Many people worry and panic before reaching middle age. What will help you be happier and more confident in the second half of your life?
Tess Brigham is a psychotherapist in San Francisco and author of "True You: A Step-by-Step Guide to Conquering Your Midlife Crisis." Here's what she had to say about her own "midlife crisis":
There's nothing wrong with everyone "craving" youth, especially women. So when I turned 40, my natural instinct was to be scared.
I started thinking about how time was running out and whether I should start experimenting with cosmetic surgery.
I don't think I'll live to be 100 and I don't want to - but these worries are constantly in the back of my mind.
However, as I actually turned 50, I noticed a change: I began to feel more and more at peace with who I had become and the choices I had made.
Tess Brigham
Now that I'm 50 and working as a therapist, I'm grateful that I've come a long way in ways I never expected. Here's why I'm happier than ever at 50:
1. I am much more confident
In my 20s and 30s, I would lie awake at night thinking about bad interactions at work. I would beat myself up over things I did or didn’t say. But, in my 40s, I stopped caring what other people thought. My self-worth was more important than what others thought.
I also have a strong sense of what my life and work goals are. After 20 years of working experience, I can tailor my own work style and how I handle situations with my clients.
2. No more obsessing about the future
In my 20s, I had a lot of questions and doubts. Would I find the right job? Would I meet the right partner? Would I have children? Would I even want children? Would I be able to buy a house? I was so afraid of making the wrong choices.
But all those big life events eventually happened. I found a career and got married. I had my son and bought my own house. I'm excited about what's next, like watching my son and daughter grow up and spending more time with my husband - we just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary!
Turning 50 is like the third season of a show. It may not turn out the way you thought it would, but you finally get a good grasp of the characters and the structure, and you can see where things are going.
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3. I have a "360 degree" view of life
One of the harder parts of turning 50 is that there are days when I have to juggle raising my kids and caring for my 80-year-old mother. But being a parent and caring for my parents has helped me understand and appreciate my own life more.
As I was able to understand my parents on a new level, many of my childhood hurts and frustrations slowly melted away. Seeing my parents grow older and more vulnerable made me see them with more love.
At the same time, because working with young people gives us the opportunity to help the next generation make choices that they feel good about.
4. I know that no matter what happens, I will be okay.
The thing about getting older is that you've been through enough trials and fought enough battles to know that when times get tough, you'll weather the storm. I have 50 years worth of skills to draw on when I'm faced with a problem.
I've had setbacks: failed career opportunities, medical diagnoses, my son's struggles with mental health issues, the unexpected loss of two friends. But I've overcome them all.
I know how to feel my emotions, process sadness, and speak to myself with kindness and compassion. I can recognize when it's time to wipe away my tears and move forward. I know what I'm capable of.
And I am proud to be 50. I am learning to accept my age, with or without plastic surgery. My best advice is not to be afraid of getting older. It means you are wiser, calmer and more knowledgeable in many ways. It is the best thing that can happen to you.
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/tung-lo-so-truoc-sinh-nhat-tuoi-50-4-dieu-da-xay-ra-giup-cuoc-doi-toi-thay-doi-binh-yen-luc-ve-gia-172250108151613304.htm
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