Keeping the conversation with your mother-in-law easy, respectful, and having an open line of communication is the best way to go.
In fact, it is entirely possible to build a good relationship with your mother-in-law, even if you don't always agree with her.
When establishing and maintaining a relationship with your mother-in-law, there are a few principles that all healthy relationships should follow. This will help you maintain a positive relationship with your mother-in-law, as well as help you resolve things smoothly when tensions arise.
Set boundaries
Boundaries are a set of rules you need to have to be happy in a relationship. Are you comfortable with your mother-in-law dropping by unannounced? Are you okay with unsolicited advice? If the answer is no, you need to set some ground rules with your mother-in-law to let her know that you are not comfortable with her behavior.
Although setting boundaries can be a little awkward and uncomfortable, it is necessary to avoid troublesome situations in the long run.
For example, if your mother-in-law comes over without notice, you can say, “Oh, I’m in the middle of something. I’d love to spend time with you, but I’m busy right now. If you come over on Saturday, I won’t be so busy, and we can have a great conversation then.”
Thanks to the help of her husband
If you have trouble getting your mother-in-law to respect or understand your boundaries, talk to your husband about it and ask him to talk to her.
It is important that you and he come together. To achieve this, it is best to try to express your thoughts in a non-accusatory way.
“I feel a little uncomfortable when your mom comes over and looks through all our stuff. Would you mind talking to her about it?” The best scenario is that your husband feels the same way and can work through the issue together.
Try talking directly to your mother-in-law.
Some people believe that it is best to deal with mother-in-law issues yourself rather than having your spouse constantly play the role of “referee.” This will help your husband feel less stressed and he will be able to stick by your side anyway.
If your mother-in-law crosses the line, don't be afraid to state your opinion and be as constructive as possible.
Establish mutual respect
If you already have a good relationship with your mother-in-law, maintaining mutual respect will help things go well. Even if you find it difficult to feel it, at least showing mutual respect will help you in your relationship with your mother-in-law. Ways to show respect in a relationship include:
- Active listening: Make eye contact with your mother-in-law while she is speaking and occasionally ask questions or give comments to show that you are listening.
- No abusive behavior: If you want your mother-in-law to treat you well, never curse, scold, or otherwise abuse her.
Stay positive
According to a study in the Journal of Western Communication, when daughters-in-law make an effort to regularly let their mothers-in-law meet their grandchildren, the relationship is less likely to be troubled. Additionally, when they find some common ground in their relationship and views on family and child-rearing, things go much more smoothly.
Try to schedule time with your mother-in-law and continue to look for common ground with her; in most cases, that will make the situation better.
In other words, focus on the positives, if there are any. Focusing on your mother-in-law's negative behaviors will only make you angry and agitated. You can't control how your mother-in-law acts or feels, so don't worry about it. Don't let it affect how you feel about yourself.
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/5-loi-khuyen-giup-nang-dau-chinh-phuc-me-chong-kho-tinh-17224062910285878.htm
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