Below is a share from a young mother on the Whimn page:
There were times when I felt confused about my relationship with my boyfriend Jeremy. We moved in together after two months of dating, when we were both in our early 20s and still young in life. We were madly in love and I thought nothing could change that.
At first, everything went well, then I got pregnant. It was unexpected but we cherished the fruit of our love. Jeremy asked me to marry him and Jemma was born when my parents had been together for 18 months. We had planned to get married when Jemma was a year old, but after she was born, things started to go wrong.
At first, I didn't understand why, I just knew that I was becoming less and less confident. I felt like I wasn't good enough for Jeremy and that I was a bad mother. I had never been so self-conscious before. When I confided in a close friend about this, I was shocked when she pointed out that Jeremy was always putting me down.
It wasn't about the big things, he never told me I was a bad person. He just slowly made me feel bad with simple comments about what I wore, who I hung out with, or what I did with my life.
I often hear things like, "Are you okay with wearing those pants?" or "Do you think this makes you look good?" or "You should be happy with it, after all"...
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After talking to my best friend, I started to pay more attention and realized that Jeremy was really taking away my self-esteem every day. He was also getting angrier. Jeremy never hit or threatened me, but when he was upset, he threw things around the house or punched the walls. My walls were full of holes after he broke the crockery many times. I can't remember how many times my daughter cried when her father got angry.
I was getting more and more scared and didn’t want to go on living like this. I spoke to Jeremy about it but he said I was overreacting and that everyone had moments like that. Jeremy also said I was being too sensitive about his comments.
Even Jeremy's parents, Robert and Sherryn, were frank when they first met me that they thought their son should marry a middle-class girl from their native England. I don't know whether they hated me because I had "trapped Jeremy with a child" (as they put it) or because they wanted their son to return to England with them. Probably both.
They stayed with us for a week and the afternoon before they were due to leave, Jeremy asked me to go for a walk in the park near our house. I put Jemma in her stroller and went with her. I never expected what would happen next.
Jeremy's father said he and his wife wanted to give me a small amount of money to "free Jeremy" from the relationship. "You want to pay me to break up with him," I asked. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "Yes."
I had a feeling this wasn’t the man I’d talked to before. I wasn’t angry, I just wanted to teach them a lesson and get myself out of here. I was going to take Jemma and start a new, peaceful life. “How much?” I said. “How much would that be?” he said. I thought for a moment and then said, “30,000 and that’s it.”
The following week the money appeared in my account. I told Jeremy I was leaving him. I don't know if he ever found out what his parents did, but I do know he returned to England a few months after we split up.
I send her pictures occasionally and we still keep in touch, but I no longer feel bad about myself and I no longer have to live by other people's attitudes. I just paid a deposit for a nice apartment for us, thanks to the kindness of my grandparents who she will probably never see again.
Life after marriage is very expensive, so stay away from these 4 types of men
1. The Untrustworthy Man
If you want to build a happy life, your relationships must be of quality. Not only your friends, your career partners, but most importantly your life partner, you must choose someone trustworthy.
The sign of a trustworthy person is that they always keep their promises, their words are always backed by actions and they do not make empty promises. You can see that, regardless of the relationship in life, a person who keeps his word is always trustworthy.
If a man repeatedly fails to keep his promise, it means he does not value you. A man who truly cares about you will not waste your time waiting. Especially after marriage, married life has many situations and pressures to bear, keeping your word is a way for two people to connect and rely on each other.
Of course, during the time you get to know each other, events happen that you can understand this man through the way he behaves. If they only think about themselves, do not care about your feelings, and only think about their own gains and losses, then you should be wary of this type of man.
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2. Men who underestimate you
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be appreciated, but if he underestimates you and constantly denies you just because he wants to be in a position of excellence, then stay away from such a man.
For example, when you achieve success in your work, he will think that you rely on luck. When you share your dream of living an active life and working hard to earn money, he will say that you are overestimating your abilities.
Instead of encouraging and healing or bringing warmth to you, he just wants to assert his talented position, making you completely dependent on him, which is not a good choice for you to entrust your whole life to.
3. The man only knows how to receive but not how to give
There is a type of person who only knows how to receive but not how to give. When you get to know or love each other, it is natural for you to help him, but when you need help, he worries about gains and losses. Whether it is love or friendship, sincerity must be exchanged for sincerity. Nothing that comes from one side can bring a happy ending.
4. The man has the mindset of "manipulating" you psychologically
If in your life you meet a man who is capable of psychological manipulation, be careful. First, he may not understand the situation but always advises you to be generous. For such people, you will never understand the sadness or pain you have experienced. Such people are used to looking at problems on the surface, standing on the concept of morality pointing at your life, asking you to do something right in their way.
Second, the type of man who likes to manipulate others with deceitful arguments. Normally, when in love, two people will voluntarily do some things for the other person. But for the type of manipulator, he will make you believe that what you do is your duty and responsibility. And if you do not do what he wants, it means you do not love him enough.
In this life, who you are with matters, and who you are matters just as much.
Land fever may return in 2025-2026
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