What does parents' marriage teach their children?
On the occasion of Vietnamese Family Day (June 28), "Chanh Van" Hoang Anh Tu launched a book with the impressive title Growing a father - sowing happiness in the mother and filling happiness in the children , published by the Vietnamese Women's Publishing House.
The book was written over 4 years, through the Covid-19 pandemic with many direct experiences from marriages in crisis. Among them, some stories were once noisy on social networks, hot news.
Writer and journalist Hoang Anh Tu shared that the book was originally titled What Does Parental Marriage Teach Their Children?, but the author wanted to call it by another name: Growing a Father - Sowing Happiness in the Mother and Filling the Children with Happiness .
Because according to him, father - mother - children are the three main elements of happiness. According to the author, how can there be a happy marriage when the father is not "planted", the mother is not "sown" and the children are not "filled"?
Cover of the book "Planting a father - sowing on the mother and filling happiness into the children" (Photo: Vietnamese Women's Publishing House).
The book is 220 pages thick, including 5 chapters: Happy marriage - Happy children; What can we give our children?; How to divorce so that children are not orphans; Do parents see our tears; How to love children so that they love them?
Each of the author's articles strives towards happiness, ways for parents and children to be happy together.
To make every woman a "happy mother", every man a "happy father", every child a "happy child", every marriage a "happy marriage".
Even if divorced, single mother, single father, divorce must be happy, single mother is also happy, single father is also happy.
According to "Chanh Van" Hoang Anh Tu, "looking at the tree to fix the land, looking at the child to fix yourself", your marriage teaches your children many things that you may not have realized, use it and turn it into a way to make your children happy.
"This book will expose children's tears with the hope that parents will understand. Because only when we understand will the love we have for our children become true love and touch their hearts. Will you bring this book home to be happier than you were yesterday?", the author said.
Don't teach your children alone.
In the closing words of the book, author Hoang Anh Tu wrote:
"I keep thinking about how we adults (specifically teachers and parents) seem to be too busy to be patient in teaching children.
Because most of the positive discipline advice from leading experts in the world as well as in Vietnam all talk about: Spending time and being patient in educating children. Something that not all parents and teachers can do. So we always choose the easy way, do it quickly, quickly. And the fastest way is always to give it a whip, everything will be fine.
So, how to discipline a child in a positive way and… without wasting time?
I think that is an impossible wish. Just like building Paris cannot be done in a day. Each child is our great work and the journey of growing up with them needs to be built every day. Even sometimes, mistakes are made. Luckily for us, children forget quickly and forgive easily. With parents and teachers, they are all set to accept the times when parents are unreasonable, teachers are unreasonable. We just don't abuse that. A sincere apology from parents and teachers always has a great impact on children.
Being busy is the same. One person is slow, three people are fast. So parents and teachers should learn how to… work together. Don’t take on everything. Educating children requires both parents and teachers to help. And the same goes for teachers, they should call on young parents to participate instead of doing everything alone. Teamwork is an important skill in this 4.0 era for children, so parents and teachers should also work together. And directly attract children to their team. Build goals together and achieve those goals together.
Writer and journalist Hoang Anh Tu (Photo: Vietnamese Women's Publishing House).
Just like I still ask my children's teachers, their siblings, my friends, and most importantly, my children to help me correct them.
I am lucky that my children are cooperative, their teachers are always happy to participate, my wife is actively involved, and the three of us keep an eye on each other. I am making the education of my children a social, community interaction. It is a shared goal. Calling for help is not because you are helpless, but because you have the right to use it.
Don’t always teach your children alone. Because our children also live in a community, not just with you. Children need to grow and mature from multi-dimensional interactions. As long as parents and teachers don’t consider it their sole responsibility, that’s fine.
There are no bad children, only bad behaviors. Therefore, any discipline should only be about bad behavior instead of disciplining your child. Please remember! And any bad behavior needs to be changed in every environment, every relationship of your child. Don't just do it by yourself. An extra help is to reduce a little of your time and help your child, your student change more positively."
Writer - Journalist Hoang Anh Tu, former Chief Editor of Vietnam Student Newspaper - Hoa Hoc Tro; Speaker - regular guest on radio, press and television programs: Morning Coffee with VTV3; Through the bad weather area; Child repair shop ...
Hoang Anh Tu is the author of nearly 30 books on marriage - child rearing - children's books, skills...
He is also the author of screenplays for Golden Kite nominated movies, musicals, and coming-of-age TV series about the conflicts and upheavals of adolescence such as Right Heart Campaign, Then I Will Grow Up, Puberty...
The author is also a media ambassador for many competitions and campaigns of the Ministry of Health, the Central Committee of the Ho Chi Minh Communist Youth Union, organizations on gender equality, changing perceptions, inspiring...
Source: https://dantri.com.vn/giai-tri/chanh-van-hoang-anh-tu-hon-nhan-cua-cha-me-day-con-cai-dieu-gi-20240625230442747.htm
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