Surrogacy - The miracle of finding a child: The mothers who 'give birth'

Even though it "fell through the cracks" because the two mothers were related, is it easy for a mother to give up the child she conceived and gave birth to to another person?

On the occasion of the recent National Day, September 2, I visited a special family in Dong Nai. The windy and laughter-filled house in Trang Dai Ward, Bien Hoa City, is home to the family of baby Xuka, the first baby born via surrogacy at Hung Vuong Hospital (HCMC). In the arms of her parents and Aunt Ut (the surrogate mother), the mischievous and pretty Xuka is cherished like a treasure of the whole family.

Xuka and the golden afternoons

Mr. Nguyen Ngoc Vu (46 years old, Xuka's father) waited every day for his beloved daughter to be born, sharing: "Xuka is very attached to her father. When I come home from work, I just need to hear her call me daddy and hug me, sniffing me as if we had been apart for a month, and I feel no more tiredness."

Ms. Pham Hong Nhung (41 years old, Xuka's mother) quit her job when Mr. Vu's sister MTH became pregnant to take care of her mother. Ms. Nguyen Thi Thanh Nhan (39 years old, Mr. Vu's younger sister) is MTH. Although she has two children, both are boys, Ms. Nhan loves her only niece very much.

Anh Vu and daughter Xuka

From 2015 to 2019, Ms. Nhung underwent in vitro fertilization (IVF - PV), due to a history of ectopic cysts, which reduced the ability to conceive or if she did get pregnant, the fetus would not develop. However, the couple still tried to store 6 embryos, transferred the embryos so that Ms. Nhung could get pregnant but could not keep them. When only the last 2 embryos met the requirements, Dr. Ly Thai Loc, Head of the Infertility Department of Hung Vuong Hospital, advised the couple to apply for a surrogate mother. At this time, Ms. Nhan, Mr. Vu's younger sister, knew about the matter and agreed to give birth for him.

She said: "At first, I was hesitant because I already had two grown children, and having another child was too much. But because I loved my brother and my husband encouraged me to help my second brother and sister. Who knows, maybe God will bless them with a child, and I would be happy."

Anh Vu and daughter Xuka

Ms. Nhung recalls: "The initial difficulty when doing MTH was that the application was very strict, the paperwork to meet the requirements was very complicated. Although Nhan is Mr. Vu's younger sister, and their houses are close together so it was convenient to go to the notary office, it took nearly a year to complete the paperwork. There was also pressure, each time egg retrieval and embryo preparation cost more than 100 million VND, the couple saved up as much as they could for the IVF process. After going there for so long, the hospital staff became familiar with them, one of them even said that the application was already very thick, just one more and we would have a baby. Therefore, MTH was the last way for me to be a mother."

In early 2020, Ms. Nhung's MTH application was approved. In November 2020, Ms. Nhan went to the hospital to have the embryo transferred. Before that, she had to get injections and monitor the uterine lining for 4 months. "It was very discouraging, but thanks to that, seeing my brother and sister-in-law go through dozens of years of praying to have a child, I felt even more sympathetic," Ms. Nhan recalled.

From left to right: Ms. Nhan - the surrogate mother, Mr. Vu, baby Xuka and Ms. Nhung

Xuka was born on the day Ho Chi Minh City was locked down due to the Covid-19 epidemic. She stayed in the hospital for 3 days before returning home with her parents. Ms. Nhan had to give birth early, at only 37 weeks, due to high blood pressure. After a series of nervous days throughout her pregnancy, the baby girl's first cry made both mothers burst into tears. The day we arrived was a beautiful sunny day, Xuka kept calling her father, wearing a conical hat asking to go out to the garden to play. The mischievous little girl can make anyone who meets her fall in love with her cuteness and innocence.

"Nhan thinks of the baby as her own child, very loving. The house is close by so she runs back and forth to help her older sister with whatever she can. Having a baby, the older sister and brother are very happy," Xuka's youngest aunt proudly looked at her niece who was inseparable from her father.

"Fight to the end for the youngest's dream"

In early September 2023, Ms. Ng.MD and her youngest sister Ng.P.Th entered a special day. That day, Ms. D. (41 years old) officially had her embryo transferred for MTH for her sister at Hung Vuong Hospital. At 6:30 a.m., Th. and her husband, along with Ms. D., went to the Infertility Department to prepare. Although she had been mentally prepared for a whole year, Ms. D. was still nervous and anxious before going on the table to receive the embryo.

"I'm worried that there will be any problems. I'm afraid that my youngest sister will be sad if she doesn't get pregnant. There are 6 embryos, one is good, 4 are good, and one is average. Today, the doctor will put in the best one, so I'm even more nervous," said Ms. D. Next to her, youngest sister Th., although trying to cheer up her fourth sister, could not hide her anxiety. She ran back and forth to listen to the doctor's instructions on buying medicine, signing the confirmation paper... Whenever she could sit down, she ran to her sister to talk and reassure her.

Ms. Th.'s family checked the information before the embryo transfer session.

Mr. NPT (41 years old) is Ms. Th's husband. Both are traditional medicine doctors, currently working in District 6 (HCMC). Th. knew she had "infantile uterus" and could not get pregnant and told her husband when they were not yet married. "Th's youngest husband was still determined to start a family with her youngest", Ms. D. said.

More than anyone, she understood her sister's sadness since she was only 21 years old and knew she was different from her friends. But Th. was still strong, talented, passed the medical school entrance exam, became a doctor, then met Th. and got married. They temporarily put aside their personal worries to focus on work. Even though she still wanted to be a mother and sometimes felt pressured about having children, Th. said that her husband was looking for someone who could be a mother, but T. brushed it off and never mentioned this issue again.

Sisters Th. and D. during the embryo transfer on the morning of September 1, 2023

The Covid-19 incident has made Ms. Th. and her husband yearn to have children again, when they went on a business trip to the epidemic area and saw the loneliness and separation of the elderly. Mr. T. said: "Let's try it, if God blesses us, we will have children in the future, first of all we will be happy, then no matter what happens, our family will have more people."

So from 2022, Ms. Th. and her husband went to do IVF to freeze embryos. At this time, she also asked Ms. Tu, who already had a grown son, to carry the pregnancy for her. Knowing her dream, Ms. D., even though she was 41 years old, still agreed and on September 1, the two sisters went to the hospital hand in hand to transfer the embryos with high hopes. But on September 13, Th. informed me that Ms. D. had a negative beta test result (not pregnant - PV) despite having severe morning sickness.

Ms. D. entered the embryo transfer room on the morning of September 1, 2023.

"D. is so sad, Th. has to encourage her. Now she is better, she is going to visit her mother. The two of us will fight until the last breath, like our father in the past, even though he was seriously ill, he was always optimistic until he passed away. Whether we can do it or not, we have tried our best, so we will just wait for fate with our child," Th. said.

(to be continued)

Source link: https://thanhnien.vn/mang-thai-ho-phep-mau-tim-con-nhung-ba-me-de-gium-185231009183312231.htm