Upon learning that a male student had hit his head on the table while playing, the principal asked Ms. Hue to go to the student's house to apologize that same night, "don't let the parents post it online."
Ms. Hue, 50 years old, a homeroom teacher for a 5th grade class in Ha Nam, said that her class had three close male students who often played pranks on each other. That day, two of them were carrying their friend on their back, but when they climbed up, he slipped and hit his head on the table. The incident happened before the afternoon class, and Ms. Hue did not know.
"During class, he hit his head and said he was a bit tired. His friends and he didn't say anything about playing around or falling, so I thought he was sick and called his parents to pick him up," the teacher said.
At 9pm, the parents called to share about the incident, saying it was not serious but that they planned to take their child to the doctor. Ms. Hue reported to the principal, planning to visit the child's house after the next morning's class. However, the principal asked her to leave immediately, "don't let the parents post online that the teachers were late in visiting." She was also criticized for "not being close enough" and needed to learn from her experience.
"I was upset and felt that I did not deserve such criticism," Ms. Hue said. But understanding the pressure from the principal, she quickly changed her clothes, ran to buy four cartons of milk, and then went to her student's house, 5 km away, at 10 pm.
Ms. Thanh, 28 years old, a private kindergarten teacher in Hanoi, also "turns pale with fear" every time she sees a scratch or bruise on a child.
In charge of 30 three-year-olds and another teacher, Ms. Thanh said it was impossible to prevent all potentially harmful behavior from children. Many children played and bumped into each other, scratching their limbs or tripping while running and jumping.
"But parents who see their children get a little scratched often get suspicious right away. Even if I explain, I'm still afraid they won't believe me and post it online, which could cost me my job," Ms. Thanh sighed.
Education administrators believe that this mentality stems from the increasing use of social media by parents to resolve problems with schools and classes. Even if they have not made any mistakes, teachers are still haunted and wary of parents, affecting their work spirit.
Content in the teacher and parent chat group can be captured and posted online. Illustration photo: Provided by parents
Since the beginning of the school year, social media has been continuously spreading posts from parents "accusing" teachers of income and expenses, boarding meals, or their behavior. At the Happy School Conference on October 20, Mr. Vu Minh Duc, Director of the Department of Teachers and Educational Managers, said that teachers face great pressure.
"Just one deviant behavior and tomorrow the whole social network will be in an uproar. Teachers are under a lot of pressure," said Mr. Duc.
According to the Ministry of Information and Communications, Vietnam has more than 77 million Internet users, accounting for nearly 80% of the population. The Internet makes information spread quickly, many events posted by parents online attract tens of thousands of interactions in just a few hours.
Having reported on Facebook about the collection and disbursement of the parent fund of her son’s class, Ms. Nhai, 29 years old, in Hanoi, said that this method was immediately effective. Just 6 hours after posting, the homeroom teacher and the representative of the parent committee came to meet her.
"The head of the parents' association promised to make the charges public, and the teacher also explained them in detail. I found it reasonable so I removed the post," said Ms. Nhai, who believes that parents "are weak and need a large crowd to put pressure on them."
A principal in Quang Tri said this thinking is now common, forcing schools and teachers to be careful in every word and action.
"Regardless of right or wrong, just going online will mean having to report, explain, be reminded by superiors, and be criticized," he said, adding that when discovering an incident, it's best to be receptive and tactful to resolve it promptly.
He believes that the reason is that between parents and schools, teachers are not open and trusting enough to communicate directly. However, he is also upset because some incidents are pushed too far by parents or without careful research, intentionally posting false information. He knows of colleagues who have been struggling for a whole week because a non-school meal was posted online, or of junior teachers whose words were edited in a zalo group, and screenshots were sent everywhere.
Associate Professor Dr. Nguyen Thi To Quyen, acting Head of the Department of Sociology and Development, Academy of Journalism and Communication, agreed. She said that parents' accurate feedback online helps violations be handled quickly, becoming a lesson for schools and teachers, but many feedbacks are not objective.
As a result, teachers appear to have a state of professional self-defense, according to Dr. Hoang Trung Hoc, Head of the Department of Educational Psychology, Academy of Educational Management. When feeling insecure in the face of external influences, teachers will withdraw and be afraid to contribute.
"If teachers lose their enthusiasm and passion for their work, the students will suffer the most," Mr. Hoc acknowledged.
In Vietnam, there is currently no specific research on the impact of this. In South Korea, more than 1,000 teachers were assaulted or attacked by students and parents between 2018 and 2022. Teachers’ fear of parents is so severe that the government is planning a series of changes, including limiting parents’ contact with teachers.
Witnessing a colleague receiving criticism and having to be disciplined for pointing and scolding a student, Mr. Trung, a junior high school math teacher in Hanoi, said his enthusiasm had diminished. Knowing that he sometimes has a hot temper, he told himself to just finish teaching the lesson, instead of closely monitoring, urging, and even "loudly" reminding students about their homework.
"I also feel guilty, but anyway, I'm just an employee. Just one moment of lack of self-control and being exposed online will become a black mark on my career," said Mr. Trung.
As for Ms. Hue in Ha Nam, who was already exhausted from the large amount of work, paperwork, and training, having to apologize to students at night was the last straw.
"I feel like if I make just one mistake, people will erase the 30 years of dedication I have made," said Ms. Hue, adding that she has submitted a request to her superiors to retire three years early.
Parents gathered at Cu Chinh Lan Primary School in Gia Lai to protest against a music teacher for failing their children in the subject, on May 29. Photo: Ngoc Oanh
Educators say that conflicts between schools and parents are inevitable. The point is to resolve things in a positive, civilized manner.
Dr. Hoc acknowledged that parents may consider education a service and have the right to demand that the provider (school) improve its quality. However, this is a special service and the buyer - that is, the parent - should also behave appropriately.
"How to react to ensure humanity, educate your children and other students to look at," Mr. Hoc shared.
Mr. Nguyen Van Ngai, former deputy director of the Ho Chi Minh City Department of Education and Training, advised parents to investigate carefully, in addition to hearing from their children, ask friends and other parents. When they understand the situation, share it with the teacher, if the handling is not satisfactory, go to the school board.
Meanwhile, teachers also need to adapt that they are service providers, equip themselves with communication skills with parents and students, and handle media crises, according to Mr. Hoc. Mr. Ngai said that schools should develop a process for receiving and handling complaints, and clear channels for parents to contact when needed.
"I hope that schools and parents will consider whether each action will have any negative impact on students. After all, they are the ones who will be most affected," said Mr. Ngai.
Thanh Hang
*Names of teachers and parents have been changed
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