*The story of Mr. Ta, 70 years old in China, caused a stir in the online community.
The dilemma of the eldest brother in the family
I was born into a family of 7 siblings. As the eldest child, I am the pride of my parents and respected by my 6 younger siblings. They discuss all family matters with me first. Perhaps because to them, I am a calculating, knowledgeable, generous, and reasonable person.
My parents are just ordinary workers, working hard all their lives to raise 7 children to adulthood. In their hearts, my parents are the greatest people in the world. When they are old, they live in their own house, but my husband and I often visit them. We wholeheartedly take care of my father as best we can.
While my father was sick, as the eldest brother in the family, I tried to take care of him as much as I could. Every time I got off work, I would immediately go to the hospital to take good care of him.
When my father passed away, my mother insisted on living alone and taking care of herself. At that time, every weekend I visited and cooked for her.
By the time she was 86, old age had made it impossible for her to take care of herself.
Because my mother's house was quite far from ours, the best solution at that time was for my brothers to take turns taking my mother home to take care of her. I also thought that was reasonable, but my wife firmly objected.
My wife said that her health was not only not good enough to take care of her mother, but also had an adverse effect. Moreover, the generation gap and the elderly were difficult to please, so conflicts were likely to arise. Furthermore, my wife's work was quite busy, so she could not take care of my mother wholeheartedly.
Despite many discussions, my wife still firmly opposed this. Helpless, I gave in. In fact, I myself know how difficult it is to care for the elderly. The time I spent in the hospital taking care of my father was also extremely tiring and difficult to arrange work.
Disagreement in caring for elderly mother
My six younger siblings took turns bringing their mother home to take care of her. When it was my turn, I had to suggest: "Sister-in-law's health is not good, and her work is busy, so she can't take care of her mother. Why don't you contribute some more money..."
But one of the younger brothers immediately objected: "We are not as rich as you, but I think we both have a shared responsibility for taking care of our mother."
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At this point, I suggested that my mother be sent to a nursing home. After much discussion, my siblings agreed.
Since moving my mother to the nursing home, I have been visiting her every weekend. Every time she sees me, she says she doesn't like the hospital and wants to go home. I can only advise her that she needs time to adjust. Gradually, she stops complaining to me.
But my sister told me that my mother living in a nursing home caused more and more problems. One day, my sister told me to take my mother home. After the whole family discussed, except for my wife's objection, my youngest uncle and his wife insisted on taking my mother to live with them. Everyone else was neutral.
Before my siblings took their mother home, no one discussed it with me. Because of this, I was angry with them for a long time. My husband and I also went to visit our youngest sibling, but we felt that they were not welcomed, so we gradually stopped going. Even though my siblings were financially poor, they refused every time I expressed my desire to help financially.
Every year, I give my nephew 1,000 yuan (equivalent to 3.4 million VND) as lucky money, but every time he insists on returning it. Our relationship was like that until my mother passed away.
The reconciliation meal and the bitter ending
This year I turned 60. Time flies, I thought I would take this opportunity to improve my relationship with my brothers. At this age, I realized that family is very important. I planned to invite everyone to a friendly dinner, then organize a trip with the whole family. But what happened was unexpected.
On my birthday, I booked 10 tables and sent invitations to my 6 younger siblings' families. But unexpectedly, no one came that day. Only 2 of the 10 tables were used, including my husband and I, my son's family, my wife's parents and relatives. At that time, I felt very embarrassed but still had to suppress my discomfort, pretending that nothing was happening. When the party was over, my son revealed that my 6 younger siblings' families all went to my youngest brother's house for a housewarming party because my uncle had just built a new house. The reason they didn't come to my birthday was because of me.
Thinking back, when my father was sick, I was the one who took care of him the most, but when it was my mother's turn, due to the actual situation, I didn't dare to take care of her. My siblings sympathized with me and treated me like that. I don't know how I should have behaved anymore.
Lapis Lazuli
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/cu-ong-u60-dat-10-ban-tiec-to-chuc-sinh-nhat-nhung-6-anh-em-khong-ai-toi-ly-do-gay-soc-172250120072133226.htm
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