Can you be friends after divorce?

Illustration: DANG HONG QUAN

Normally, the stories in the group are just about children's fun, how to raise healthy children and teach smart children... but now the issue is posed in a different direction, for people who are going through a failed marriage.

This question is not new but it is probably always "hot" in everyone's mind, and even if it is not in their case, people still give their opinions. Of course, there are often two "sides", can and should not. Everyone has their own reasons.

For example, a father in Quang Binh shared: "Once you break up, there will definitely be some unhappy things. Why do you two still meet? Let each person have a new life. Whether they are happy or sad is their personal business."

Ms. Thuy, a single mother in Da Nang, said: "I think we can still be friends. It is a civilized way of behaving between two people who have loved each other, had an engagement, and want to walk the path of happiness until the end of their lives."

According to Ms. Thuy, there are thousands of reasons for a marriage to break down, but the people involved should not turn their backs, become strangers, or hate each other just because they no longer live together.

Opposing this, Mr. Thang in Ho Chi Minh City expressed his opinion: "It is not always civilized to be friends after a marriage ends. That is actually weakness, not being able to be decisive or maybe regretting something. If possible, I think there should be certain boundaries in the relationship between two people who used to be husband and wife after divorce to avoid awkwardness and fatigue."

The discussion and opinions were longer because of the personal stories that the people in the group shared, knowing and wanting to advise Hang. I paused for a few beats and asked more deeply about the reality of their ex-husband's relationship after the breakup. They both had a 5-year-old child together.

When having children, many problems in life come up, arise, there are conflicts between them that are not resolved in time, not yet transformed, then new conflicts arise. Fatigue piles up and everyone is stressed because they think "the other side does not understand me".

Unfortunately, they got divorced. But Hang and her husband's situation was not so bad that they had to end their marriage. They just needed to sit down, listen, and work things out. If both of them had betrayed or behaved rudely, causing pain and deep hurt to the other, then breaking up was inevitable.

If you have not found a common voice yet when your married life has many conflicts and you both do not have enough time or give each other a chance, then stopping is like a pause to consider.

You can become friends later to take care of your children together, so that your children feel that they still have both parents. And if possible, "loving again" is also a good way, in Hang's specific case.

In fact, after divorce, civilized behavior is only possible when both parties are civilized and respectful of each other throughout the marriage, whether happy or sad. On the contrary, when both or one party has behaved beyond acceptable limits, divorce is inevitable and the path to becoming friends afterwards may not be easy, if not impossible.

In case of being too hurt and forced to escape, people can only calm down, forget and rebuild their lives to be happier in another environment, with a more suitable new person.

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/ly-hon-roi-co-lam-ban-duoc-khong-20241013112139833.htm