Rarely does a girl in love think much about her future mother-in-law, whom she has never met. (Photo: ITN).
Recently, researchers have discovered a rather strange phenomenon regarding the mother-in-law - daughter-in-law relationship. Specifically, when this relationship has conflicts, the fundamental problem often belongs to... the mother-in-law.
The suffering of mother-in-law in the 4.0 era
Some families fall into constant quarrels, but once the mother-in-law is out of the picture, things seem to calm down.
Why is it that when a conflict occurs between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law, it is fundamentally the mother-in-law's problem? What is the nature of the relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law? Is there any way to resolve or avoid it?
Xiaomei was a very lively and smiling girl when she first started working at NetEase - a platform that provides information storage services.
Later, like many other girls, Xiaomei experienced blind dates, love, marriage, childbirth, and the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law began.
Xiaomei has been working at the company for 8 years now and her child is now 5 years old. Her colleagues have clearly seen the change in her: she smiles less and less and has an erratic temperament after getting married, especially after having children.
Xiaomei used to have a very harmonious relationship with her colleagues, they often went out to eat together, but now her colleagues are reluctant to communicate with her. Everyone has heard her complain about her mother-in-law and husband.
In most of the stories, she spoke ill of her mother-in-law. Therefore, everyone agreed that it was her mother-in-law's fault that turned a girl who loved to laugh and had a pleasant personality into the shrewish girl she is today!
Why do many people think it is the mother-in-law's problem? First, look at the state. After a girl gets married, the brightness in her eyes seems to disappear. It is easy to think that a person's state changes because of others, for example, if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a conflict, it is caused by the mother-in-law.
In fact, in today's era, the channels for the elderly to communicate are limited. Even if they tell their children and grandchildren at home, the young people do not pay much attention. Meanwhile, the complaints of daughters-in-law sometimes spread very quickly on the Internet!
Moreover, older people are not good at using the Internet, so they have few opportunities to “blame” their daughters-in-law. This gives people the feeling that “most of the problems between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law lie with the mother-in-law.”
But, does the problem between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really lie with the mother-in-law? Where is its root?
Causes of conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
When mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law live together and have big differences in living habits and do not want to change or tolerate each other, they often resort to arguing to achieve the desired results. (Photo: ITN).
Problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are really hard to avoid, because there are too many factors behind it. In the past, the mother-in-law was often the one who controlled the family finances and was strict with her daughter-in-law.
Although the current mother-in-law is not like that, in order to show her role as mother-in-law, some mothers-in-law still have high demands on their daughters-in-law, which leads to tension between the two generations. Therefore, this is indeed a mother-in-law problem.
Rarely does a girl in love think much about her future mother-in-law, whom she has never met. But there are mothers-in-law who actually think about how to deal with their daughter-in-law before they even know who she is.
In many families, the “head of the family” is usually the mistress, that is, the mother-in-law. Having a daughter-in-law has begun to change the “wind direction” of the family. For example, the son that the mother cares about the most may no longer listen to her but to the daughter-in-law. This feeling of disparity will cause the mother-in-law to make things more difficult for the daughter-in-law.
In addition, cultural differences are also a problem. The educational level of today's younger generation is generally much higher than that of previous generations. Because of cultural differences, there will be relatively large differences in communication and attitudes towards issues between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law.
Differences in values are also a factor that triggers conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Differences in values are often reflected in the way children are raised. Some elders insist on adopting old-fashioned ways of raising children, but daughters-in-law think that it is unscientific. Differences in values easily lead to arguments.
The same goes for differences in living habits. Sometimes the mother-in-law is used to being frugal while the daughter-in-law buys whatever she likes. The mother-in-law doesn't want to throw things away, while the daughter-in-law hates having things piled up everywhere in the house...
When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together and have big differences in living habits and do not want to change or be tolerant, they often resort to arguing to achieve the desired results.
The problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law nowadays is actually much better than before. What we need to do is to know what we want and then solve the problem in a targeted way. Of course, the husband also plays a very important role in this.
Only when the family is in harmony can everything prosper. This is absolutely true for the relationship between husband and wife as well as between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/noi-kho-cua-me-chong-thoi-40-172241011215137538.htm
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