Although he passed the interview and was accepted, Duc Cuong decided to send an email refusing to go to work because of the manager's unpleasant attitude towards the way he dressed.
"At that time, I thought I couldn't change my favorite style just to get a job," said Nguyen Duc Cuong, 23, in Hanoi.
Cuong loves hip hop so he prefers a rugged style with dyed blonde hair, a nose ring, earrings and tattoos on both arms. "I also often wear ripped jeans and get criticized for being rebellious," he said.
Cuong's way of dressing often attracts judgmental looks from passersby. But he says he understands people's thoughts and doesn't feel bothered until he gets into trouble when applying for a job.
Last year, he was called for an interview for a position as a technology employee at a company. The interviewer was a female department head in her 40s. "As soon as she saw me, she showed an unpleasant attitude, even though I was wearing a polo shirt that day and not ripped jeans," Cuong recalled.
After a few questions and on-site practice, seeing that the candidate had done well, the interviewer seemed more open. However, she said she would hire Cuong on the condition that he dye his hair to a less bright color and remove his piercings. After two days of thinking, the young man decided to send an email refusing the job.
Thanh Nga takes a souvenir photo during a trip in 2023. Photo provided by the character
Thanh Nga, 28 years old, cannot forget the sad memory of 6 years ago when she was a young teacher. That day, she had just driven to the school gate when the vice principal yelled at her: "You come to teach dressed like this? Go home and change into something else."
The girl was surprised and turned away in shame and self-esteem. While driving away and crying, Nga couldn't think of what to wear to please her teacher and be confident, so she decided to quit her job.
Thanh Nga studied foreign languages in Hanoi. She has an artistic tattoo on her neck, dyed her hair and likes to wear feminine flared skirts. After two years working in the city, she moved back to her hometown to open her own evening English class to be closer to her parents. "I had free time during the day so people advised me to go to work to have relationships. So I applied to a secondary school near my house," Thanh said.
But every time she appeared at school, she always became the center of attention of the vice principal because of her appearance. Although she dressed modestly, every time she went to school, people criticized her for her skirt being too loose or too colorful. "Maybe the principal didn't like me from the beginning because of my tattoos and dyed hair, that's why he was so harsh," Nga said.
Unlike Nga, Le Nhu Quynh in Ho Chi Minh City has trouble with her parents' strong objections to her tattoos and the way she dresses. At the age of 18, Quynh Nhu marked her adulthood with a tattoo of a sunflower, a sleeping baby, and an infinity sign with the word Family written on it, longer than a finger.
"When my mother saw the tattoo, she kept scolding me and asking me which gang I joined and why I didn't remove it. Would I be killed if I removed it?" said the Gen Z girl, whose parents are teachers in Ho Chi Minh City.
At the peak of her anger, Quynh Nhu's mother forced her to get in the car and take her to the tattoo removal shop. Unexpectedly, the cost was too high, so she had to call her husband to consult. "Let her decide. Whether she gets a job in the future or not is her own responsibility," Quynh Nhu's father said. Of course, their daughter decided to keep the tattoo.
In recent years, she has been working out and working as a fitness trainer, so she is more confident with her body. Quynh Nhu has started to pursue a sporty-chic style such as crop tops, sport bras combined with wide pants or sweatpants. Seeing her daughter wearing clothes that reveal her navel and low-cut chest, Quynh Nhu's mother warned her, "If you wear revealing clothes like that, people will say you are not decent."
Not only her family, but also those around her said they "lost sympathy" when they saw Quynh Nhu's tattoo. She was often told to her face that she was "a copycat, hanging out with gangsters". Like her father, many people warned her that she was depriving herself of job opportunities because of her appearance.
Quynh Nhu wears an off-shoulder dress, showing off a small tattoo on her arm. Photo: Character provided
Psychologist Hong Huong (Association for the Protection of Children's Rights) said that today, society has a more open view of the dressing style and lifestyle of young people, but generational differences still cause disagreements.
"Many young people are stereotyped as bad just because they express their personality through their appearance," said Ms. Huong.
A survey by VnExpress with nearly 2,000 readers showed that nearly 50% said they did not want to work with people with tattoos on their bodies. However, according to expert Hong Huong, appearance only shows personality, style, and sometimes a person's emotional chart, but cannot judge that person's character.
"Social norms change over time, trends are like water. You cannot impose the norms of one generation on another," she said.
Psychologist Dao Le Tam An, a PhD student in Psychology at Ho Chi Minh City University of Education, explains that "labeling" young people who dye their hair, get tattoos or piercings as being trendy or spoiled is actually a mechanism to "save brain energy" that makes us like things that follow common standards and be surprised, even annoyed, when someone does something different.
This bridging thinking is also often reinforced and proven correct when reading newspapers and news and easily seeing images of spoiled youth gathering in gangs with similar manifestations.
Mr. An believes that thinking straight from form to essence will create prejudice, cause inhibition, and injustice. Especially when young people are not yet adults, being labeled will make them feel that the family is no longer a safe, understanding place, thereby widening the generation gap. "Inhibition can become a potentially dangerous act of resistance," Mr. An warns.
At work, according to Ms. Hong Huong, when being judged like Cuong or Thanh, young people will feel their self-esteem is hurt and they will not be able to adapt to the new environment. "On the contrary, if you judge others based on their appearance, you will miss the opportunity to understand more about them, lose the chance to have a good friend, colleague, or employee," she said.
Sociologist Dr. Pham Thi Thuy, National Academy of Public Administration, Ho Chi Minh City branch, believes that young people are the main factor shaping future society, the previous generation should not impose and will not be able to impose on them.
Instead of judging and wanting young people to do as they please, adults should share about respect and codes of conduct. "Young people should be shaped about the line between recklessness and personal freedom," she said.
Sharing the same opinion, expert Hong Huong advises young people to express their personality is good, but they must adapt to each environment, suitable to the circumstances and specific work to develop themselves and contribute to social progress.
Gen Z should also persuade and explain their style to adults, and listen respectfully, selectively, and accept beneficial advice, instead of reacting in a conflict-inducing manner.
Students of a university in Hanoi chat on campus on March 23. Photo: Pham Nga
Initially determined to stick to a rugged style, after being discriminated against several times in the workplace, Duc Cuong chose a different path. He removed his nose ring and earrings during interviews and on his first days at work. Once he became close to his colleagues and proved his abilities, he became a little more himself each day.
"A few weeks later, my hair was on fire again. A few days later, I got earrings and then a nose ring. Now everyone at the company is used to my real style, and no one is upset," Cuong said.
After quitting her job because she was scolded in front of her colleagues, Thanh Nga realized that it was not her fault, the dress was not her fault, it was just that the vice principal's point of view was not suitable for someone who loves freedom and being herself like her. The girl who currently lives and works in Singapore decided to just find a suitable place to experience, freely do what she likes, without making others uncomfortable.
Nhu Quynh, on the other hand, still keeps her tattoos and pursues a style of dress that is criticized as "bad", but she has found a well-paid, modern job. There, her colleagues and boss also have tattoos, piercings and dyed hair.
Pham Nga
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