accepted my fate.

- No longer able to stand on stage, do you miss your job and your old colleagues?

Before, if compared, I also had a golden age, not inferior to anyone. But maybe it was my fate, there was no way to change it.

When I first retired from singing, I missed my job so much. Listening to Vu Linh sing made my heart ache. I missed everyone, I missed Xuan Lan, Minh Vuong… Most of them were stable and at peace. I was probably the only one who was unstable and unlucky, but I was happy for everyone.

Even though we had a close working relationship, that was a thing of the past. Now, other people are doing this or that while I sell lottery tickets. I feel so sad that I don't dare to get close to them.

Nearly 40 years have passed, everything has calmed down, but life is still unstable, making me feel ashamed and guilty in front of my old colleagues, so I don't want to see everyone again.

Even if people meet and remember me, there is still a distance. So for a long time I have not stepped on stage or watched TV.

Trang Thanh Xuan's golden age only remains in the memories of music lovers because she has completely "cut off" her ties with the cai luong stage for nearly 40 years.

Just hope to sell 50 lottery tickets every day

- After your sister passed away, with no relatives left, how was your life?

Before, when my sister was alive, my sister and I relied on each other, barely getting through the days. Now that she is gone, I have to shoulder the rent, electricity and water bills, and a large debt. This debt was borrowed when my sister was in the hospital and had to pay for medicine for more than 2 months.

Even though my sister had insurance, the extra money was too much for me. It's been a while since my sister passed away, but I still haven't paid off all my debts.

Every day I still sell lottery tickets regularly, even when I am sick or in the hospital, I don't dare take a day off. But recently I can't sell as well as before because of my bone and joint problems. I walk slower, limping from morning to afternoon. If I'm lucky, I can sell 60 or 70 tickets, but if I'm really sore, I can still get 50 tickets, enough for food, room, and debt payments.

- Your income is unstable, do you receive any additional support?

Now I eat whatever people give me. If I don't have enough rent, I will borrow money to pay in advance, or ask the landlord to delay it for a few days, sell lottery tickets and collect enough to pay it back. When I'm sick, it's even harder.

People don't understand and think that she is a burden to me, but that's not true. When she is sick, no one knows and I have to take responsibility for her, now I am in debt. Before, there were two sisters, life was sometimes hungry, sometimes full but still good, having an older sister and younger sister selling lottery tickets together was better, life was not as miserable as it is now.

Sometimes I get support from benefactors and the Artists' Association, but now I have many old-age illnesses, everyone's help is like "wind in an empty house".

The worry had just subsided when the illness came again. I also knew that there were many people out there who were suffering more than me, and no one could be there to help me all the time.

I also don’t want to “sell my story” to gain sympathy. Many people say why don’t I act miserable and ragged so that people can sympathize with me. I am poor but I absolutely cannot be mean and sloppy.

- Why did you refuse to go to the Artist Nursing Home to be taken care of in your old age and not have to struggle to make a living anymore?

Even if I had enough money to go to a nursing home, I still couldn't go. Because I still had debts outside. Now that I'm in there, I don't have to worry about food or shelter, but I can't sell lottery tickets. How can I pay them without money?

For over 34 years, the two sisters have supported each other, but now she has left me first, and gone into that sadness, I can't stand it. Here I am, going to the market every day to sell lottery tickets and meeting this person and that person is also considered a consolation in old age.

The room where I live with my sister is now my home because there are still memories of us. When I entered the nursing home in the new place, I felt sad and missed my sister so much that I couldn't go in.

Because of her sister's debt and fear of being confined, Trang Thanh Xuan chose not to go to the nursing home even though life outside was not very comfortable.

- What is your joy in life now?

Honestly, I don’t know what my happiness is anymore. Maybe my happiness is waking up in the morning and still having the strength to pick up 50 lottery tickets to sell, or someone giving me a lunch box or a cake to eat for a meal. Sometimes I feel so depressed, but what can I do now? I can’t blame anyone or my fate.

Everyone has wishes, but I know everything is far away from me. People often ask me what my last wish is. Now I just hope to not owe anyone anything, not have to worry about food or medicine when I'm sick...

Artist Trang Thanh Xuan's real name is Dao Thi Thanh Xuan, born into a poor artist family.
From a young age, Trang Thanh Xuan was passionate about reformed opera. She and her parents followed theater troupes touring throughout the South. Thanks to her natural talent, by the age of 20 she was the leading actress in many classic plays.
At her peak more than 40 years ago, Trang Thanh Xuan's name was only behind famous artists such as Minh Vuong, Bach Le, Thanh Kim Hue... She also performed with the talented artist Thanh Sang.
The role associated with Trang Thanh Xuan's name, most mentioned is the role of Bach Thanh Nga in the play Blood dyed temple yard , sung with artists Minh Tam and Vu Linh.
The female artist used to perform in the Hoa The Le opera troupe, playing the main role instead of artist Phuong Mai. After that, she transferred to the Thai Duong troupe and then performed in many other troupes.
In the 70s, Trang Thanh Xuan was a frequent presence in newspapers. She emerged as a phenomenon in the reformed opera world and was noticed by audiences thanks to her beautiful appearance and soulful voice.
Many people admire Trang Thanh Xuan, every day she receives dozens of letters from the audience asking for her photos.

Trinh Trang

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