"I have already bought the plane tickets, only one day left to fly back home. But until today, my two daughters still have the intention of not going back home for Tet."
During Tet, everyone wants their children and grandchildren to be together like this. According to experts, when bringing their children back to their hometown for Tet, parents also need to guide and create an environment for their children to integrate into life in the countryside - Photo: H.HG.
The above sentiment is not only shared by Ms. Nguyen Thi Hanh (in Tan Phu district, Ho Chi Minh City) but also by many families in the city.
My grandparents' house doesn't have WiFi.
Ms. Hanh said: "Just because of going back to the countryside to celebrate Tet with her grandparents, my whole family has been in turmoil and discord for a whole month. My two daughters don't want to go back. My husband and I tried our best to persuade, explain, analyze... Then we argued. Then my husband got angry when my daughter said frankly: "Everything in the countryside is dirty, I can't stand it. Sitting in the yard eating, I can only smell the smell of pigsty and chicken coops." That day, if I hadn't stopped him in time, he would have slapped my daughter."
Similarly, Mr. Hong Minh (in District 8, Ho Chi Minh City) shared: "When the children were young, my husband and I had a hard time, we didn't dare to go back to our hometown during Tet. Now that life is better, my two children are grown up (Mr. Minh's children are in 6th and 8th grade), they don't have to take care of their food and sleep like before, but they don't want to go back to their hometown with their parents. The older sister used the excuse that it was too cold in the countryside, so she asked to stay in Ho Chi Minh City. The younger brother said that there were too many insects in the countryside, lots of flies and mosquitoes, every year when the children returned, they were bitten by mosquitoes and swollen for a whole week. The two children said: Mom and Dad, go back to your hometown to enjoy Tet, we can take care of ourselves."
On the forum for parents with children in middle and high school these days, many fathers and mothers said they are having a headache about going back to their hometowns to celebrate Tet. "While I look forward to going back to my hometown every day, my children are indifferent. While the elders in the countryside count the days, preparing everything for their children and grandchildren to return, my grandchildren insist that they want to celebrate Tet in the city. They give all kinds of reasons: the countryside is not convenient, the toilet is outside the bedroom, at night when I want to go to the toilet, it takes time to open the door and I am afraid of snakes when I have to go through a garden. Then the countryside is too boring, there is nothing to do. At night, I stay inside the house, there are no street lights outside like in the city" - Ms. Phuong, who lives in Bien Hoa City, Dong Nai Province, said.
According to Ms. Phuong: "My children also suggested that we welcome grandparents to celebrate Tet with our family, but it is not necessary for our family to return to our hometown every year. They also analyzed that during Tet season, people often travel from the Southern provinces to the Northern provinces to celebrate Tet, so the airfare is high. If parents buy tickets for grandparents to fly from the North to the South, the price will be much cheaper because fewer people travel."
In addition, Ms. Phuong Lan's child, who lives in Thu Duc City, Ho Chi Minh City, compared: "My grandparents' house in the countryside doesn't have WiFi, the phone is like a brick, I don't know what to do during Tet. If I stayed in the city, I would be able to play games freely, much more enjoyable."
Agreement to go home together for Tet
After the final exam results of the first semester of the 2024-2025 school year were released, Mr. Duong's daughter (in Go Vap district, Ho Chi Minh City) sent her parents a letter via Zalo stating that this year she did not get good results in the exam, so she asked permission not to return home to celebrate Tet with her parents.
"It turns out that for the past few years, my daughter has been very uncomfortable and under a lot of pressure from her aunts and uncles in the countryside asking about her studies. The thing is, my daughter is not as good at studying as her older siblings, so she is often compared and criticized. Last year, she was criticized for being slow, and even though she was a 10th grader, she was still not proficient in cooking. This year, she continued to get a good grade, not an excellent student, so she is self-conscious and does not want to go back to her hometown," said Mr. Duong.
"But my family has several siblings who work far away, and on Tet holiday, my parents expect their children and grandchildren to return home for a reunion, so I can't not return. This year, I convinced my daughter to come back, and I will have a way to talk to my grandparents and aunts and uncles so they don't mention school anymore," said Mr. Duong.
Meanwhile, Ms. Kim Phuong, who lives in District 7, Ho Chi Minh City, agreed with her child that she would install WiFi at her grandparents' house in the countryside so that during Tet, her child could entertain himself online, but not for more than 2.5 hours a day. "My family will be away for the whole year, so during Tet, we cannot spend all our time on the phone, but must spend time talking to our grandparents and participating in family activities to celebrate Tet," Ms. Phuong told her child.
Mr. Hong Minh and his wife had a dialogue with their two children about what they like and dislike about going home for Tet and solutions.
"Finally, my husband and I have reached an agreement with our two children. First, their mother will buy mosquito repellent to apply on them. Second, we admit that the countryside is not as convenient as the city, but there are many interesting things in the countryside that our parents have not let us participate in because they thought our children were still young.
This year, your parents will take you two to the Tet market in your hometown, clean the green beans, wash the leaves to wrap banh chung… The family will organize meals and entertainment so that the whole family can watch the pot of banh chung, not just the adults taking turns staying up to watch. Your parents will also not force you two to go to Tet greetings every day, but will spend 2 days taking you to visit the scenic spots in your hometown, taking you to the Tet festival, and recalling your parents' childhood memories" - Mr. Minh planned to convince his children.
Expert opinion: Create a "habit" of going home for Tet
According to psychologist Nguyen Thi My Linh, when bringing children back to their hometown for Tet, parents also need to guide and create an environment for their children to integrate into life in the countryside - Photo: H.HG.
In order for children to not feel shy when going back to their hometown to celebrate Tet with their grandparents, parents need to create a "habit" for their children from a young age. Every Tet, it is the duty of children to go back to their hometown to visit their grandparents. If finances do not allow them to go back to their hometown every year, they should go back to their hometown to celebrate Tet once every 2 or 3 years.
Parents need to tell their children about their childhood memories in the countryside, about the sacrifices their grandparents made so that their parents could be where they are today. They should visit their grandparents at least once a year, but due to circumstances, our family will visit them once every 2 years; once every 3 years... How can we make our children understand that the reunion during Tet is not only a custom but also an emotion and responsibility of children and grandchildren? Parents need to proactively play a connecting role so that their children have a close relationship with their grandparents, and want to visit them, especially when welcoming the new year.
In addition, when taking children back to their hometowns for Tet, parents also need to guide and create an environment for their children to integrate into life in the countryside: let them interact, interact, and participate in fun activities with siblings, neighbors of the same age; talk about the traditions and customs of Tet so that children can understand and connect with relatives; take children to participate in Tet activities in the countryside so that they can better understand the culture and people of the place where their parents were born and raised...
In cases where children refuse to return home for Tet, it is necessary to explain to them that there are 365 days in a year and our family can only return home to be near grandparents for a few days. That parents must balance between raising children and taking care of grandparents...
In addition, parents should also note that some children know how to observe and look at the attitudes of adults to behave. For example, when the mother plans to go home to celebrate Tet with her grandparents, the father discusses it or shows reluctance and unwillingness. Thus, the children will also be hesitant when having to go home...
(Master of Psychology Nguyen Thi My Linh)
Source: https://tuoitre.vn/nha-ong-ba-khong-co-wifi-con-khong-thich-ve-que-an-tet-20250124074413325.htm
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