3 seemingly good traits that can easily make your child indecisive and lacking in initiative

(Dan Tri) - The following personality traits seem harmless, but if not well controlled, your child can easily become indecisive, lacking in stance, and only "focusing" on pleasing others.

Always thinking of ways to please others, even accepting disadvantages and inconveniences for oneself, is a sign of a people pleaser. People with this personality tend to prioritize the needs of others over their own needs.

People who like to please others often do not know how to refuse, they are afraid of offending the other person, damaging the relationship. People-pleasing can cause fatigue, disadvantage for the person with this personality trait.

If you notice your child has the following characteristics, parents need to help their child make appropriate changes.

He always agrees with people around him and appears to be very easy-going.

People who always like to please others are easily loved but bring themselves a lot of trouble (Illustration: iStock).

In a group of friends, when members come together to make choices, if your child always seems easygoing, accepting others to choose for him, and not confident in expressing his own wishes and opinions, that is the first sign to recognize.

According to American psychologist Joseé Muldrew, children who always agree with other people's opinions can make parents think that their children are gentle and easy-going.

However, this personality trait will have the downside that the child does not confidently express his/her opinions, even though this may have a negative impact on the child. Gradually, the child easily ignores his/her own needs.

What parents should teach their children: In group interactions, when each member can give their opinion, encourage your child to confidently express his or her thoughts and desires.

I never ask for help.

People-pleasing can be tiring and detrimental (Illustration: iStock).

People pleasers are often reluctant to ask for help. This trait may make you think your child is independent. However, this may not be the case, and your child may be afraid to ask for help, afraid of becoming a burden to others.

This psychological trait may stem from the child’s experiences in everyday life. If parents are too busy and often unable to support their child in time, the child will gradually learn to forget about his or her own need for support.

Children will learn to cope even with things that are beyond their ability. This psychological trait can stay with them for a long time, and they will grow up to be reluctant to ask others for help, even when they need it.

What parents should teach their children: If you realize that your child is shy about asking for help, take the initiative to help them get used to it. For example, when eating out or shopping, let your child be the one to communicate with the waiter when they need some support. From these easy experiences, your child will gradually learn the appropriate way to ask for help.

In addition, in some light, interesting tasks, parents should advise their children to ask a family member or a close friend to help them, such as planning a birthday party together or coming up with ideas and preparing gifts for relatives and friends. From such experiences, children will gradually feel more comfortable offering help.

I try to maintain problematic relationships.

If you notice that your child is always trying to please others, parents need to help them make appropriate changes (Illustration: iStock).

People pleasers often try to maintain relationships that are full of potential problems. Even if the relationship is not good, causing a lot of trouble and discomfort, they still cannot bear to end the relationship.

Sincerity and patience are reserved for those who deserve it. If your child shows signs of always giving in, constantly ignoring when he is treated badly in friendships or other relationships, you need to help him understand the problem.

People who are willing to maintain relationships with too many problems are often not strong enough to set their own tolerance limits. They accept to endure bad attitudes and behaviors directed at them without any necessary resistance.

What parents should teach their children: Not all relationships can last long after they start. If your child feels bad when being with someone, it is a sign that he needs to re-establish the limits in this relationship. For example, the frequency of meeting, the way of interacting... Even if bad experiences continue to appear, your child needs to learn to stop the relationship.

Source: https://dantri.com.vn/giao-duc/3-tinh-cach-tuong-tot-nhung-de-khien-con-tro-nen-ba-phai-thieu-chu-kien-20241227101705054.htm