Nowadays, it is quite difficult for a husband and wife to resolve financial issues. Some people think that a man giving his salary after marriage is a sign of giving his wife a sense of security, others think that a man should keep his financial independence.
So after marriage, should you give your salary to your wife? Let's listen to the real stories and thoughts of married men.
1. Sharing from Mr. Luu, 45 years old, engineer, married for 17 years
“Giving my salary to my wife is my commitment to my family,” said Mr. Liu. Mr. Liu is a reserved and quiet man. He has been married to his wife for 17 years. During these 17 years, his family’s “financial control” has been in her hands.
Every time the company pays his salary, he takes the initiative to hand it over to his wife. There has been no exception in the past 10 years. Even when there are situations where he needs to spend money first, he will make the decision after discussing it with his wife. His friends laugh at him for being afraid of his wife, but he always smiles and lets it go without arguing.
One day, Liu's wife came to his workplace to find him. The people who often made fun of him discovered that she was not a "strong wife" but was actually a very gentle and virtuous woman.
Mr. Liu once told us a story about his childhood. His parents' marriage had no emotional basis. They were from the same hometown, classmates, and had the same conditions in every way, so they got married. After getting married, his father decided to go out to make a living. Before leaving, his father arranged for his mother to take care of him and take care of the housework, and agreed to send letters every month. In the first few months, his father still sent money and letters as promised.
Photo: iStockphoto
Later, his father's letters became shorter and shorter, and the money he sent home also became less and less... Seeing his mother struggling alone without much financial support, the young Liu told himself that he would never let his life partner endure such hardships and suffering.
Mr. Liu shared that he always gives his entire salary to his wife. For him, giving his salary to his wife is the greatest sense of security. “My wife feels relieved and comfortable, when she can truly face the ups and downs of life with me,” Mr. Liu said.
According to him, love is not completely equivalent to handing over salary, but a man who is willing to hand over his entire salary will be a man who loves his wife and is responsible for his family.
2. Shared by Mr. Hoang, 40 years old, currently working as a company director, married for 10 years
Mr. Hoang and his wife are both successful in their careers. In the family, the couple chooses a relatively independent financial management method: Each person keeps a portion of their salary as a personal discretionary fund, the rest is used jointly for family expenses.
Hoang believes that this approach not only helps them maintain financial freedom but also helps them share family responsibilities. “We all have our own social relationships and consumption needs. Maintaining a little financial freedom can make us more independent and self-reliant,” Hoang said.
He believes that for boundary-conscious people like them, “distance makes beauty.” “We experimented and it felt more comfortable to maintain financial independence,” he shares.
In addition, when faced with some daily expenses, he will also follow the habits that they have agreed upon throughout the relationship. At the same time, the party with the higher salary can be relatively more.
Of course, they also carefully consider the issue of having children and how to raise them, then decide to give their wife the money saved to raise the children. This will not cause too much trouble due to financial problems.
“Although we ‘calculate relatively clearly’, when faced with big issues of right and wrong, we will never shirk responsibility because of money issues,” said Mr. Hoang.
“We are relatively financially independent, but we support and rely on each other emotionally,” Mr. Hoang added.
3. Sharing from Mr. Giang, 30 years old, a startup entrepreneur, married for 3 years
"We assign tasks and develop together," said Giang. Giang and his wife are young, energetic and creative people.
In their family, financial management has taken on a new meaning: husband and wife participate together and take turns “doing the job.” Giang explained that he and his wife have taken on an interesting “financial management job.” Every quarter, they take turns managing the family finances. This goes beyond simply paying bills and tracking expenses, but also includes planning the family budget, making investment decisions, and planning for the future.
“This approach gives us the opportunity to gain insight into our family’s financial situation, while also fostering our communication and collaboration,” says Giang. At the end of each quarter, they work together to evaluate the financial performance for that period.
If one party does a good job, such as successfully cutting costs, increasing savings, or making smart investment decisions, the other party is rewarded. This reward could be a romantic dinner or a short vacation.
This method of taking turns managing money not only helps Giang and his wife better understand the family's financial situation, but also enhances their sense of responsibility. They learn how to manage money better and work towards common family goals. Giang said: "Through this method, we are really making progress and have a more realistic understanding of family issues. I feel quite good."
“In the past, when it came to money, we could easily argue, which hurt us. But now, we both look forward to the quarterly review and we feel our lives are more hopeful,” Giang shared.
This could be a new and creative way of managing family finances that many young couples should try.
4. Message
In married life, no matter which financial management method is chosen, as long as the husband and wife can understand and support each other, that is the most suitable method. Of course, we cannot ignore some basic principles in financial management.
This reminds us that no matter how abundant our family finances are, we should spend within our means and plan appropriately. In terms of financial management, we must also focus on saving and planning to create a solid foundation for our family's future.
Back to the original question: “After marriage, should you give your salary to your wife?”. There is probably no fixed answer to this question. But we can learn from the stories of the three married men above and find a financial management method that suits us.
Remember, no matter which method you choose, the most important thing is still open communication and mutual understanding between husband and wife. In life, there are many complexities, I hope that each couple can find their own way to manage their finances and experience each sweet, warm day together. In the long journey of marriage, living happily every day is much more practical and valuable than promises before and after.
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