Comparing other people's wives and husbands: I don't dare to ask them to go anywhere together.

'Comparisons make the family atmosphere suffocating, like verbal abuse. And sometimes it goes too far, losing control,' a reader commented.

Everyone needs to know how to cherish the happiness they have, and not compare it to something far away - Illustration: WHITE CLOUD

As if touching the feelings of wives and husbands who are often compared by their other half, the article "Why compare yourself to "other people's husbands"!" received many sympathetic comments and shares from readers.

Compare, standing on this mountain looking at that mountain looking at someone else's husband

When reading the story of a wife who did not hesitate to compare her husband with others even though he worked two jobs to earn money day and night, Mr. Hoang Vu exclaimed: "Oh, if you marry a wife like that, you should send her back to the production place as soon as possible. Otherwise, one day she will have a stroke because she works too hard and will be criticized."

Sympathizing, reader Le Hien Quan wrote: "The number of divorce cases with such comparison that the court handles in a year is not small."

A reader from Da Nang complained that because of the constant comparisons, he doesn't want to invite his wife to go anywhere together. He feels like his wife is always glancing at other people's husbands.

"The husband feels hurt by losing groundlessly. At first it's just a small pimple, if not resolved soon, sooner or later it will grow into a tumor," this reader warned.

Account leho****@gmail.com tells his story. When he was still working for 70 million VND/month, he gave his bank card to his wife to keep. He only took pocket money from her.

When he was unemployed, he stayed home to do housework while his wife went to work. "That's when I truly felt the power and heat of money. But what can we do when life doesn't smile on us? We have to accept it," he confided.

From another perspective, Ms. Suong believes that the aspect of comparing to be better is also correct. For example, in the article, the couple is given favorable conditions by the wife's family, the husband should not rely on it, but should strive harder.

"The wife's harsh words are just a way of speaking. Basically, it's because the wife loves and cares for the family. In my opinion, the wife is not at fault in family conflicts," she expressed her opinion.

According to Mr. Le Van Vinh, there are people who only think about money. If the other half brings home a lot of money, they are considered good husbands. On the contrary, they do not think about how much money they earn each day.

"When my husband goes away for a long time, I never ask: Do you have enough money to go? ", said Vinh. And according to him, that is not a wife who knows how to share with her husband.

Mr. Thinh's account expressed: "It's like standing on this mountain looking at that mountain, not satisfied with reality. If you marry a wife who always compares herself to other people's husbands, then you shouldn't marry her, sooner or later you will get divorced."

Commenting that the story of comparing other people's husbands and wives is not rare in family life, reader nguy****@gmail.com advised that the consequences of this are very serious.

"Comparisons make the family atmosphere suffocating, like verbal abuse. And sometimes it goes too far and gets out of control," this reader shared.

Be honest about how you feel about being compared.

The solution to the problem of the other half often comparing, some readers think that the person involved should be frank and gently let the other half know how they feel when being weighed and measured.

Ms. Tram Dao said that the comparison was due to the wife's lack of tact. And she advised the husband to give his wife suggestions according to how he wants to be treated. "Maybe she will adjust better."

The women also think that wives often think about money, and that money is important because they have to take care of so many things for the family, and do not spend it on themselves.

Ms. Nhi advised: "The husband should frankly share his feeling of pressure when hearing his wife compare like that."

Readers of Little Carp commented that this comparison story is a reality in many families. Work with daily pressure is extremely tiring, returning home is also not peaceful, having a headache with all kinds of nagging from husband and wife.

"Men also compare a lot. They don't say it, but they look down on their wives if they don't make a lot of money or make them proud. Women talk a lot, but men keep it to themselves, and then one day it explodes," this reader shared.

The Wild Sunflower account suggests that as husband and wife, we should openly tell each other our feelings, worries, and thoughts about each other in a gentle and progressive way.

If a couple does not tell the truth, is afraid to share, and keeps their dissatisfaction with each other inside, then one day conflicts will inevitably arise.

"People often say that we should look at the light to push back the darkness, which means looking at the advantages to compensate for the disadvantages. No one in this world is perfect. All comparisons are lame."

Ms. Tram Dao analyzed: "Anything that is close, intimate, or too attached, we will not appreciate.

It's too late to regret when it's gone. So why not cherish it while it's still there? I wish everyone happiness with the home that you've worked so hard to build."

According to reader Ha, women today want their husbands to share housework, living expenses, and childcare. This reader tells the story of a husband who had to pay for a house himself, because that money was left for his children in the future… As for the wife’s personal money before the wedding, she gave it all to her biological parents to lend, and her husband’s family took care of her grandchildren… When the husband was sick, he had to take care of himself.

This reader suggests that we should be less demanding of our partner and that both sides should have a balanced give and take in their relationship, before thinking about demands and comparisons.

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/so-sanh-vo-nguoi-ta-chong-nguoi-ta-riet-khong-dam-ru-di-dau-chung-20241119163019253.htm