I am 61 years old, have been taking care of my grandchild for 6 years, asked my daughter-in-law to give me 11 million VND/month, was blamed for being "greedy for money"

The story posted on the Toutiao forum (China's social network) attracted attention when sharing Ms. Ha's story:

***

In the courtyard below the apartment building, where children gather, I heard a story about a daughter-in-law complaining about her mother-in-law. She said her mother-in-law received a monthly pension of 5,000 yuan (about 17 million VND), but still wanted them to give her 3,000 yuan (about 11 million VND) every month.

What my daughter-in-law said made me not want to say much, but as a mother-in-law, I really couldn't bear to listen, I just wanted to say: "Parents helping their children look after children need to clearly distinguish between the two words 'emotion' and 'reason'. Mother-in-law helping to look after grandchildren is showing affection for children, there is nothing wrong with not helping, but whoever gives birth to children must take responsibility for themselves."

My name is Liu Min He, I am 61 years old this year. After retiring, I have been taking care of my grandchild at my son's house for 6 years. Every month, my daughter-in-law gives me 3,000 NDT (about 11 million VND).

At that time, my son immediately jumped up and said, "Mom, you're taking care of your grandchild and you still want money? Other people's families give money to their children, don't they? You really love money too much."

I don't know how my daughter-in-law feels, but she still respects my choice and transfers me enough money on the due date.

Recently, I discussed with my son and daughter-in-law that now that he has gone to school, I will return home to enjoy a happy retirement life. I took out a bank card, gave it to my daughter-in-law, and told her that inside there was 250,000 NDT (about 895 million VND), which was my savings and education fund for him.

The daughter-in-law was very surprised at that time, she immediately hugged me, crying and thanking me, Mom. The son was also moved to tears, and said: "Mom, isn't that right? 6 years of 3,000 NDT (about 11 million VND) a month, isn't that much?"

I laughed and said my son was not good at math. My daughter-in-law laughed and said, "My mother is really good. She is very good at saving money."

At the crucial moment, I still had to look at my daughter-in-law. My son also smiled, he ran to hug me, saying he didn't want to let me go.

Illustration photo.

My ex-husband and I divorced many years ago. When our son got married, my ex-husband paid the deposit for the wedding house. I gave him 128,000 yuan (about 458 million VND) as a dowry. His in-laws also gave their children 300,000 yuan (about 1 billion VND).

At first, my son and daughter-in-law discussed that when they had a child, my wife's parents would help take care of the baby, and I only needed to give them some money for milk every month. Later, my father-in-law's health was not good, and my mother-in-law had to take care of both her husband and her baby, which was really tiring.

I took the initiative to offer to babysit, but I had conditions. I made three requests. My daughter-in-law agreed before I came. Here are my three requests:

1. We respect each other, accept each other's habits, no need to force.

2. I am only responsible for taking care of my child until he goes to school. My son and daughter-in-law cannot make any excuse to force me to stay and pick up my child.

3. Every month, the daughter-in-law must give 3,000 NDT (about 11 million VND). This amount is not for living expenses or labor costs, but for support between relatives.

My daughter-in-law said she had to discuss this with my son. That night, my son called me on video complaining that it wasn't easy to make money. But no matter how much he cried about being poor, I said no, I didn't need him. I would still follow the original agreement and give him 2,000 yuan (about 7 million VND) for milk every month.

It was my daughter-in-law who made the final decision, saying that she agreed to my three requests, but she also had three small suggestions.

1. My daughter-in-law is a teacher, she has two vacations a year, when she has vacation, I shouldn't find an excuse to go home, because she's still young, and she still wants to improve her skills.

2. There are definitely different views between young people and adults, especially consumer views. I hope I can understand and sympathize. Don't always complain about having a lot of goods sent.

3. Regarding the 3,000 NDT (about 11 million VND), the daughter-in-law acknowledged and was willing to give it, thanking me for being an understanding and devoted mother-in-law.

After agreeing with my son and daughter-in-law, I happily packed my bags to move in with my son and take care of him.

Illustration photo.

Time flies, the years fly by, in the blink of an eye I have been at my son's house for 6 years, during this time there have been conflicts and disagreements, we adhere to three requirements, each person does their job well, the rest use tolerance and understanding to accept each other.

Sometimes, my mother-in-law also said that she would replace me for a while, but I think, it is not easy for her, at home there is still my father-in-law to take care of. I am alone, living like that everywhere, living with my son's family, I can still enjoy a few years of family happiness. When my nephew goes to school, I go home to enjoy my life, it can be considered as completing my mission.

I have a pension and some savings. At my son's house, most of the food in the house is bought by my son and daughter-in-law. I only cook. The 3,000 yuan (about 11 million VND) that my daughter-in-law gives me each month, I put it in a separate bank card, the password is my grandson's date of birth.

Thinking that 6 years have passed, I want to set aside some of the education fund for my grandchild’s future, as a gift from my grandmother to him. Usually, on my son, daughter-in-law and grandchild’s birthdays, I give each of them 2,000 yuan (about 7 million VND), and the New Year’s lucky money is also 2,000 yuan (about 7 million VND) each.

But the daughter-in-law was very considerate. On Tet, both sets of grandparents were given 10,000 NDT (about 35 million VND) for the new year.

Thinking back, having such a daughter-in-law, I consider myself lucky. Although my son often teases me for being a money-hungry mother, when he sees the bank card of the education fund I have for him, he smiles happily.

To be honest, an old person like me, with social insurance, health insurance, and some savings. The reason I want my son and daughter-in-law to give me money is mainly to tell them that while parents helping to look after their grandchildren is really out of affection, they also have responsibilities.

Children are willing to pay for their grandchildren, making us feel that our contributions are valuable and that we will be recognized by our children when we are old. It doesn't matter how much money we make, what matters is that our children recognize the effort we put in for them and their grandchildren.

Although it is said that labor is valuable, family and love are priceless. The elderly do not care how much money their children give them, but hope that their contributions will be recognized by their children, admired by their peers, and that they will have a sense of accomplishment in their hearts.

Illustration photo.

Perhaps, you will say I am fake, asking my son and daughter-in-law for money, but in the end giving all the money to my children, it feels redundant.

Actually, that’s not true. Think about it, if I didn’t ask my daughter-in-law for 3,000 yuan (about 11 million VND) every month, with the way young people spend, could they save 250,000 yuan (about 895 million VND) for their children in 6 years?

Although my daughter-in-law was a bit resentful when she gave me money, this also motivated the children to try harder to earn money.

Listening to my daughter-in-law, thanks to me helping to look after her grandchildren, she took advantage of her free time to sell things online, and earned a little extra money every month. Look, this is the motivation I give my daughter-in-law to earn money. Moreover, when I go back to my hometown, I also give my children some savings. Through this story, I want to say that parents who help their children look after their grandchildren also need to have a strategy, so that their children can see our dedication.

This is not a matter of money, but to let children recognize their parents' contributions, to give them the respect they deserve. At the same time, it is also to let children learn to be grateful to their parents, to prepare for our old age.

Minh Nguyet

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/toi-61-tuoi-cham-chau-6-nam-yeu-cau-con-dau-dua-11-trieu-dong-thang-bi-trach-ham-tien-17224061808534722.htm