Let children play freely, but do not disturb others.
One summer, our family went on vacation to a resort in Mui Ne. Breakfast was served buffet style so there were a lot of tourists, both Western and Vietnamese.
The resort had many other families taking their children on summer vacation after a hard year of exams. In the morning, the restaurant was quite crowded with children, many of them had just woken up, many of them were still wearing their swimsuits from the pool.
The children were in family groups so they knew each other and played around very loudly. What was special was that parents rarely reminded them.
Two children followed their mother to choose the food. They tried every dish with their hands. If the child said it was delicious, the mother would put it on a plate. If it was not delicious, the child would put it back on the tray, many dishes were still half-eaten.
When I told the kids not to do that, their mother looked upset. She said the kids were just having fun, why are you being so difficult?
At that time, there was another group of children wearing wet swimsuits and chasing each other. One of the boys who was being chased hit his head into the stomach of a foreign woman who was getting food, causing her to panic, tilt her plate, and drop the food on the floor.
However, the children continued to laugh and chase each other, only the waiters came to help her clean up.
The parents of that group of children were the families living next to my room. They saw it, but only looked to make sure the children were okay, then went back to eating, drinking and laughing.
Our breakfast was a miserable affair as the children chased each other around the tables.
The debate was inconclusive.
The stories I tell may not be too strange. Many people have talked about how they feel annoyed when they see children playing excessively and making noise and being uncivilized in public places such as restaurants, coffee shops, on airplanes, supermarkets, etc.
On social networking forums, including education forums, there are always two trends to debate about this.
Some people think that parents should control their children and avoid disturbing others in public places. Others, including many parents, think that they should be lenient with their children. They are children and they do not have much awareness, so they need to be given space to play.
I rarely engage in debates on this topic. I generally don't engage in debates on social media because I find them to be pointless.
I am on the side that wants to teach children civility.
Children happily play after school - Illustration: LAM THIEN
As a parent of two children, I belong to the first camp. I always advocate being strict, teaching my children from a young age not to bother others in public. And my children strictly follow that.
When my children were young, I used to wonder if I was being too strict when I saw other children playing in public. But as they grew older, they confirmed that I was right, even reminding me when I laughed or talked too loudly. Or even their footsteps reminded us to be quiet.
I participate in many parent forums, but these topics are only discussed in a one-sided criticism, one-sided opposition, and I have not really seen any constructive discussion.
I always believe that every child is adorable, and children always need freedom, freedom to learn, freedom of expression, freedom of thinking...
But because they are children, like young trees growing up, they also need some frameworks to mature, because society is not a forest.
Children explore the ecosystem of Bidoup - Nui Ba National Park - Photo: MAI VINH
Without talking too much about comparing the West with us (because it will cause controversy), just looking back at ourselves, we always feel a bit annoyed by the noise in public places caused by others, such as karaoke sounds, motorbike exhausts, reckless car horns, people drinking and laughing excessively...
If we feel bothered by those things, we certainly don't want our children to bother others, in public places.
Of course, there is not necessarily a standard or a specific set of rules of conduct that can be used as a means of education. I just think that if each of us adults regularly reminds and analyzes for children about not bothering people in public places, or knowing how to apologize when we accidentally bother them, then gradually everything will get better, and we adults ourselves will behave accordingly.
Do you mind when children are too noisy, running around freely in public places? Will you let your children express themselves freely in public places? Should we teach children many behavioral skills? Please share your opinions via email [email protected]. Tuoi Tre Online thanks you.
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